Please open your Hymn books to....


From the How To Make Church Popular challenge. See all 397 entries (closed)

( M3Essential and The Essentials. LIVE!, Wed 14 Sep 2005, 23:50, archived)

hmmm...
you need a girlfriend...
EDIT: not that I wouldn't!!
( mikenco, Wed 14 Sep 2005, 23:51, archived)

don't tell the wife

( M3Essential and The Essentials. LIVE!, Wed 14 Sep 2005, 23:54, archived)

yours or mine??
(ssh either way ;))
( mikenco, Wed 14 Sep 2005, 23:55, archived)

mums the word

( M3Essential and The Essentials. LIVE!, Wed 14 Sep 2005, 23:58, archived)

Your wife is your mum?
You're from Norfolk aicmfp
( Uzbek Lobster http://custardsurgery.com/azerbaijan, Wed 14 Sep 2005, 23:59, archived)

Where people say
'I'd like you to meet my wife and sister' but they've only got one woman with them. And where they greet you by saying 'Gimme six'.
( shrinking man We've got lumps of it round the back, Thu 15 Sep 2005, 0:02, archived)

Hicks

( routine and Pantene, Thu 15 Sep 2005, 0:03, archived)

Really?
Bill Hicks is pretty much god-like to me. Are either/both of those gags his?
( shrinking man We've got lumps of it round the back, Thu 15 Sep 2005, 0:06, archived)

Yeah.
Pretty much verbatim, while discussing his adventures in Fyfe, Alabama.
( routine and Pantene, Thu 15 Sep 2005, 0:09, archived)

You live and learn eh?
Bob Monkhouse lifted the first one when he was on Have I got News For You, I always thought the gimme six joke was a local one (Cambridge btw). Woo to Bill Hicks then.
( shrinking man We've got lumps of it round the back, Thu 15 Sep 2005, 0:12, archived)

That fucking arsehole
.....errrrr....can't remember his name (was in that show set in a school in the 70's with Noddy Holder and played the PE teacher)...ripped off Hicks' smoking routine on the Jonathan Ross show a couple of years ago which made me hate him even more.

*Brian Conley - that's the cunt (seethes)
( routine and Pantene, Thu 15 Sep 2005, 0:15, archived)

You mean "The Grimleys"?
or something
( Uzbek Lobster http://custardsurgery.com/azerbaijan, Thu 15 Sep 2005, 0:21, archived)

I'll join you in hating...whatisname
If you're going to rip off other people's work, you should at least acknowledge it. Same applies here.
( shrinking man We've got lumps of it round the back, Thu 15 Sep 2005, 0:22, archived)

"Your sister is your mother,
Your father is your brother,
Your cousin is your lover,
You're the Norfolk Family"

[to the tune of "Addams Family", often heard at Portman Road :c)]
( Uzbek Lobster http://custardsurgery.com/azerbaijan, Thu 15 Sep 2005, 0:03, archived)

arf!

\sings along
( mikenco, Thu 15 Sep 2005, 0:05, archived)

They're good swimmers though
:-)
( chronic And he doesn't know I licked his back!, Thu 15 Sep 2005, 0:04, archived)

Also good at shooting gypsies
We were all good swimmers. Otherwise we wouldn't be here. fnar fnar
(Baron Samedi - sale must end, Thu 15 Sep 2005, 0:08, archived)

bloody hell, that went south a bit quick

( M3Essential and The Essentials. LIVE!, Thu 15 Sep 2005, 0:09, archived)

"b3ta - where no tone is left unlowered"

( Uzbek Lobster http://custardsurgery.com/azerbaijan, Thu 15 Sep 2005, 0:10, archived)

I blame Bernard Mathews.
Bootiful indeed.
( n8ive Monsters from the id!, Thu 15 Sep 2005, 0:11, archived)

'bootiful!'

( mikenco, Thu 15 Sep 2005, 0:12, archived)

Well
It was twenty minutes before anyone started a new thread. Anyway, what are tones for if not to be lowered?
( shrinking man We've got lumps of it round the back, Thu 15 Sep 2005, 0:15, archived)

Is she filling in a Sudoku thingy?
or perhaps even this is the new hymn board.
( Uzbek Lobster http://custardsurgery.com/azerbaijan, Wed 14 Sep 2005, 23:53, archived)

there's numbers?
oh...
(Meta4 whats a meta for?, Thu 15 Sep 2005, 0:05, archived)

you know he's dead right
not that it has anything to do with a hymn board...
just i kinda imagined a pic with him as the preacher
(Insane Maniac hates eggs, Thu 15 Sep 2005, 0:06, archived)

re: your username
yes you should.
(Meta4 whats a meta for?, Thu 15 Sep 2005, 0:06, archived)

this
it's called pregaming
( Agent Muu b3ta.com/board/9745928 <- b3taday festivities!, Thu 15 Sep 2005, 0:08, archived)

seconded

(Baron Samedi - sale must end, Thu 15 Sep 2005, 0:08, archived)

I'm still feeling the effects of last night

(Insane Maniac hates eggs, Thu 15 Sep 2005, 0:18, archived)

blleppy

( ygolyhuop; jkb;vi, Thu 15 Sep 2005, 0:11, archived)

wtf is up with her man chin?!?

(Insane Maniac hates eggs, Thu 15 Sep 2005, 0:20, archived)