Seeing Rasputin below made me think of this for the compo...


From the If Song Lyrics Were Literally True challenge. See all 784 entries (closed)

( printmeister http://scraundler.blogspot.com/, Tue 14 Aug 2007, 19:43, archived)

WIT-WIW!
W/Y!
( Zank Frappa Dahmer Llama Karma Drama!, Tue 14 Aug 2007, 19:43, archived)

cor!
fwaps! :D
( Rev. Jesse. listening to Meat Loaf on spotify!, Tue 14 Aug 2007, 19:45, archived)

'lo!

( Seventh takes the LER out of FLATTERY, Tue 14 Aug 2007, 19:48, archived)

'lo you!!
hows you :)
( Rev. Jesse. listening to Meat Loaf on spotify!, Tue 14 Aug 2007, 19:52, archived)

Hey there sir :)
Did your Facebook status say you were zombifying me again earlier? Or was it just a dream?
( beast_with_two_backs Every time you kill a kitten, God masturbates, Tue 14 Aug 2007, 20:11, archived)

Ha ha great!
'Oh those Russians'
( Baglady, Tue 14 Aug 2007, 19:46, archived)

the things they get up to eh

(Slartibartfast. Is currently ignoring: Slartibartfast, Tue 14 Aug 2007, 19:47, archived)

speaking of which...
I was in a club in St Petersburg with a few mates, totally ratted and an absolutely gorgeous russian girl approached me, she couldnt say anything apart from "in your hotel" whenever i tried to kiss her and when I said let's go, she said "now you buy drinks for me and my friends"

As I stood at the bar I had the terrible feeling that she was a hooker.

My friends later confirmed that they had seen an old man directing her and her friends to males on the dancefloor.

She then raped me, slashed my face and stole my money.

I ran away from the bar without buying any drinks.
( drbroon a poor wee monkey stole his face, Tue 14 Aug 2007, 19:53, archived)

"Ratted"
lovely turn of phrase that one :)
( Zank Frappa Dahmer Llama Karma Drama!, Tue 14 Aug 2007, 20:04, archived)

do you have directions to this place?

( Quim LEAK is Zombie obsessed - http://trioxin.wordpress.com/, Tue 14 Aug 2007, 20:04, archived)

haha
well according to a russian bloke we chatted to about the incident, the management of nightclubs in russia (most likely the touristy bits) allow prostitutes to operate because it's such a good way to make money. I have mixed feelings about the incident, she was gorgeous, and considering a packet of fags was the equivalent of 50 pence, it would have been excellent value for money.
( drbroon a poor wee monkey stole his face, Tue 14 Aug 2007, 20:15, archived)

hmm my only prostitute-experience
was when I took a *wrong turn* when I was out one night and found myself on a street packed with trannies offering blowjobs. Maybe some of them were just really ugly women. In any case, I, too, "made a run for it".

/most commas per word in a sentence evar

Also, may I add that your german is remarkably good for the fact that you've only been learning for 2 years.
(Slartibartfast. Is currently ignoring: Slartibartfast, Tue 14 Aug 2007, 20:06, archived)

cheers
well, i did german at school but didnt speak it at all for six years after leaving, so I only knew how to tell people what my name was and "wie komme ich am besten zur post?"
( drbroon a poor wee monkey stole his face, Tue 14 Aug 2007, 20:17, archived)

Immer Gerade Aus

/old dutch wartime game
( mediocre I am not strange, Tue 14 Aug 2007, 20:23, archived)

do you have directions to this place?

( M3Essential and The Essentials. LIVE!, Tue 14 Aug 2007, 20:18, archived)

Menlove St, Liverpool

( drbroon a poor wee monkey stole his face, Tue 14 Aug 2007, 20:19, archived)

I guess running away is better than
waking up in a bath of ice, missing a kidney.
( Aenesis, Tue 14 Aug 2007, 20:06, archived)

I've always wondered if that's actually ever happend to anybody
or if it's just an urban myth
(Slartibartfast. Is currently ignoring: Slartibartfast, Tue 14 Aug 2007, 20:08, archived)

i read that as wanking in a bath of ice

( Johno says the chances of anything coming from mars are a million to one But still they come on, Tue 14 Aug 2007, 20:08, archived)

i more of a pay for view guy
i like to see sport on the box
( mongychops you don't like him and he doesn't like you, Tue 14 Aug 2007, 20:12, archived)

lower of the russian queen
how rude: woo to both
( Your watch is quickly ticking towards 5K, Tue 14 Aug 2007, 19:47, archived)