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[challenge entry] Better safe than sorry.

From the Macho Products challenge. See all 340 entries (closed)

(, Fri 7 Nov 2008, 20:23, archived)
# I'm going to have to have a ris please Bob
(, Fri 7 Nov 2008, 20:24, archived)
# this
Guessing at a series of elaborae measures designed to obviate the necessity of speaking to a lady after casual carnal knowledge, but it's a bit of a stretch...
(, Fri 7 Nov 2008, 20:27, archived)
# I read that as "canal knowledge"
quite how I should take that I don't know
(, Fri 7 Nov 2008, 20:28, archived)
# Take it to Manchester
and find out.
(, Fri 7 Nov 2008, 20:29, archived)
# He can visit me and
i'll tell him stories of my boyhood watching the ships pass thtough Irlam locks. Or this one time, at ship camp, we ran one of BNFL's carriers aground after setting the engine on fire.
(, Fri 7 Nov 2008, 20:51, archived)
# I don't understand any of it
the paedo mask?
and what's a bethrothment kit?
(, Fri 7 Nov 2008, 20:28, archived)
# I think he means "betrothment"
Not sure what he's going for here. Perhaps he would have been better by coming up with a de-betrothment kit, just incase one were to accidentally propose to a lady while the worse for drink.

The paedo mask is not a bad touch. Any normal woman would feel too ashamed at the thought of having had knowledge of a nonce to want to hang around. She's need to go home and shower several times.
(, Fri 7 Nov 2008, 20:30, archived)
# it's the arm severing that I'm struggling with...
the others I can see how they might discourage furtner contact, but arm removal?
(, Fri 7 Nov 2008, 20:31, archived)
# I reckon
it's a kit to prank someone into thinking they are a pedalo who got married and the clap while drunk. The arm severance kit is to remove the tattoo.

As designed by a teetotal virgin.
(, Fri 7 Nov 2008, 20:33, archived)
# Well, I know I'm playing devil's advocate a bit now
but perhaps if one were at a lady's home, and she were asleep on one's arm, it may be preferable to sacrifice the arm rather than risk waking the lady and having to engage in social discourse.

Particularly if she's a minger.

I like the fact that it's clearly a toy plastic pirate's cutlass though.
(, Fri 7 Nov 2008, 20:33, archived)
# Aha!
Good shout.
(, Fri 7 Nov 2008, 20:34, archived)
# I think you mmight be right.
We need more of these thought-provoking posts here.
(, Fri 7 Nov 2008, 20:36, archived)
# i believe the term is
she was 'coyote ugly'

(i.e. you would rather gnaw your own arm off like a wild animal)
(, Fri 7 Nov 2008, 21:43, archived)
# How else do you escape with some heffer
layed asleep on your arm? Would YOU wake her up and take the risk?
(, Fri 7 Nov 2008, 20:39, archived)
# If you were a true gentleman
you would use the reverse hug-and-roll. It's like the hug-and-roll, but in reverse.
(, Fri 7 Nov 2008, 20:44, archived)
# so it's the product that
macho men would buy?
(, Fri 7 Nov 2008, 20:51, archived)
# Are you too young to
remember what this twat looked like when he was younger?

www.telegraph.co.uk/telegraph/multimedia/archive/00796/gary-Glitter_796955c.jpg
(, Fri 7 Nov 2008, 21:06, archived)
# If that is the case then I approve of the concept behind this post

(, Fri 7 Nov 2008, 20:29, archived)
# You what now?
The fake blobbly knob, is nowhere near pink spotty, rubber,twat enough
(, Fri 7 Nov 2008, 20:27, archived)
# "Blobbly" is a good word.
(, Fri 7 Nov 2008, 20:27, archived)
# That it is
(, Fri 7 Nov 2008, 20:28, archived)
# you're right, it looks nothing like Noel Edmunds
(, Fri 7 Nov 2008, 20:28, archived)
# Arf!
(, Fri 7 Nov 2008, 20:29, archived)
# i love bob
(, Fri 7 Nov 2008, 20:32, archived)
# As do I
(, Fri 7 Nov 2008, 20:35, archived)
# I like how its a Fake Blobby Knob
Just in case you mistake it for the real thing.
(, Fri 7 Nov 2008, 20:41, archived)
# Aisle sea ewe inn the mourning.
(, Fri 7 Nov 2008, 20:34, archived)
# Don't get me wrong, I am generally offensive to everyone,
but I think that this is wank.
(, Fri 7 Nov 2008, 20:58, archived)
# Its obvious...
The sword is to cut your arm off if she's leaning on it... better to run with one arm than stay with two.

Paedo mask... she's not gonna want to have a paedo boyfriend is she?

The blobby knob... if you wake up in a compromising position and she has hold of yours... what would you rather do... chop your own off with the sword, or place the blobby knob in her hands.

And the betrothment kit... if she wakes up, you ask her to marry you immediately and show her the tattoo with her name on it. Whilst she's holding her face and saying 'oh my' you grab your kit and get out of there as fast as your legs can carry you.

Least thats how it seems to me.
(, Fri 7 Nov 2008, 21:25, archived)
# Eggs
fucking sactly
(, Fri 7 Nov 2008, 23:15, archived)