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# You got off easy.
I was killed when people realised what was on my computer screen. Killed to DEATH.

(, Mon 9 Mar 2009, 21:38, archived)
# Bloody luxury.
I was dragged out into the street and thrown into a threshing machine where iron lizards danced on my colon for a thousand generations, whilst Barry Manilow sang Copacabana.
(, Mon 9 Mar 2009, 21:42, archived)
# Fucking hell!
The Barry Manilow is just cruel and unusual punishment!
(, Mon 9 Mar 2009, 21:43, archived)
# I was offered death or bonking
so i took bonking. then they bonked me to death

you got off light
(, Mon 9 Mar 2009, 21:46, archived)
# Pffft, that's nothing.
I was forcibly removed to a shoebox in the middle of t'road and fed nothing but cold gravel for twenty six hours a day, eight days a week.

Kids these days don't know how easy they've got it.
(, Mon 9 Mar 2009, 21:44, archived)
# Gravel? Luxury
I were fed aspartame and mercury.
(, Mon 9 Mar 2009, 21:47, archived)