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This is a challenge If Song Lyrics Were Literally True (This challenge is now closed)

if song lyrics were literally true

You're about as easy on me as a nuclear war?! Never mind the metaphors, imagine Simon le Bons' (or others) quite dreadful words were absolute fact.

(I helped save b3ta! rob You should follow me http://twitter.com/robmanuel, Thu 9 Aug 2007, 11:01)
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# Good old Shakin' Stevens

(I helped save b3ta! Lazlo Woodbine Fancy being an internet DJ? Gaz me for details., Thu 9 Aug 2007, 22:26, More)
# Let the wind blow high let the wind blow low...

(Baggypants - The Trousered Avenger, Thu 9 Aug 2007, 22:24, More)
# Whoah whoah whoah whooaaaah.....

(I helped save b3ta! Mstandot, Thu 9 Aug 2007, 22:21, More)
# "I believe i can i can fly"

(I helped save b3ta! Choc Ice Raspberries are crap Strawberries, Thu 9 Aug 2007, 22:15, More)
# Giant steps are what you take...
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(Bogbean, Thu 9 Aug 2007, 22:13, More)
# ....

(clumsyeloquence is a girl, Thu 9 Aug 2007, 22:12, More)
# ...

bindun?
(I helped save b3ta! Dave! Dong Merrily on High BAH FUCKING HUMBUG http://bit.ly/FREEPORN, Thu 9 Aug 2007, 22:10, More)
# Can I pea this as a compo entry then?

(I helped save b3ta! Lazlo Woodbine Fancy being an internet DJ? Gaz me for details., Thu 9 Aug 2007, 22:08, More)
# do misheard ones count?

(I helped save b3ta! the.jokl is fed up of her fucking face, Thu 9 Aug 2007, 22:07, More)
# Odyssey 1981


Lyrics
Music
(I helped save b3ta! printmeister http://scraundler.blogspot.com/, Thu 9 Aug 2007, 22:04, More)
# just the chorus!

(Ring Of Fire YOU LOOKING AT ME! that's nice, Thu 9 Aug 2007, 22:00, More)
# Time we had a bit of opera in this challenge
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Link for the less cultured among you.

(EDIT: Marginally clearer now.)
(I helped save b3ta! Sonic the Hedgetrimmer doesn't care what you think, Thu 9 Aug 2007, 21:59, More)
# Well, what does she look like ?
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www.youtube.com/watch?v=f4zAHk6cC3c
(I helped save b3ta! CanonCaliber I'll laugh if you laugh, Thu 9 Aug 2007, 21:57, More)
# Obligatory Risworthy Weekly Compo Posting from Ptolly Follows...

(I helped save b3ta! Ptolemy the man with the silent pea, Thu 9 Aug 2007, 21:56, More)
# I was so upset that I cried all the way to the chip shop

Edit: since posting this I realise I actually have this wrong:
"Moron was originally a scientific term, coined by psychologist Henry H. Goddard from the Greek word moros meaning "dull" (as opposed to sharp) and used to describe a person with a mental age between 8 and 12 on the Binet scale. It was also once applied to people with an IQ of 51-70 and was a step up from "imbecile" (IQ of 26-50) and two steps up from "idiot" (IQ of 0-25)."

So I guess Roland is a moron.
(I helped save b3ta! Roland E O'Dorant R Tape loading error, 0:1, Thu 9 Aug 2007, 21:49, More)
# Grrrr!

(Gaizka Thanks For Your Cunting Time, Thu 9 Aug 2007, 21:48, More)
# The old ones are the best !

(delboyonline Rolf Harris, You're So Big!, Thu 9 Aug 2007, 21:47, More)
#

(I helped save b3ta! M3Essential and The Essentials. LIVE!, Thu 9 Aug 2007, 21:43, More)
# Morrisey'd


Geddit?
(Chitch, Thu 9 Aug 2007, 21:43, More)
# If they were TV shows?

(Baggypants - The Trousered Avenger, Thu 9 Aug 2007, 21:36, More)
Pages: 40, 39, 38, 37, 36, 35, 34, 33, 32, 31, 30, 29, 28, 27, 26, 25, 24, 23, 22, 21, 20, 19, 18, 17, 16, 15, 14, 13, 12, 11, 10, 9, 8, 7, 6, 5, 4, 3, 2, 1 (or see the popular posts)