Joint Account
I've only ever been barred from a pub once, such is the gentlemanly mannar in which I conduct myself when i'm boozing. In fact, this story has little do do with booze.

Anybody familiar with Lancaster will know the student haven 'The Merchants' - nice enough pub with three long tunnels comprising the main sections of the pub.

The third tunnel, rumour had it, was a safe zone for those who liked a joint with their beer - this was us, and we'd smelled cannabis being smoked in the pub on previous occasions so thusly emboldened we sparked up a fatty boombatty in tunnel three and got nicely stoned with our Guinness.

Trouble was, after two or three of these, we were quite boxed, and the joint I was smoking had long since gone out as I blathered on about some nonsense or other. It was my round and I headed off to the bar with aforementioned number in my hand. Whilst waiting for the black stuf to settle, I noticed the extinguished bifta and reflex-lit it, as i'd done with a thousand roll-ups.

The bar area quickly became a fug of pungent gold seal smoke and it was at this very point two stern looking Police Constables strolled into the establishment - we were off in an instant, finely attuned to the presence of el Plod and fearful of their new powers of the Criminal Justice Act.

A few days later we attempted to slip back into the pub but were informed by the staff that we, being the stupid c*nts who stank the place out with dope and led to a whole bunch of innocent students being searched, were barred for the foreseeable. :-D
(Jay Tea, Thu 31 Aug 2006, 12:33, Reply)