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This is a question Wanking Disasters Part II

Despite the warnings contained in our previous question on The Act of Onan, you all still appear to be masturbating like monkeys in a zoo. Tell us your stories of jerking the gherkin and double-clicking the mouse.

Suggested by Mrs Entity and DaveExclamationMark, voted for by YOU

(, Thu 17 Feb 2011, 12:22)
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It all began with my first proper girlfriend
We'd met up on a Sunday and hung around the shopping centre for a bit. After some persuasion, I'd managed to convince her to wank me off in the slightly hidden spot behind Barclays bank.

So lil lil ben is out and, before starting, she tells me not to cum on her.
No problem, I think, I'm 16* and have managed to get a good few years of practice in and am pretty apt at finishing myself off.

However I had failed to take in to account that her wanking technique wasn't quote as honed as mine. I think she'd picked up tips off farming programs as it was suspiciously similar to the way they milk cows.

Some 45 minutes later, 30 of that being on the brink, I'm finally at the vinegar strokes. Sod this, I think, it's taken so bloody long I'm just going to cum. So cum I did.

Funnily enough, I lose interest in hanging around her and decide to head off home without even a thought to where my man juice went.

I got home, hung my coat up and exchanged pleasantries and had a chat with my parents before heading in to the bathroom to brush my teeth.

Then I noticed it.

My dark red top had a huge white smear that from my right shoulder to my left hip that could only be cum.
Yep, I'd spent a good 5 minutes chatting to my parents with a massive cum stain on my jumper.

Amazingly, they've never mentioned it.

*late I know
(, Thu 17 Feb 2011, 22:17, Reply)

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