How not to work with autistic children
Until recently, the sweary other half worked in a school, supporting kids with assorted learning difficulties. Full autistic spectrum, Downs Syndrome, you name it, she worked with ‘em. I couldn’t do it, but she has a natural affinity for it – bloody good at her job. And she loved it. Until she was well and truly shafted by the head, who informed her a day before the end of summer term last year that she was being made redundant, but ‘you’ll have to come back after the summer holidays and work your notice while we work out what your redundancy entitlement is’. The excuse being that as she didn’t have any formal qualifications, they needed to consider the qualified staff first, no matter how crap at their jobs they were. And many of them were very crap.

Mightily pissed off, she went back for a couple of days, but when the head was still pissing around working out her entitlement, walked out, figuring her time would be better spent looking for something else or doing some training. OK, she missed out on the redundancy payment (which would have been about 3 weeks wages, so no great loss), but at least she had the satisfaction of landing the head in the shit because of her assumption that she’d have extra help until the half term. Apparently the head had a mini-breakdown not long afterwards…

Anyway, many of the people working there, quite frankly, shouldn’t have been as they hadn’t the first clue about kids with special needs. One in particular (Jo) was an indescribably huge woman, who when she got down on the floor needed an industrial crane to get her back on her (greatly protesting) feet. She was massive – not really the type of person you would want supervising if a kid with ADHD decided to make a bolt for freedom. I met her and her husband socially once – he was as skinny as a rake, so a bit of an odd couple. And they had 2 kids as well – the thought of them at it makes me shudder. Probably like poking a vat of custard with a knitting needle…

Jo suffered from an unshakeable belief in her abilities, and thought she knew everything about kids with autism. She didn’t. Most autistic kids don’t do communication very well. If you talk to them, they tend to look away otherwise their senses get overloaded and they panic. Jo couldn’t be told this, and every day would reduce these poor little buggers to terrified, emotionally distraught jellies, by going right up to their faces, bombarding them with language and facial expressions, whilst prodding and poking them. And then doing it even more when they started screaming and telling her they didn’t like it and could she stop please.

Honestly. And they made my other half redundant?
( Davros' Granddad a voice of calm reason in a world of spastics., Thu 24 Jan 2008, 14:15, 6 replies)

poking a vat of custard with a knitting needle
genius!

click!
(twiceydrinker hmmm is it pint time?, Thu 24 Jan 2008, 14:21, closed)

Clickety
^ Wot he said ^
(oneloafleft, Thu 24 Jan 2008, 15:00, closed)

Oh my fucking God/Allah/insert deity of choice!!!
Davros, really....! The accuracy of the tale is spot on..... However, the done thing really is to use pseudonyms FOR FUCKS SAKE! The only detail you've ommitted is the name of the establishment fuckingsnothellbuggerpiss! The large Gregg's-loving lady in question happens to also be a saddo married to an even bigger geek. Buddah only knows how my job reference will turn out if either of them are party to b3ta. PISSFLAPS!
( Tourette's ( . )( . ) has a monkey hair in her fried egg, Thu 24 Jan 2008, 21:30, closed)

P.S.
The knitting needle / vat of custard analogy is particularly sweet - the specified custard, one assumes, would be most effective cold. Or,even worse, exactly 37 degrees celcius..... eeeuough-fuck-snot,
( Tourette's ( . )( . ) has a monkey hair in her fried egg, Thu 24 Jan 2008, 21:40, closed)

Cold, definitely...
For the added bounce factor.

Sorry pet, I should have edited this to protect the Birds-analogous one...

heh heh heh...

* Told you she was a bit sweary.
( Davros' Granddad a voice of calm reason in a world of spastics., Thu 24 Jan 2008, 21:45, closed)

Yay!
Hi Tourettes.

Now you've broken your B3ta cherry you'll have to start posting some of your own tales....

Cheers
( Legless Mister Stabby - shanks for the memory, Fri 25 Jan 2008, 2:49, closed)