As I have previously reported, my mother is quite bonkers.
She has various obsessons, a recent one being making junk jewellery. It started when we asked her to sort out which of her earrings she wanted to keep and which to give away, pair them up and we would take them to the thrift shop. She instead began buying small toys of all sorts and gluing posts to them so she could wear them on her ears. It is also important to note in the story that my mother is 270 pounds and 5'2" tall.

My father and I tried to reason with her when she had made several hundred pairs of earrings and they had taken over most of the living room and dining room. My dad asked why she needed that many earrings, and Mom responded with "Because the old ones are no good any more."

With lightning-fast brilliance I shot back "Why, did you get too fat for them?" Mom didn't get the joke at all and so wasn't offended, only confused, but Dad and I laughed uncontrollably for several minutes.

**DISCLAIMER: I am not a horrible daughter, we are just a horrible family. Such remarks are a sign of affection in our house.**
(ghettobooty, Thu 29 Apr 2004, 21:10, Reply)