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This is a question Biggest opportunity I've blown

Not Alan Partridge tells us: "I was once offered the chance to co-present a programme on national radio. Audience of millions, but blew up spectacularly, my entire contribution being the rustling of paper in the background. I was that bad, I have since burned my copy of the pilot show." Tell us about your big break, and how you messed it up.

(I helped save b3ta! Scaryduck LIKES EGG, Thu 3 Apr 2014, 14:22)
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[sensational title]
[lies which say that I'm excellent enough to have had an absurdly good opportunity presented to me, but unfortunate enough that circumstances forced me to have to miss out through no fault of my own]

[some final sentence which will make everyone flatter and commiserate me]
(eViLegion Chief Commissioner of the Scottish Lunacy Board, Thu 3 Apr 2014, 15:18, 7 replies)
Cock.

(I helped save b3ta! Je suis un vagabond is an unfunny, up your own arse middle class knob, Thu 3 Apr 2014, 15:23, closed)
Please flatter and commiserate me.

(eViLegion Chief Commissioner of the Scottish Lunacy Board, Thu 3 Apr 2014, 15:25, closed)
[answer in square brackets making reference to some common type of answer]

(I helped save b3ta! Dr. Shambolic je suis charlie, Thu 3 Apr 2014, 15:27, closed)
[Rebuttal, accompanied by a claim that you're upset.]

(I helped save b3ta! Muns, Thu 3 Apr 2014, 15:42, closed)
{picture of Steve McDonald}

(andythepieman Is surfing the waves of indifference on, Thu 3 Apr 2014, 15:50, closed)
[typical Liemallow]

(I helped save b3ta! monster munch person, man, woman... camera... TV?, Thu 3 Apr 2014, 15:37, closed)
Done

(I helped save b3ta! d.r._and_quinch when will you be famous?, Thu 3 Apr 2014, 17:26, closed)

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