Spa break at the Langstone hotel? Don't bother
If you're tempted to book a Spa break at the Langstone Hotel on Hayling Island, think twice.

Simply because at their "relaxing spa suite" you may, as me and my lady did, that the steam room is broken, the jacuzzi is close for repair/renovation/thorough cleaning etc which basically means the "relaxing spa suite" is in fact a small pool and a poor quality sauna shed. Ironically both of which are features available at most gyms for a few quid per visit.
If we'd have known that we wouldn't have spent a couple of hours driving a long way for a packed hotel with faulty facilities in what turns out to be a pretty crappy part of Britain.
Incidentally the weekend was made that bit more perfect by repeated fire alarms sounding for several minutes a time during the night as the pissed up guests at TWO simultaneous wedding receptions forgot you can't smoke in your bedroom. Never mind, at least there was a huge queue for the expensive breakfast in the morning which was picked bare by the hoards of hungry hungover guests who couldn't sleep either and seemed to get there before me.
Also they don't bother to acknowledge or reply to any letters you may care to send them detailing your experiences.
(golddust QOTW now revolves around being a cunt, Thu 2 Sep 2010, 15:40, 10 replies)

have you heard of this thing called the internet
its got reviews and stuff on it

but i don't think it will catch on
( spimf ™ is whoever you want him to be, Thu 2 Sep 2010, 15:48, closed)

Pfft
I was just about to reply 'I think you want Trip Advisor'.

But seriously, golddust, if you complain high enough (General Manager, then Head Office if needed) & threaten bad reviews they should do something.
( Geoff the Clownfish You know Myra, some people might think you're cute, Thu 2 Sep 2010, 16:07, closed)

Hayling Island
hahahahahaha Portsmouth smells of shit has the highest population per square mile than anywhere else in the whole of Europe. It is full of chav scum and I have to work there every day.. luckily live in sunny not so scummy Southampton
(TwinkleFuckingToes Has a ingrown toe nail, Thu 2 Sep 2010, 15:54, closed)

Portsmouth only exists
to make Southampton seem acceptable...
(moon monkey is busy making memories worth repressing, Thu 2 Sep 2010, 16:10, closed)

Until...
You move from the Portsmouth area to Eastleigh and find that all the little chavs think they are London ganstaaas brrrrap etc!
(markthatiscalledmark, Fri 3 Sep 2010, 8:25, closed)

Yeah Eastleigh is a shit hole

(TwinkleFuckingToes Has a ingrown toe nail, Fri 3 Sep 2010, 10:18, closed)

.
Wasn't me, but a friend booked a weekend at a club Med place near where we lived for him and his girlfriend, hoping for a nice peacefull break.

He found that unbeknown to him, a group of 400 x 18 - 30 singles had arranged to be there the same weekend. Him + GF never got near any food (had to go out to a resaturant 15 miles away), never got near any kind of activity, were confronted by shagging couples in every nook, cranny, sunlounger and bush, and had someone noisily puke outside their room at 3am, then spend 15 minutes trying to get their key into his door.

They packed up and left at 7am on the Sunday. Club Med's response to their inevitable complaint was basically that all the facilities they had contracted to provied were available, it was a particularly busy weekend so regretably some facilities may have been busy.

It amazes me that they didn't just give him his money back. That's simply immoral.
( Not Pineapple anymore, Thu 2 Sep 2010, 15:54, closed)

That makes
... 7170 singles!
(karnuvap, Fri 3 Sep 2010, 17:38, closed)

A tip from the top.
My mate was a senior hotel inspector (he got the really bad ones) and the one tip he gave me was that when you are having a bad experience in a hotel produce a pad and pen and start making notes. Names, phone numbers, incidents, anything. Whenever staff appear, stop writing and close the book making sure they have seen you do so. It's amazing how quickly things pick up.
(porkylips looks better as the sun goes down., Thu 2 Sep 2010, 17:08, closed)

It could of been worse
Once upon a time that place was the venue for our generic school Prom/Thank smeg its all over bash many many summers ago, so you could of also been stuck with bored drunk and stoned teenagers!
(markthatiscalledmark, Fri 3 Sep 2010, 8:22, closed)