St Petersberg Hotel
On the banks of the neva river.

Just after Snake Plisken the taxi driver had finally dropped me off

Check this story

www.b3ta.com/questions/desperatetimes/post99502

I was finally at my hotel called the St Petersberg (the guests there called it belsen), a
relic of the cold war, monstorous in size and a weird smell of rancid fish about the whole place.

I finally found my room after about half an
hour and crashed wearily through the door
to be met by what can only be explained as
a 1960's austin Powers style room (with the most reflective pink and grey wallpaper known to man), finished off with a beautiful old radio that i imagined a russian family sitting round listening to the rants of Stalin on decades before.

The radio itself didnt seem to have any switches on and would burst into life at random times of the day or night with the worst choice of British 80's cheese music and a Russian D.J
presenting it who had a voice
that made you want to slash your wrists.

I was about to fall into a sleep of the feckin knackered when in walks my room mate for the night, a hyperactive chineseman named chen who
inbetween his bouts of coughing up flem for olympics would call me mr Englishman fish and chips and burst into the most annoying laugh ive ever heard(it was ok the first ten times). I slept in the bath that night explaining that i had a phobia of bedbugs, but it was the fact he would not shut the hell up.

When i woke up i walked down to one of the many hotel restaurants in the morning to find hundreds of people queing as if we were in a siberian gulag and ended
up eating the most rubbery food that actually looked as it was fake.

I walked the long walk back to my room (It required a map to do so) and plugged in my radio only for the socket to explode and fuse my radio wire to it. I decided to ring down to one of the receptions to complain and i was passed around so many times i thought i was on the phone to NTL.
The whole building must have had a village of people working to keep it functioning and there was a general fuck you attitude from the staff


The best part of the hotel was that it was so big they lost my luggage for two days and when it did turn back up there was a rather large thong that would have fit a baby bull elephant.

Don't get me wrong the whole holiday was one of the best experiences of my life but i find life always trys to kick you in the nads when your down.
( Trollman, Fri 18 Jan 2008, 16:39, Reply)