Last night
My housemates and I were practicing for an upcoming cricket match. One of my housemates catches a beamer (ball that leaves the hand and does not bounce) square in the balls. Guess who has left his box at home? Brought a tear to my eye from laughing so hard. He is now awaiting a scan and may need to have an operation but every male I mention it to laughs then imagines the pain and squirms. Just thinking about the noises he made is making me uncomfortable and bringing tears to my eyes.
( juliogeordio, Fri 15 Apr 2005, 9:59, Reply)

When the wind blows...
By Ramond Briggs, it gets me every time. Having grown up with constantly being told by the media that the USA and USSR were minutes away from blowing the world up, the thought of two old people expecting the milkman to come after a nuclear war always gets to me. And the end is even worse. They just didn't know what was going on. I'm a big six foot bloke but can't help blubbing.
( The Beast can't help looking at womens breasts on the tube, Fri 15 Apr 2005, 9:52, Reply)

Not really the last time, but it might make people laugh
Woke up in hospital just outside Prague after an ill-advised Absinthe binge. Later found out I’d been found in a pool of blood and carted off in an ambulance. At Accident and Emergency they cleaned me up and realised it was just a broken nose, so I went to a drying-out clinic where they did blood tests and then on to Intensive Care when my blood-alcohol levels came back.
When I woke up I got up to leave and felt something on my arm – a drip needle, which I promptly removed. Went to get up again, and felt something on my chest – the ECG pads – peeled them off. Went to get up again, and, ehh? What’s that? Lifted the covers and saw the catheter, which I removed. Now doctors wince when I tell this story, because unbeknownst to me at the time, catheters have a bubble that’s inflated after insertion and deflated before it’s removed. I pulled the catheter, with bubble still inflated (to the size of a small grape) all the way out. Apparently lucky not to do lasting damage, I cried each time I pissed for two days after. Apologise for length? – I was more sorry for each painful inch than you’ll ever be.
(Scoobs, Fri 15 Apr 2005, 9:52, Reply)

16th anniversary of hillsborough
www.contrast.org/hillsborough/home.shtm

absolutely fucking heartbreaking.cried reading this last night.

justice for the 96.
dont buy the s*n.
(discodaz *generic witty comment*, Fri 15 Apr 2005, 9:43, Reply)

.
It's not that we don't have a lounge in our house, it's just that we can't be arsed to go downstairs and use it and so always end up chatting on the landing.

One of my housemate fidgets all the time, he really can't sit still for toffee. He also has abnormally large toes.

The other day we were chatting and he was lying on his back with his head in his room when he slowly lifts his leg over his head and grabs with said toes, the door handle. At which he promptly slams the door straight in to the top of his head.


I cried laughing!
(baco_the_foil, Fri 15 Apr 2005, 9:38, Reply)

When I slid down the bannisters
and used my bololocks as brakes.
Certainly brought a tear to the eye, I can tell you.
(Tibbins, Fri 15 Apr 2005, 9:24, Reply)

Bloomin Women
Got a few for you, good one first (bit of a repost)
I shed a tear or two when i saw my sisters first child, he was 13 weeks premature and going to live. I mist up every single time i think of seeing him in that incubator.

Bad ones.
Otherwise i used to be a bit of a cold hearted bastard, till i met my first love who dumped me on boxing day after telling me she loved me on xmas day. She fucked off with a mate! Cried like a baby.

I shed a tear recently after splitting up with my current gf, we had been bestmates for years n years. We only lasted a few months. Fucksocks, everything we had is gone, miss her like crazy. Saw her lastnight, double fucksocks!
(Fishbone-didi, Fri 15 Apr 2005, 9:00, Reply)

Anginatastic
Whenever John runs out of English Mustard........(Mmmmmm English Mustard, the only thing they do well)
*Screeches orf t'Johns*
( Goriath, Fri 15 Apr 2005, 8:56, Reply)

Argentina

( Dr. Shambolic je suis charlie, Fri 15 Apr 2005, 7:52, Reply)

1 bad 1 good
Bad - When Mrs N lost her very close grandad. She was so very sad and cried with such passion at the loss. She loved that old bloke very much. Me, tower of strength, had to go to the toilet to have a bit of a cry then. Not a good time.

But...

Good - Went with Mrs N to see Dodgeball at the flicks when it came out. Very nearly died laughing after the "Cock flavoured lollypop" line. Tears of unmitigated hilarity were spraying all over the cinema. When we realised we were laughing so hard it set us off again and we managed to piss off about 500 Belgians (for that is where we live) by laughing REALLY loudly. And just as we were settling down again the "bunch of retards trying to fuck a doorknob" line was said and it set us off again. I was so tired after laughing so much I fell asleep on the 5 minute bus ride home. Woke up in such a great mood. Laughter truly is the best medicine as they say. Please, NO MORE SAD QOTWs you horrible b3ta people!

Can we have a few "cried becuase I was happy" stories please?
( Normanator Bad case of trapped wind since, Fri 15 Apr 2005, 7:41, Reply)

Dark cynical bastard
Almost cried at Meet Joe Black.

Argh.

I blame illness/boredom/Anthony Hopkins/lack of hugs.
( TechImp is trying to be nice (with great difficulty)., Fri 15 Apr 2005, 7:30, Reply)

You are all lucky bastards,
I can't cry, much as I need to have a massive old blubber. My wife who was my childhood sweetheart was raped and murdered some ten years ago now. I was also badly beaten up, and was left to bring up our child. I miss her more painfully every day of every week of every year, and can't even think of starting a new relationship. I think, if only I could, cry, if only I could purge myself through tears and a huge show of emotion- - - - still, gotta laugh at some of this B3ta stuff, thanks.
(anotheradam, Fri 15 Apr 2005, 7:04, Reply)

Oo, last time I REALLY cried...
Hmm... December 19th, 2003. Early morning.

My dad woke me up by walking into my bedroom and simply said, "Your mom's gone." I didn't entirely know what I meant -- surely she didn't die; she was only 57 and I hadn't moved out yet! So I put some pants on and went out to look. She was in her bed.

I cried on and off for the next two hours and police and paramedics came in and out of our house, and that damned chaplain didn't help things at all. Didn't cry at all during the next few days, though. That was the first -- and last -- time that I cried in the past 8 years. Not at the funeral, nor the viewing, nor the enterring(sp? Oh fuck it). Hell, I even gave a speech about how it was alright to cry at the services, which got rave reviews from everyone there. But I had the only dry eyes.

--

Nowadays, whenever I watch Dancer in the Dark, I get choked up and breathe kind of heavy at the end.. but I don't cry. Perhaps I'm emotionally damaged.

EDIT--
Oh, I lied! It was actually the 1st and last time in 5 years. Reading all of this reminded me of 8th grade.. *shudders* those days sucked.
( CTVadim Eeeeasing back into it., Fri 15 Apr 2005, 6:53, Reply)

Yesterday. PMT
Man: Would you like a cup of tea?
Me: Yes please
Man: You don't want sugar in it, do you?
Me: ARE YOU CALLING ME FAT? WHY WOULD YOU SAY THAT, YOU HORRIBLE BASTARD? I CAN'T BELIEVE YOU JUST CALLED ME FAT
*sob sob chokey tears of melodrama*
(b3tasux, Fri 15 Apr 2005, 6:01, Reply)

Crying out of confusion
seems to be the thing for me recently, last evening being the most recent. Forbidden love, typical of soap operas. Hiding our feelings for one another from everyone else, lying to significant others, feeling powerless to find a solution, dreading goodbyes even though we will see each other again. But theres still a sense that it will work out, somehow.
( haylith has been gone a long, long time, Fri 15 Apr 2005, 4:59, Reply)

this morning
i woke up around 6 a.m., on only 3 hours of sleep, to the sound of glass breaking. my little kitty has, over the course of the past several weeks, decided it was loads of fun to get on every shelf and knock things off of it - she likes watching what will happen. it's futile to put everything back up on the shelves, so i've just said "fuck it" and left the various objects, the ones still intact anyway - most of which are breakable - setting on the floor.

well, she'd finally knocked the very last thing off of any shelf left in the house - a ceramic cat my mum had given me about 10 years ago. i went ballistic. i threw her in her carrier to avoid killing her, and went to clean up the mess on the floor. my glasses weren't on, so i was bent over these tiny shards, and suddenly i just lost it.

i moved here several months ago, 800 miles away from my family, away from all my friends... and i love my kitties to death, but my only source of comfort was now destroying my memories of my loved ones, one by one. three things in this past week have been shattered or mangled beyond recognition and had to go in the bin. three different things that made me smile and for a moment remember i was loved...

the frustration culminated, i sat on the floor and cried violently for five minutes, and then crawled back into bed, feeling defeated, for another hour of sleep.

even though i know piecing it back together is never going to happen, i couldn't bring myself to trash it, so i kept all the bits anyway.
( mayonessa, Fri 15 Apr 2005, 4:38, Reply)

Hotaru no Haka
Or Grave of the Fireflies as it's known in english. I'm a fan of all things Studio Ghibli has a hand in, but this one movie is pretty much universally heart wrenching and painful. If anybody can watch this movie and not bawl their eyes out by the end, they are officially a robot. I haven't seen that recently though so I don't know if counts, so if you're looking for things that qualify as recent, that'd be with the parents at the vets having to have our dog euthanized after she had a stroke just over a month ago.
(Cloven, Fri 15 Apr 2005, 4:31, Reply)

Last request
My colleague's eight year-old son was in hospital for the last time with leukemia. I called Ben and asked if there was anything he wanted or needed. His response,"Don't forget about me, Uncle Dave." I found my face was wet after I hung up. And I will always remember.
(Lister, Fri 15 Apr 2005, 4:04, Reply)

Pain
At a cookout in a posh neighborhood in L.A., I heard a woman scream from next door. Her toddler had fallen into the deep end of their pool. I ran across the lawn and dove in after the child; unfortunately I took off too early and caught the lip of the pool, removing all of the skin from my wrists, chest and knees.

When I pulled the kid out from the deep end, he was unconscious and not breathing. I held him upside down and was astonished at the quantity of water that gushed out. I then performed CPR and after about 30 seconds, he came around coughing up more water. As the paramedics arrived, the mother and her two daughters were hugging me and laughing and crying. That horrible tension was gone and there was massive relief. The paramedic then sprayed my scrapes with Atom Bomb or some similar, painful disinfectant. Tears welled up.

But I wasn't the goat.
(Lister, Fri 15 Apr 2005, 3:53, Reply)

Parking Tickets
I was all set to go out to a nice party, but then when I got to my car, there were six parking tickets on the windscreen. I wept for my lost beer money.

Oh, and Saving Private Ryan.
(FleetlordVT, Fri 15 Apr 2005, 3:07, Reply)

Just heard
last weekend that my sister-in-law will have to terminate her pregnancy, because the baby has some serious problems.
If it actually survived the pregnancy, it would have a very poor quality of life and die soon anyway.
But I was very sad to hear that, especially since I'm not even in the same country as them, so I can't *do* anything ...
(Celerydemon, Fri 15 Apr 2005, 3:07, Reply)

Looking on the bright side...
Okay, mebby not the last thing I cried about, but the song 'always look on the bright side of life' wells me up somewhat and it was my birthday recently...

I was listening to it whilst my mum and her boyfriend were having a blazing row. She grabbed my brother sisiter and I, and drove to my grandparents whilst that song was still playing in my head (as songs do when they're the last thing you're listening to before leaving the house).

The next day the police contacted my mum whilst we were at my grandparents to tell her that her boyfriend had killed himself.

Two days before my thirteenth birthday.

I don't celebrate my birthdays anymore.

Apologies for depressing morbidness, length doesn't matter this time.
(EmptyGreg, Fri 15 Apr 2005, 2:32, Reply)

i seem to cry at anything lately
reading through this weeks replies has used half a box of tissues.
cried quite a lot when my wife dumped my arse but that turned out to be a trial run for how i've been feeling lately.two years ago i met the most amazing woman ever and we love each other so much it's scary.for various reasons we can't be together though and hardly ever get to see each other despite our feelings.
needless to say i now cry like a bairn at virtually anything and every song i own reminds me of her.
my sis and her mates took me out to make me feel better a while back and i ended up sitting alone in the beer garden at midnight in the pishing rain blubbing like a 3 year old girl.self pity sucks arse :o(
apologies for length etc etc
edit : also the aforementioned sis is suffering depression at the moment ( seems to be popular in the family ) and my brother is in and out of hospital for radiation therapy after having a lump removed from his throat and we're hoping it hasn't spread elsewhere ( looking good at the moment...only half decent news lately )
(wool, Fri 15 Apr 2005, 2:26, Reply)

A few days ago
When my mum told me that the uncle I didn't know was seriously ill, and I've not seen since I was very young, had just died.

I can't remember the last time I felt so helpless, I'm the other side of the world to a family racked by pointless and painful family politics that have been poisoning multiple generations slowly. I know enough about this to know that my mum is probably going through about a million types of hell right now and I'm most likely the only one who has any clue. But I'm in China, she's in the UK and my contract isn't up for another couple of monthes.

And two weeks ago her favourite aunt, the relative she was closest to as a child died also. The greatest proof that there's a God to my mind is that he's most likely a sadistic bugger who thinks this kind of stuff is fun.
( Jessie © needs pirate name suggestions, Fri 15 Apr 2005, 2:26, Reply)

oh god
I feel like an idiot, but yes...I cried at the end of Shall We Dance?, that shitty movie with Richard Gere and J. Lo.

What can I say? On a trans-atlantic flight, after the food they serve...anything seems sad and beautiful.
(dippingsauce, Fri 15 Apr 2005, 2:22, Reply)

nothing quite like breaking up with a boyfriend or starving alone in a cave, but here goes..
I took what I thought would be a lovely day-trip, but turned into one of the more frustrating afternoons of my life. I had run around, lost, for about three hours in ungodly heat, trying to get from point A to point B by a certain time (which ended up being a nice tour to points C, D, F, Q and all in between). I had bought a sandwich and soda which I would take with me on the four hour busride home, paid for both, and the vendor had neglected to give me the soda. I finally get to the bus, board, and almost have a heart attack thinking I had lost the prepaid ticket, which had fallen to the floor.

Once that mess was all over with, I sat, eating my sandwich, being thirsty, and the movie "I Am Sam" comes on. I knew the premise of the movie already; it's one of those emotion-exploiting heart wrenchers about a semi-retarded man trying to gain custody of his daughter, if you've never heard of it. Whatever. I was half-paying attention to it for a while, rolling my eyes and sighing to my neighbor about my total disinterest in what was going on. Suddenly, the tough bitchy lawyer for the retarded man breaks down and carries on in a helpless way to the guy about all her problems and faults. At this point I got sucked in, my eyes started to water a bit, but I took a deep breath and gained my composure. Then I cried for twenty minutes like a little abandoned baby.

The last time I cried because of a movie was when I was about ten, watching "It's a Wonderful Life", so it has been quite a while.
Apologies for length, girth, lack of worth...
(toasty, Fri 15 Apr 2005, 2:05, Reply)

The last time I officially cried...
Was watching this:

www.videogamedc.com/Pixeled_Parodies/Rise_Of_The_Mushroom_Kingdom/rise_of_the_mushroom_kingdom.html

I dont know why. It's about the Mario Bros and they have done nothing but caused me misery through their irritating games. Thats not why I cried though. The film opens with Mario getting killed (its the opening so dont think of it as a spoiler) and there is a funeral scene directly after that. Its crazy to think of why it could possibly have made me cry: The music is from Titanic, the cartoon is bloody sprite animation. There was just something in the way that Luigi fell to his knees and cried for his brother as the coffin descended. It brought a tear to my eye.

No need to judge me; my friends have taken care of that.
( shovelboy This is bad - Two minutes to Belgium, Fri 15 Apr 2005, 1:21, Reply)

Now
Having today broken up with my boyfriend, with me suffering from serious clinical depression. Feel like life has hit it's worst, and not sure where to go from here.
(Wibbly Pig, Fri 15 Apr 2005, 1:10, Reply)