sweet revenge
In summer of last year I happened to be visiting some mates in that there London town, them being city dwellers they have about 10 cubic feet of personal living space each and share their house with an ever changing number of strangers. At this point in time however, one such stranger was renowned for being just about the rudest woman on the planet and they were all counting the days down to when they could finally get rid of her.

Just as an example, one of the guys that lived in the house came home from his dad’s wake obviously grief stricken but also quite pissed, as he entered the house he fell over into the massive pile of bikes at the front door…Beast appears at the top of the stairs and yells “I’m glad your dad died, perhaps you know how miserable I am because you’ve woken me up”. She really was the most unpleasant creature.

Anyway I digress, all she ever said to me was that i would have to sleep on the floor in the front room and not on her sofa bed (also in the front room) as it wasn’t meant for sleeping on (a really shit sofa bed then?). When I settled down for a kip I required some reading material and low and behold Beast has left her college bag downstairs so I set about flicking through the notes of whatever gibbery-wanky part time course she was doing. Now very occasionally I get dumb luck and this was one such time as at the back of one of her notebooks was a whole heap of very personal poetry penned by the Beast. I’m not critic but it was fucking shit. So I grabbed a pen and marked it, then placed it all back exactly where I found it. Her best result was a “D+” and a “See me after class”.

Alright so not so much of an accident as entirely intentional reading of someone else’s stuff but I felt they deserved it. Oh and rumour has it someone wanked on her pillow when she was out but I can neither confirm nor deny this rumour.
(i anglepoise, Fri 2 Feb 2007, 10:38, Reply)