Downloading my first porn film.
This happened in the heady days when the reassuring bleep,blub blub....bleeeeeep of your dial tone let you know you were finally connected to the internet. I had heard mention of a site called Kazaa where one could obtain porn videos. Through some miracle of technological development, that ranked possibly only second to the moon landing, you were able to download this video from many different people at once so that the download speed would be like nothing you had seen before. I duly downloaded and installed kazaa and searched for a video with the word 'sex' in the title and I was not disappointed. I clicked on the "download torrent now" button with an earnest glee. I then began to wait, and wait...and wait...and wait...

Now given that the only reason I able to do this was because my girlfriend was out the house I was getting somewhat agitated at the speed of the download - I needed this to be done before she got home. I didn't want this momentous occasion to be ruined, but it was taking ages!

About 3½ hrs after starting the whole procedure the file was finally sitting in my downloads section. I clicked and windows media player spluttered into life as the image of a naked woman appeared across my screen. I noted the video was 2 minutes long which at that point was exactly 2 minutes longer than anything I had ever downloaded before.

About 30 seconds in and things were really hotting up when suddenly the monitor just went dead. Some obscure force had decided that today was not to be the day I was going to watch my first downloaded porn film. I recall the image just disappearing into a vortex of colour in the middle of the screen and finally exiting this world with the brightest ever dot of white light that glimmered ever so slightly brighter just before it went completely black. It was like my first porn download had just died and I had witnessed its trajectory down the tunnel of death.

Ok, stay calm,there's probably a logical explanation to all of this. There's probably been a power failure. A quick glance over to my bedside clock revealed this theory to be unfounded. I turned the PC on again at the front, but nothing. I checked all the fuses in the plugs, I checked all the cables. Everything was fruitless.

After much faffing around and a 30 minute conversation to tech support (my brother) I admitted defeat. I ended up having to buy a new hard drive. My first porn download had been a dismal failure.
(The Archduke of South London I'm in your Girlfriend eating her organs, Thu 26 Jun 2008, 17:51, 1 reply)

Oh
You poor poor man
seriously i feel for you.
No man should ever have porn so cruelly taken away from him
those kids in africa it have it easy compared to that
have a clickles
(Freddles, Sat 28 Jun 2008, 13:01, closed)