21: As requested by swifty.....
At the age of 21 I was always on/off again with the mother of my children and left in an emo state every time we split up no matter who dumped who.
Cue one remorseful drinking sessions with my mates at the pub. One of them was reasonably sober enough to drive us home to get changed into more suitable clothes for the evening ahead*
I got dropped off at home and said I might stay in (emo heartbroken fuck right here) (not that I am a FUCKING EMO!) Any way as I am saying my goodbyes from the passengers side of the car I hear the driver whisper something. Cue another one fo my mates nicking the keys limply hanging out of my pissed right hand. The words "If you want your keys you know where to find us!" coming out of the vehicle that was now rolling up the street (Nice V8 too I must add). Cunts!

I knew that i could climb in through the bathroom window that was above head height as I have done many times before, but decided that I would not in my pissed state and resort to the back flat insead.

The phone rings on the house line. Soon as I hear it I am sure it is the then ex trying to call. I promptly lift off the screen and lift myself up into the window only to realise that I used to keep a couple of my old school double sided razor blades on the window sill.

Result: 2" gash into the palm of my hand. & hour wait at one hospital before getting the shits and going home again. Sewn up the next morning at another hospital with a doctor absoloutely baffled as to how I managed to avoid cutting tendons. (will upload current 8yo scar soon)

*LIES! - He was as pissed as a maggot eating an alcoholics dead flesh.
Edit: It was my mates calling to see if I was coming to the pub. Cunts!
( Sir Pigeon Nipples Did you sit in some sugar?, Fri 21 Dec 2007, 2:43, Reply)