When I was 20
and travelling around Europe, I ended up in Nice for a while.

Met a genuine pirate called Jean-Claude from Marsailles who had the thickest accent ever - French equivalent of Glaswegian. He had a business selling sugar-coated peanuts on the beach and he also had a few foreign lads selling cold drinks from an eski.

Needless to say this was illegal and les flics would swoop down on the Promenade des Anglais to catch these criminals in the act. So, what was my job?

I strolled along the top of the prom, looking like a holiday maker, keeping one eye out for the cops, the other eye assessing the relative merits of the topless beauties below. When the cops turned up, I pretended to have just caught sight of a friend and I'd holler "Oy, John".

In a month, I only ever had to shout it twice.

Nice work if you can get it.
(Che Grimsdale Best before:, Tue 14 Sep 2010, 13:41, 6 replies)

And you can get it if you try! ♫
(epinephrine, Tue 14 Sep 2010, 14:37, closed)

People selling counterfeit goods here did that.
Their lookout was a cunning master of deception though and used to shout "BOBBY!" or "BILL!" -- I'm sure the local police never realised what was going on...
(Me, I'm not... in any way intoxicated, Tue 14 Sep 2010, 17:33, closed)

Pirate? How?
Arrr Jim lad, I've a hook, a wooden leg and suger coated nuts.
( Ring Of Fire A petty, drooling belming butthurt retard., Tue 14 Sep 2010, 18:35, closed)

clearly you weren't reading the subtext in captain pugwash
(quibble, Tue 14 Sep 2010, 21:28, closed)

No, no, no...
It's either

Pirate? Arr!

or

Indian? How?
(Vice Admiral Sir Charles Cockbrush KCB MBE DSO, who is finding it increasingly difficult to log into b3ta.com wants to duck your aunt and kick your puppy, Wed 15 Sep 2010, 9:28, closed)

I feel like such an idiot

( Ring Of Fire A petty, drooling belming butthurt retard., Wed 15 Sep 2010, 13:17, closed)