First Time
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The first time I went to meet an ex's family wasn't a good place to start experimenting.

I spent the whole meal being sniped at by her younger sister, a good-looking wench of about 22. She just wouldn't let me be. For some reason she'd taken an instant dislike of me that bordered on the psychotic.

Now I'm a peaceful kind of chap. Live and let live is my motto but I do have points where it's really unwise to push me beyond. 'Cos then I push back.

So after one more smarmy dig I let loose the Kraken.

"So, Legless, do you not think that the age difference between you and sis might be a problem? Do you not think it'll be a bit of a handicap?" - (I was 5 years older than my ex)


"No more than anyone else who has to work with a handicap Spock. I thought that Vulcan/Human children were the realm of fantasy 'til I saw you. Do you have to wear weights in your pockets during high winds to stop you taking off?"

And I was off one one. Imagine the scene in Roxanne where Steve Martin tells a hundred 'nose' jokes in 5 minutes. It was similar to that except it was ears. Eventually she threw a glass of wine over me and legged it to the ladies rooms.

In my defence, I'd put up with two hours of digs while her family just laughed at her witty sallies.

But, to be honest, perhaps I should have kept my mouth shut. It's not a good way to win friends and influence people.

Dad had had enough. He called for the bill, waved away my attempts to pay for it, and the lot of them headed for the door - including my now ex-girlfriend.

"Wait! Wait!" I shouted. Dad turned round.

"Don't you think you should get wing-nut from the toilets before you leave?"

Like I said, as experiments go, it was some sort of success. I now know that, even if someone is being intolerably rude, if you fight back, families will always stick together.

Ah well. You live and learn.

Cheers
( Legless Mister Stabby - shanks for the memory, Thu 24 Jul 2008, 14:39, 3 replies)

Life lessons to be learnt
She sounds like a real harpy, so I think the shunning by the family is a worthwhile cost to give her a bit of a slating. Well done anyway!
(LordMatthius http://www.justgiving.com/marathon-matt2009, Thu 24 Jul 2008, 14:58, closed)

rofl.
Props to the use of your obviously well-equipped balls, sounded like she deserved it :D
(ladyflash Formally known as "oshi_", Thu 24 Jul 2008, 16:00, closed)

Applauds.

*click*
( snee held his breath since, Fri 25 Jul 2008, 9:37, closed)