Maladicta + driving tests = just don't.
I'm relieved to see it's not just me who's bollocksed up their driving test as many times as I have. To date I've taken it three times, my theory has now expired and I can't be arsed any more.

Anyway, I was put in for my first test after about 20 lessons, way way before I should have been. I got something like 26 minors, 4 majors, and ruined my instructor's hubcap by scraping it against the kerb trying to parallel park.

The second time, I waited a year and drove practically everywhere I could. The waiting list at the time was 16 weeks so I had plenty of time to practice and conquer the one thing that was still holding me back. Being a small girly, I find it stupidly difficult to reverse around a corner, as to look back I have to twist in my seat, my foot comes off the clutch and the car shoots backwards and/or stalls. Great.

Anyway, on my second test (where the examiner looked like Shadrach from Emmerdale), I got given a nice parallel park, and then he took me off to reverse around a corner. Fuck. Having been yelled at by my instructor in the lesson beforehand (the same man who told me to run over a pheasant - see Road Rage) about going too wide, I decided to pull the car in as far as I could without hitting the kerb.

Bump.

On the third attempt about six months later, I got given the same route, and yes, the same corner. This examiner was a miserable git who looked like Charles Hawtrey, and remembering what happened last time, I pulled the car out a little wider. Way too wide this time, apparently, as he replied to my suggestion that I straighten up a bit with "I don't thnk you'll gain anything from that,".

The homicidal urges when someone smugly tells me they passed first time are subsiding these days.
( Maladicta, Sun 7 Jan 2007, 13:34, Reply)