Faking it? I'm a master.
I'm one of those odd people who doesn't hide much. Every idiotic thing I've ever done is promptly reported to my hooting, jeering friends for them to laugh about.

But there is one thing that I'm hiding. I've gotten away with it so far but I'm bound to be found out eventually.

Nearly thirty-one years on this planet and I do not have the first idea what I'm doing, where I'm headed or how to get there. I've had a vague idea for most of my life that I want to do something arty for a living, but apart from that, nothing. All of my friends, some of them a good ten years my junior, all have drive and direction. Everyone my age has good jobs and families of their own..... I was on that path a few years back too, but all of a sudden the arse fell out of my world and I've been staggering around from meaningless job to meaningless job and pathetic relationship to pathetic relationship ever since.

Outwardly, I pretend it doesn't bother me and I'm happy to wait for whatever life throws at me next, like a twig on a mighty stream. But inside, I'm shitting myself. At best estimates, I'm at least a third of the way through my life and I've got nowhere!

None of the real people have spotted me yet though. I stand amongst them in the pub as they discuss work and their bloody whingeing other halves and I tut and roll my eyes like I know just how they feel. One day they'll rumble me, I just know it.
( baw__bag contains traces of nuts on, Sun 13 Jul 2008, 22:24, 9 replies)

Have you considered
that your friends may be going through the exact same motions?
(wing_cmdr I mean not real, but almost a real hologram, Mon 14 Jul 2008, 0:18, closed)

wing_cmdr
makes a good point. I'm well into my 33rd year on this planet and still pretty far from knowing what I want to do "when I grow up".

Just keep on faking it, chances are no one will call you up on it for fear of being exposed themselves.
( Moey, Mon 14 Jul 2008, 9:24, closed)

Join the club and meet the president.
I'm 43 and still winging it.
( girlinthehole, Mon 14 Jul 2008, 10:09, closed)

Join
the club of the damned, i think a lot more people are going through this than you know. I am in the spot myself and have been looking around for groups such as life fuck ups anonymous.
( Trollman, Mon 14 Jul 2008, 11:16, closed)

Sorry BGB
50 years and counting!
Not only do I not know what I want to do when I grow up, I don't actually think I want to grow up any more.
(misspiggy In danger of having to get a job, Mon 14 Jul 2008, 13:04, closed)

I can always trust b3ta
to make me feel better :) I suspect many of my friends are secretly papping their undies too but their sham lives are far more successful than mine. I'm going back to college in august for a film & animation course in a last ditch attempt at finding something I enjoy. Anythings better than the hollow trudge between weekends I have now!
( baw__bag contains traces of nuts on, Mon 14 Jul 2008, 14:11, closed)

Welcome, or maybe not...
There's this messy quote along the lines of "he who knows that he knows not" etc. Perhaps you've rumbled yourself? It's really OK to admit that you've come to a realisation that no-one ever properly grows up, ever. :-)
(dadadali has hybrid vigour, Mon 14 Jul 2008, 14:22, closed)

My mum quit a 25 year job she hated
when she was 45. She went back to college, retrained, and is finally happy.
( Madam Marlboro wonders if you've found her yet, Mon 14 Jul 2008, 15:13, closed)

I do know I'll NEVER be a grown up :P
If I can manage to get myself somewhere, doing something I like and being with someone who can stand my presence, I'll feel like I've made it :D

The sights have dropped somewhat over the last 4 years :P
( baw__bag contains traces of nuts on, Mon 14 Jul 2008, 17:00, closed)