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This is a question * PFFT *

I've been pretty farty all week, but 2 large helpings of sausage and lentil stew last night have really tipped things over the edge. I swear you can see these ones.

I'm here at work trying to hold them in so I (a) don't have to keep nipping to the loo like a madman and (b) don't gas half the office, but it's becoming increasingly difficult. I might rupture something if I'm not careful.

Tell us all about your own fartiness.

(, Fri 13 Jul 2007, 14:01)
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bigger, longer and uncut
The second time I ever had sex, it was on a dope-fuelled all-nighter which later involved a threesome with the coke fiend who rented the apartment (hoorah!).

The apartment was one-room, it was late winter and there was very little space for all seven of us stoners, so myself and Mr. BLU hid under the doona of the bed. Given the green fog in the room, the stoners failed to notice us getting increasingly naked. However, eventually this information penetrated their befugged brains and they were kind enough to go for a walk.

Yay! I'd never actually seen an adult male erection before (the previous incident of sex was in the dark with an underendowed troglodyte), and this was... unprecedented. (And also unpostcedented - I've certainly never seen anything like it since.) It was frickin' massive. I didn't try to put it in my mouth because I knew without trying that it wouldn't fit. It was seriously about two-and-a-half penises wide. Length? Who fucking cares???!

How is this relevant to farting you ask... because when we got down to it, after stuffing it in with a crowbar, a large pocket of air must have become stuck inside. As a result, when he pulled out, my fanny let out this huge rippling PARRRRRRRRRRRRPPPPPPPPPP!!!! Yipe!

The rest will have to wait until QOTW guy chooses boshalake's question...
(, Mon 16 Jul 2007, 10:43, Reply)

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