* PFFT *I've been pretty farty all week, but 2 large helpings of sausage and lentil stew last night have really tipped things over the edge. I swear you can see these ones.
I'm here at work trying to hold them in so I (a) don't have to keep nipping to the loo like a madman and (b) don't gas half the office, but it's becoming increasingly difficult. I might rupture something if I'm not careful.
Tell us all about your own fartiness.
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chthonic, Fri 13 Jul 2007, 14:01)
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Coach farty.A couple of years ago, on a coach in Corfu, I positioned myself in a lovely window seat just behind the stairwell to the door by the rear wheel arch. Having indulged in a wonderful beery holiday I was silently farting away merrily, positively savouring the foul stench that lingered around me.
Soon enough the bus stopped to pick up passengers and the doors opened with a whoosh and a strong waft of warm Corfiot air, which blasted my minging cloud away further into the bus. Well, I was half pleased/half miffed that my previous work had been banished, but within a very short space of time I could hear an English voice from a couple of rows back, obviously getting some serious grief from the wife:
“What? It wasn’t me! I swear, it wasn’t me!”
I obviously curled up in the seat and nearly wet myself trying to stifle the laughs as the accusatory hissing continued and the poor chap took the blame for my mis-deeds. Looking across the aisle, I saw a little Greek child, about 10, who didn’t say anything, she just gave me the most withering look of disgust and turned away. She knew.
That was the moment I realised the fart truly is the only international language and I am a cunning linguist.
(, Mon 16 Jul 2007, 11:26, Reply)
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