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This is a question * PFFT *

I've been pretty farty all week, but 2 large helpings of sausage and lentil stew last night have really tipped things over the edge. I swear you can see these ones.

I'm here at work trying to hold them in so I (a) don't have to keep nipping to the loo like a madman and (b) don't gas half the office, but it's becoming increasingly difficult. I might rupture something if I'm not careful.

Tell us all about your own fartiness.

(, Fri 13 Jul 2007, 14:01)
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I was at Loch Lomond.....
....yesterday for the final round of the Scottish Open. We were standing at the 17th green just as the players were on their way after teeing off. There was quite a crowd and therefore not a great flow of air between bodies. All of a sudden, as Phil was preparing to sink that cracking 15ft putt for birdie, my nasal passages were infiltrated by the most pure and vile arse particals i've ever encountered. There was nothing in the way of a warning. The culprit, obviously a keen golf fan, had rather thoughtfully let go as quietly as possible so as not to disturb Mr Mickelson. His plan almost backfired though as i was close to gagging! Everyone around me seemed not to notice, probably trying to avoid the embarrassment of "smelt it dealt it".* Due to lack of airflow it lingered for what seemed like minutes. It was like ingesting raw sewage! Anyway, I think someone must have needed a new pair of shorts as a result. Utterly awful!

On second thoughts, it could have just been the stench of the way Mickelson played the last 5 holes?*

*probably not really.
(, Mon 16 Jul 2007, 18:32, Reply)

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