Flirt fail

It happened one Saturday last autumn. I'd arranged to meet Mrs G in the Starbucks inside Borders in York. She'd been doing some shopping and we were going to do a bit more shopping after coffee, then go home. I got there first and was going to get the drinks and find a table. There was a bit of a queue and a couple of places in front of me were four girls, about 18 or 19 years old. It sounded like they were hoping to enter the regional finals for the four-girl chatting championships. One of them though, was the prettiest girl I had seen in a long time; a very long time. She was wearing those leggings that look like very opaque tights and leave bugger all to the imagination, and because her top was barely waist long, I could see that she had, in my books, a perfect bum (and I'm talking those books which leave you a bit hot under the collar and have plenty of illustrations).

Now, normally, I try to behave like a gentleman. I may wistfully admire a pretty girl, but I try not to perve or leer, both because I don't like to think of myself as a letch, but also, I don't like to make girls feel uncomfortable. This time though, the girl caught my eye and in that second, I saw that flash that made her look like startled doe or a bunny in the headlights. I could feel her begin to blush. She quickly turned back to talk to her friends who were, luckily unaware of the frisson in the air. I tried not to glance at her bum too often and was glad that when Mrs G turned up, I was facing the entrance of the coffee shop. We got a coffee, sat down and chatted, I made sure that I wasn't facing the group of girls.

They left before us and, behind Mrs G's back, I took a last, brief glimpse at the departing girl's rear view. She turned just before they disappeared and again caught my eye. We drank up and left, drifting around the shops with all the other Saturday couples. But the story doesn't end there, three more times that afternoon, our paths crossed - they were drifting through town in the same direction and at the same speed as us. Now there is nothing in this world more likely to put me in the doghouse, than to be caught by Mrs G ogling a girl young enough to be our daughter, so I was very careful not to even glance in the direction of this group again, although I was painfully aware of their presence and could feel the girl's eyes on me. It would have been bad enough for me to appear a perve, but if we'd been clocked exchanging a glance...well, it doesn't bear thinking about.

Finally, we headed home, and who should be walking along, in the same direction, not 20 feet ahead of us? Have you ever tried to NOT look at a girl's bum when she's that far in front of you, and yet not appear to be 'not looking', which would imply that you were very well aware of it and so deliberately 'not looking' as you knew you'd be in trouble if found out? It's not easy.

Now, don't get me wrong. I'm not looking to have a fling with 19 year old beauty (so not much point gazing me girls). I'm fairly happy with many aspects of my life, and I certainly don't want to upset Mrs G, because she's a diamond... But, if I'd been on my own that day, I could have engaged in some more Stage One Flirting - i.e. eye catching and sharing of visual signals that would mean that, in a parallel universe somewhere, the two of us could have spent two weeks locked in a luxury flat somewhere, while I introduced her to the intricacies of love-making, and she could abandon all teenage angst and self-consciousness to discover what it means to be truly loved by a mature man.

Don't you just sometimes wish that YOU lived in that parallel universe?
(Che Grimsdale Best before:, Mon 22 Feb 2010, 14:33, 5 replies)

Not really
- I'd have probably ended up with her munter of a mate. :-/
(Reverend Fister "a disciplined fuckwit", Mon 22 Feb 2010, 14:37, closed)

It's spelled gazzing, I think.
Although gazing would probably work just as well, given the context.
(WillI'mNot logs in twice a year, every year, Mon 22 Feb 2010, 17:30, closed)

Parallel Universes
Check out the writings of Hugh Everett III, the late father of Mark Everett, head honcho of Eels. He was the guy that first put forward the theory of parallel universes.

But I'm not sure if there's a chapter on perfect arses!
( The Lone Groover has mal des nuts., Mon 22 Feb 2010, 19:02, closed)

Hi fives
Like minded fellow
(Deskbound You insignificant speck of dust, Mon 22 Feb 2010, 19:37, closed)

I snorted my drink at this part
'and I'm talking those books which leave you a bit hot under the collar and have plenty of illustrations'

clickness - for I like those books too!
(chocmonster Failed to come up with a witty signature by, Tue 23 Feb 2010, 6:26, closed)