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My pal inspects factories for a living, and I shall take his expert advice to the grave: "Never eat the meat pies". Tell us the best advice you've ever received.

(, Thu 20 May 2010, 12:54)
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It doesn't cost too much
To pay extra for a private room in hospital, save for it now, you'll need the rest when the time comes. Otherwise you'll be sharing your life for a week with 5 old guys with various stages of emphasyemia and one chap who ripps out a fart every 5 mins.
(, Mon 24 May 2010, 21:01, 8 replies)
You'll soon be turfed out of that room if someone that actually has a clinical need for it.
Save your pennies and spend it on booze.
(, Mon 24 May 2010, 21:08, closed)
this is true.
Although he has described exactly what a shared room is like.
(, Mon 24 May 2010, 21:11, closed)
Or get something suspectly highly contagious
And you get a room to yourself anyway.

Downside you get no visitors and have no idea what the medical staff look like because they are all masked up
(, Mon 24 May 2010, 21:58, closed)
Top tip: look at the ID badges.

(, Mon 24 May 2010, 22:08, closed)
When you cant see through the sweat running into your eyes
And are secreting various bodily fluids from every orifice.
Focussing on ID badges is the last thing you think of, and in no way would help you know what they looked like anyway :p
(, Mon 24 May 2010, 22:14, closed)
Or, you know, ask them to hold them up for you.

(, Tue 25 May 2010, 7:01, closed)

...Or the mental case in the next bed, who won't stop wittering all day and night about how he's "sorry, and it's not my fault, I didn't do it!" [what the hell was he doing on a Gastro-Intestinal ward?]

...Or the bloke who's lost control of his anal sphincter due to being nil-by-mouth for five days[*]

[*] No, erm, hang on - that was me....7 Days on Morphine was nice though, it's the only upside to a case of acute pancreatitis...
(, Tue 25 May 2010, 9:52, closed)
I fucking hate other people
I wish they would all die... away from me so I can be better than everyone in peace!
(, Tue 25 May 2010, 10:21, closed)

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