Funny and sad.
When I was little I was the apple of my grans eye. We spent loads of time together and she spoiled me rotten, like all good grandmothers do. Unfortunately she suffered a couple of strokes when I was in my late teens and her mental state deteriorated rapidly.

At the stage where she
was beginning to need full time residential care it was tough on my mum, having to juggle caring for gran with work and family. So one night we get a call about 1am to say she can't get her slippers on. She sounds a bit upset so I volunteer to go, letting mum have a rest. What I found there was the most unpleasant thing I have ever witnessed. My beloved gran was sitting on the end of her bed, buck naked and smeared in shit. There was shit all over the bed, the floor, the walls etc. "fuck this" thinks I and I went to call for backup. It was then I realised that the shitstorm happened before she called. Yes, the phone was smeared in goopy brown matter too (no mobile either back then). I had to use it, two finger stylee and strain to hear while holding it both as far as I could manage and as close as I dared.

The only thing that sickens of more is that according to the internets, that would be some sick puppy's wet-dream.

Length? The longest 30 second call of my life.
(Greencloud Wanted to go fishing on, Fri 3 Jun 2011, 11:35, 2 replies)

Bless you
For going.. I hope I have rellies like that, when/if the time comes..
(Beer Elf Thought this was like a campfire, anyhow, on, Fri 3 Jun 2011, 22:42, closed)

best to do a test run now to check.
( enoughblueskyforsailorstrousers, Fri 3 Jun 2011, 23:46, closed)