I'm not proud of this one.
A few years ago, I was in A Bad Place. I was staying at my folk's place after being kicked out of my house a year earlier, I was mentally fucked and drinking heavily to escape my demons. The following is an account of something I did which I think qualifies me for hell, and I'm completely open to criticism for it.

The month was October. Summer had managed to drag its heels and the leaves were just starting to turn brown on the trees.

Not that I was really paying that much attention. I was professionally sticking to my daily routine: work, pub, beer, food, TV, bed, hangover... repeat daily.

The day previous to our story, I'd noticed our neighbour's car hadn't moved for a few days, and the curtains remained open despite the earlier sunsets. They were a nice family - mum and dad in their mid thirties, two kids toward the end of primary school. They kept themselves to themselves and we didn't really have much contact.

I'd guessed they were on holiday from the continued lack of activity in the house, and made a mental note to keep an eye on the place for them.

This particular evening, I was on my sixth pint of Stella before dinner and my stomach told me it was time for something a bit more solid. So I bid my farewells and staggered the hundred metres to my parent's house.

Six pints of wife beater doesn't sound like much, but I pride myself on being a cheap date and, on an empty stomach, it had worked its hazy magic, and I was feeling somewhat cheeky. So I did what felt completely natural and suitably mischievous at the moment I arrived at my front door.

I climbed next door's fence and broke into their house.

After spending fifteen minutes snooping through the cupboards and drawers to see what wonders awaited my alcohol-fuelled light fingers, I came across the study which had a nice shiny computer, a laptop and a vast collection of computer games, all boxed, for gamers of all ages.

Faced with this situation, what do you think I decided to pilfer?

I stole two Barbie computer games, and made quick my escape.
( Noeli overtheshoulderboulderholderthingstraplatchboobs, Thu 18 Dec 2008, 10:41, 7 replies)

I was expecting
you to say you'd had a dump in their sink or something.

Or perhaps found them all dead!
( K2k6 has a proper job these days, Thu 18 Dec 2008, 11:10, closed)

That might have made for a more interesting story
:)
( Noeli overtheshoulderboulderholderthingstraplatchboobs, Thu 18 Dec 2008, 11:23, closed)

I was rather expecting you to say
that you found them dead or took a dump in their wardrobe or something too!

I did a similar thing, by giving my neighbours house keys (they were on honey moon and entrusted me to look after their pad) to my other neighbours 'bad boy' son....he had parties drank all their drinks ate their food, and burn't their carpet, shagged in their bed etc etc then gave me the keys back and expected me to face the music for him.

I grassed on him cos i was only about 10 and he was 15. That wasn't the best idea.
(iwantmybed Is counting down the hours till home time on, Thu 18 Dec 2008, 12:03, closed)

At least you had the keys.
I smashed a window :(
( Noeli overtheshoulderboulderholderthingstraplatchboobs, Thu 18 Dec 2008, 12:06, closed)

That.....
Is pure genius!! I like it. I guess you would be least suspected being the neighbour too! hahahaha
(iwantmybed Is counting down the hours till home time on, Thu 18 Dec 2008, 12:19, closed)

Possibly.
Although I'd had no run-ins with the law previous to that, and despite my drunken demeanor I was 'careful' so nothing ever came of it. Thank fuck.

Nothing, that is, except them moving house six months later.
( Noeli overtheshoulderboulderholderthingstraplatchboobs, Thu 18 Dec 2008, 12:50, closed)

Forgot to say have a
click!!
(iwantmybed Is counting down the hours till home time on, Thu 18 Dec 2008, 12:20, closed)