One thing that's always slightly annoyed me
is when people say there's something wrong with their computer (for instance, it won't connect to the internet, or Windows keeps crashing) and then say "I think it needs a defrag, innit?"

No, it doesn't fucking need a defrag. A "defrag", despite sounding like something really intelligent, just means that the files on your disk will be reorganized. Possibly useful if you have noticed that your hard disk is slow accessing files, but it won't fix any old random problem with your computer.

It annoys me. Grr.
(Flap Burger hasn't really got a burger made of flaps, Mon 28 Sep 2009, 8:42, 8 replies)

ha ha
A bloke I worked with swore that you needed to defrag at least once a week.
(Captain Spacker I lick windows, Mon 28 Sep 2009, 9:24, closed)

However
The good thing about users who want a defrag is that it gets them out of your hair for a couple of hours while the defrag runs so you can have a ponder about what really needs to be done. Or surf the internet for porn, depending.
(richardm, Mon 28 Sep 2009, 10:49, closed)

I have NEVER defragged my computer
Everything is stored on external drives anyway. It amuses me the amount of calls I get where people say "I've defragged it but its still slow"

Argghghghghgh stop downloading "warez!"
( Peej, Mon 28 Sep 2009, 10:55, closed)

I remember the days
of regular defrags and reformats. I honestly don't know why; maybe our PC needed it back then. It sure as hell did when we got Windows ME, which degraded constantly to a completely unworkable state over the course of a few months. We got shot of that as soon as XP had a couple of service packs to its name.
( Doctor Fruitbat wishes fruitbats could really be doctors, Mon 28 Sep 2009, 11:16, closed)

However.....
....when XP was release (pre-SPs), their own website recommended reformatting and starting again every 6 months for an 'average' user!

Personally though, I've never 'defragged' my machine, but then I use ext3.
(dchurch bah, Mon 28 Sep 2009, 12:55, closed)

I've got scheduled defrags.
Then I never need to think about it again.
(Scritty Bakerman., Mon 28 Sep 2009, 12:57, closed)