Don't use the flannel
Before I went mental and married my ex-husband he lived in a flat with a jolly nice chap called Barry. Barry had a girlfriend, who was, to put it mildly. AWFUL. Let's call her Sally. This girl wore so much make up that if you got close enough to her, you could SMELL it. Furthermore, she was an absolute slapper, so much so that if you got close enough to her, you could SMELL it.

Anyway, I won't bore you all with the story concerning a Wetherspoons pub booth, fixed smiles, and an inappropriate blow job. This tale concerns Sally and the flannel.

So, one Saturday morning. My ex and I are hanging round the flat, indulging in the odd bit of muffled sex and dope. (*misty eyes*) When there's a sudden knock on the bedroom door. Ex ambles over, wearing just a pair of boxers and standing in the doorway are Barry and Sally. I started pulling on the Ex's shirt under the duvet and peeked out.

Sally: "Oooh, haven't you got a LOVELY body?"
Ex: "Erm...did you want something?"
Sally: "*snort* yeah! I'd love SOMETHING off you"
Me: "oh, for FUCK'S SAKE"
Sally: "Look Barry, that's what a real man looks like...Why can't you look like that?"
Me: "Piss off Sally"
Ex: "Did you want something Barry?"
Barry: "Yeah, I just wanted to let you know not to use the green flannel in the bathroom, Sally's got thrush"

*agog*
Why? Why tell us that? WHY? As if one of us is going to use someone else’s flannel.

Sally: "I just wanted to let you know, that when you and my_cat are having sex, I can hear it and it turns me on"

WHAT? Why say it? WHY?

I was so relieved when Ex moved out and we didn't have to see that weird shameless girl on a daily basis. Poor Barry, poor stupid Barry ended up marrying her (why..WHY?) and she fucked with his head (and all his mates from what I heard) for a few years before running off with another woman, shaving her head and finding Jesus. Mental.
( my_cat_has_no_shoes meh meh meh MEH MEH, Fri 27 Feb 2009, 10:40, 3 replies)

OK
Now tell us the Wetherspoons story......
(Rsoles, Fri 27 Feb 2009, 14:42, closed)

^
this!
(tweebianmonkey Should be known as Widget, Sun 1 Mar 2009, 18:28, closed)

"when you and my_cat are having sex"
you have entirely the wrong username for that context
(bblgoose, Fri 27 Feb 2009, 18:28, closed)