House sword!
When you first moved into a rented house
what did you get first? Ikea plates? a tesco value kettle? a selection of road signs?.

Not my flatmate, first day in he immediately clocked what he needed and when straight to the local gun shop and got a kantanna sword.

Foolish? not really not only is a great conversation starter, for instance everyone was talking about the time another flatmate ran off with it in order to join in a street fight(see my other posts)

Also the neighbors borrowed it so they could threaten to cut the offending parts off their sex pest/nudist flatmate.

Do you have a house sword?
( willenium Fist bump for verification, Sun 1 Mar 2009, 16:14, 24 replies)

I do
Three in fact. Very handy when scaring burglars away :)
( fuck shit up the best you never had, Sun 1 Mar 2009, 16:19, closed)

The sword came from "duncan's"
Hull's premier gun shop. The owner 'Duncan' is a grizzled scary badass who lives for guns, knives and crossbows. He would scare any burglar and I have him marked down as the first person to go to for help in the event of a zombie apocalypse
( willenium Fist bump for verification, Sun 1 Mar 2009, 16:26, closed)

Several
Also spears, shields, seaxes, helmets and occasional a Dane-axe.

We are the Dark-Age re-enactors who live in the attic.
(HaHa!Snakes! was last seen on, Sun 1 Mar 2009, 16:36, closed)

No, but thinking about it, I'd like one.
A pair of crossed katanas (or, even just the one) would be very cool above the bed. We'd be pretty fucked if they fell, however.
( Bats, Sun 1 Mar 2009, 16:37, closed)

Futurama
did it!
(Angie the Redneck Wonder, Mon 2 Mar 2009, 9:01, closed)

Unfortunately
humans don't find swords up spines very enjoyable, no matter how flexible they are.
( uberdeity Wondered why Owen Lars knew of the term "hell" on, Mon 2 Mar 2009, 9:04, closed)

tbh
all that house sword business really winds me up.

A friend of mine living in his first flat after uni. lived above some lowlife pyscho type who took it upon himself to attack my mates father with one when he came to visit. luckily not a fully sharpened one so it only cut his arm to the bone instead of removing said arm.

I believe there was some talk about banning/licensing the sale Samurai swords etc. In an ideal world the licensing should go like this (simmilar for handguns)
'do you want one?'
'Yes'
'The you can't have one because you are obviously unhinged!'

Broadswords however no problem, you don't hear of people running around the streets attacking MP's and others with those nearly as often.
('tin'tintin, Sun 1 Mar 2009, 17:06, closed)

You may have point
Apparently the swords owner used to have a bedtime ritual that required him to dress up like a super hero and patrol the house with the sword. "to ensure the house is safe every night"
( willenium Fist bump for verification, Sun 1 Mar 2009, 17:36, closed)

I do
- I sleep a lot better in the knowledge that there's 4 foot of sharp steel within arms reach.

I reckon that being confronted with a fat, angry, naked man is a burglar's worst fear ... That and Tony Martin but you get the idea.
(SpunkyMcSpunkbubble Diddled your nubbin on, Sun 1 Mar 2009, 18:13, closed)

Yes I do!
I have four :-)
(cherrygloom could kick your ass at Guitar Hero any day, Sun 1 Mar 2009, 19:33, closed)

yes, 2...
A teardrop blade dungeons ad dragons type thing and a replica of the one Morpheus has in the Matrix. The latter used in a new version of baseball - the sword is the bat and apples, oranges, potatos etc are subbed for the ball. Great wholesome fun!
(dampwookie failing to understand everything from birth up to, Sun 1 Mar 2009, 20:28, closed)

For some reason they've banned swords in uni halls of residence
They have to be left with the warder if they're for martial arts purposes.

The wardens are more unhinged than we are.

Next year, however...



Edit: Just noticed the spelling mistake. It seems oddly appropriate though.
( MatJ LOOK, Sun 1 Mar 2009, 23:43, closed)

A few years back some one commited harai kari
with a sword in one of the halls at my uni.
( willenium Fist bump for verification, Mon 2 Mar 2009, 9:37, closed)

Well
When we moved in, I looked in the cupboard under the stairs. We, as it turned out, have a House Scythe. Rusty, grim reaper stylee, sharp as hell scythe.

Better reach than a sword.

*Considers posting*
(Foxinsockssir, Mon 2 Mar 2009, 0:51, closed)

Oooh!
I had one of those in a house, found it in the garage of a house which had been a uni den so long that it had a veritably giant collage of 70's Playboy nudie clippings taking up an entire wall of said garage.

We were lazy, poor and stoned enough to have a swipe at the lawn with it every once in a while so that we never had to mow it. It didn't make much of an impression, and the grass was eventually over five feet tall with a couple of escapee guinea pigs living amongst it (ergo, we couldn't mow *or* scythe!).

Happy days.
(Angie the Redneck Wonder, Mon 2 Mar 2009, 9:03, closed)

I have a lovely
bayonet from 1917, and a rather nice four foot Austrian ice axe that belonged to my grandfather :D
(thebdaman hmmm....., Mon 2 Mar 2009, 1:01, closed)

I have a WW1 shell casing
there is a date stamp of 12-1-16 on the bottom

I cant help but wonder if it was fired at the somme
( willenium Fist bump for verification, Mon 2 Mar 2009, 9:39, closed)

I've got a 4 foot straight sword
Very shiny. I keep it in the gun closet with my .22 and my 12 gauge.

Tecnically the sword is a costume piece, and the guns are ostensibly for hunting and target practice only, but the sword is fantastically sharp and the gun closet is in my bedroom. I don't even get up for a piss in the night without it.
(Helixdaunting, Mon 2 Mar 2009, 2:45, closed)

Nice
I have a Katana and a Wakazashi set that was a gift from my Japanese in-laws. They were hand made in Kyoto by some sort of Japanese master blacksmith. All I know is that the last time I had them out to play with them I cut the lampshade in half by mistake so now I am banned from touching them.

They are *razor sharp*.
(powervator and NONE SHALL PASS, Mon 2 Mar 2009, 9:33, closed)

I have got...
2 wooden practice swords

A Roman short sword (Napoleonic, he used to give replicas to his generals, apparently)

A double-headed mace

A spring-loaded "Life Preserver" (i.e. a naval cosh, used to 'persuade' people to join up in the early 1800's)
(JohabMorelli is spenging merrily away, Mon 2 Mar 2009, 10:21, closed)

I have an old cavalry sabre
I inherited it a couple of years ago. I keep it in a cupboard for close encounters (although it's blunter than a badgers bum).
( Colonel Dracula Two manky hookers and a racist dwarf, Mon 2 Mar 2009, 14:28, closed)

My pork sword...
...is not very straight and burglars laugh when they see it.
(emadex thinks the world will end on, Mon 2 Mar 2009, 16:47, closed)

A plastic one. On top of the boyfriend's wardrobe.
It's left over from when he went to a Halloween party as Sephiroth years ago, and isn't that convincing.

I used to keep my old hockey stick next to the bed, but I think some thieving cunt at school must have nicked it.
( Maladicta, Mon 2 Mar 2009, 19:30, closed)

Perhaps worryingly
More than I can conveniently count on my hands and feet.

Both myself and the other half have amassed a large collection over the years. I've got a few katana, the odd broadsword and a bow complete with arrows. Mr Kitimariana has taken it one step further and has forged his own arsenal.

At least we sleep safe at night knowing that if zombies attack, we are well defended.
(Kitimariana, Tue 3 Mar 2009, 16:17, closed)