Women who have the nerve to complain about spending habbits
They'll gladly fork out £200 for a handbag, yet complain when us guys buy a playstation. Plus we only ever buy one playstation. Show me a woman with a handbag collection totalling less than 12 and I'll eat a small pony.
(brain_carnage_self, Sat 2 Apr 2005, 21:37, Reply)

Dancing
Or more specifically, watching it.

I can understand people liking the music, the show, the atmosphere, whatever, but I just don't get why people like to watch disco dancing, ballroom dancing, or some such.
And Dance Fever, or whatever they call it. Reality TV and dancing. Why?
(OldProgie, Sat 2 Apr 2005, 21:31, Reply)

confusment
zacherynuk, i agree totally with your answer. i dont understand the order of this board either. also, men. what is wrong with you? You all seem to be totally incapable of making decisions. Then again, i hear women are just as bad...
(fishforkbuggery, Sat 2 Apr 2005, 21:31, Reply)

People who go to church, mosques, temples etc to prey
Surely if god is everywhere you can prey in a darkened meat lorry and he hears........ right?
(brain_carnage_self, Sat 2 Apr 2005, 21:31, Reply)

well,
there is this kid in my class who tells reeeeeeely long jokes. When they go over a minute (thy uually do) i tune out. i come back when everybodey is laughing so i just start laughing and when he asks if i get it, i say yes because if i don't he'll tell it all over again and then i tune out again, etc.

excuse my typing i have the hiuccups.
( Killerkitti Like my coffee black, just like my metal, Sat 2 Apr 2005, 21:31, Reply)

Another one
I find it difficult to imagine the infinite size of the universe.
if i try to picture it, my head starts feeling odd.
(Slurpy The Frog, Sat 2 Apr 2005, 21:30, Reply)

Sorry? hold on one second
why people only try to talk to me as soon as I put my headphones on.
(brain_carnage_self, Sat 2 Apr 2005, 21:28, Reply)

The new "Littlest Pet Shop" toys.
the old ones were crappy cutesy wootsey animal toys, this i have no problem with.
The new ones JUST LOOK DEFORMED. WHY!?
why make toys that look like they have severe progeria?
they give me nightmares.
anyone who doesnt know what i mean, try
images.amazon.com/images/P/B0002VO46I.01.LZZZZZZZ.jpg
(Slurpy The Frog, Sat 2 Apr 2005, 21:27, Reply)

Large dangly earrings
Oh come on now! Tell me whats remotely attractive about them!

Also... hooded chavs who stand at bus stops and never actually get on a bus
(brain_carnage_self, Sat 2 Apr 2005, 21:24, Reply)

Why is it
that old people always have to shop when everyone else does. Surely they have all the time in the world to go shopping. Maybe they enjoy pissing people off by fumbling with money at the front of huge queue.
( Green Spanner and his magical lack of activity, Sat 2 Apr 2005, 21:21, Reply)

American cheese
Well... Americans who think American cheese is something to drool over. Face it your cheese resembles the dead skin scraped off the feet of a 90 year old woman and left overnight to marinade in toss.
(brain_carnage_self, Sat 2 Apr 2005, 21:20, Reply)

Fat people who think it's okay to insult thin people
Weight descrimination is a bad thing no matter which end of the scale the target is at right?
(brain_carnage_self, Sat 2 Apr 2005, 21:17, Reply)

People who actually choose to become muslims
I think that says enough
(brain_carnage_self, Sat 2 Apr 2005, 21:13, Reply)

CDC
it took me 3 months to work out what CDC means and why badly drawn " knobs'n'spunk " kept being posted.

I am now looking for an oportunity of my own to brandish a CDC bandwaggon type thingy
( Fire & Forget it's the only way to be sure, Sat 2 Apr 2005, 20:44, Reply)

moleste
What does it mean?
or... what did you type in for the filter to print "moleste"?

I dont appear to be subjet to a f**king filter.

(Sorry if this went out un-filtered)

edit. Eek, it did! I have cleaned it up. Sorry again!
( Fire & Forget it's the only way to be sure, Sat 2 Apr 2005, 20:38, Reply)

Macromedia Flash
I'm missing something utterly fundamental here, because I can just about manage the basics - drawing stuff - and beyond that I'm completely lost. It just seems so... illogical!
( Biggus Dickus , it was like that when I found it, Sat 2 Apr 2005, 20:33, Reply)

The ordering of these boards
Righto, I've been lurkin' for years, so here goes.

How do these boards work? They seem to be back to front AND upside down. Meaning, to get to the start I have to click through to (1) AND THEN scroll down? Madness.

My mind works from left to right / top to bottom. So reading these pages actually hurts. It brainaly hurts.

Also, after reading all the tom-foolery (backwards) I have the option to click LATEST. What does LATEST give me? A seemingly random selection of the previously read posts. Eh? To use a recently learned TLA – WTF?

I must be thick. But I simply try and get on with it, regardless of the devastating mental consequences.

Also, Women (obviously) – they often boast about their higher pain threshold enabling them to give birth etc. So how come they cry when we shout at them? … If only they would do as they were told…

Finally - and this took me a while - I think I'm there now...

"There are 10 types of people in the world, those who can count in binary and those who can't.'
( zacherynuk @echo off, Sat 2 Apr 2005, 20:30, Reply)

Ringtones
I loathed all of the iritating mono-tone ringtones for ages, and them came polyphonic ringtones with could iritate you in 16 channels with 4 octaves. And now the most anoying sounds you cou could not possible imagine in your mortal brain are available as mp3 ringtones. And those dirty, thieveing chavs make you listen to it in its entirerity before they read their text message....Dirty chavs why dont they just phone it only costs 5p to phone someone to say 10 words without the vowels. And another thing about mp3 ITS NOT MPEG 3 its mpeg LAYER 3.

edit:I hate old people who complain because the easter eggs are in shops the day they open after christmas, my dad is a shop manager so he puts the cream eggs out chrsitmas eve just to piss them off.
(as1232004, Sat 2 Apr 2005, 20:29, Reply)

Further WTf
please explain licking your finger to turn a page.

Again, did someone once use the paper for bank notes (which ARE NOT STICKY; see previous)so people, who relied on the stickiness to assist turning the page, had to moisten their finger tips to help out?

Help!

BTW If you have seen the Name of the Rose and you are like me and find this habit really annoying, you'll know what to do.
( Fire & Forget it's the only way to be sure, Sat 2 Apr 2005, 20:26, Reply)

WTF
I am always puzzled why elderly people, when presenting a £20 note for their shopping, sort of "flick'n'rub" the note to see if there is 2 stuck together.
I say nothing but it has realy got me thinking.

I am closer to 40 than 30 and I do not remember at any time a national crisis involving sticky banknotes.

Please explain.
( Fire & Forget it's the only way to be sure, Sat 2 Apr 2005, 20:23, Reply)

Coats for dogs
Religious people
Vespertine animals
Terry's chocolate oranges
Society
(Catfish Ma, why can't I draw? "Because you have fins dear", Sat 2 Apr 2005, 19:33, Reply)

People Slagging off Christians
I don't get why people are allowed to slag off Christians.

Imagine all the trouble I'd get in if I said "I don't like Jews. They are weird and wrong" or "I can't understand why anyone would be Muslim. What a bunch of retards!"

I'm not Christian. I just think we should rip the piss out of EVERY religious person equally.

So a Jew, a Muslim, and a Baptist walk into a bar...

Wankers.
( Demonic Omelette, Sat 2 Apr 2005, 19:10, Reply)

Lo, for I am one taco short of a combination platter
The UK education system — I've been here four and a half years, I've gone through a dozen or so job applications, and each time they ask me how many A-Levels I have or what my grade in my degree was, I just stare blankly and go "Um...I passed?"

If you spend so much time taking tests and getting grades, why do all the students I meet seem so bloody stupid?
( Sydney Bintstow, Sat 2 Apr 2005, 18:49, Reply)

Pizza
I don't get cheese and tomato or even worse plain cheese pizzas. What's the point? It's rubbish. Pizzas should always be topped to the maximum, or you may as well just have some cheese on toast.

Also I don't think Harry Hill is funny.
(weirzbowski, Sat 2 Apr 2005, 18:38, Reply)

I DON'T UNDERSTAND
why farts the morning after a heavy piss-up will smell EXACTLY the same as a portion of McDonald's chips. EXACTLY. either my farts smell of chips or Mc chips smell of shit.
( Victor Meldrew, Sat 2 Apr 2005, 18:34, Reply)

fshingcat
Funnily enough I am a Christian. My experience of a Christian wedding was just that and also a friend of mine, though admittedly he is anti-religious in a major way, went to a Christian wedding and found everyone on J2O for the whole evening.

Sure, I made a generalisation, but one based on experience, as most of these posts are......

What I don't understand is some people's lack of tolerance for other people's opinions.

What's that I see? A can of worms opening?
(Mavryk, Sat 2 Apr 2005, 18:28, Reply)

I really am sorry
Will Self.

I've been going along with it for years, but come on, I mean, really?
(Chickenwire social lubricator extraordinaire, Sat 2 Apr 2005, 18:14, Reply)

Sorry about this... It's a stream of consciousness thing...
Why can't I leave my socks on during sex? It stops toe cramp which can be a *much* bigger passion killer...
(Chickenwire social lubricator extraordinaire, Sat 2 Apr 2005, 18:00, Reply)

You know what else I don't get...
Why the Colombian Cartels killed that full-back after the World Cup. I mean, come on, it's only a frigging game ferchrissakes...
(Chickenwire social lubricator extraordinaire, Sat 2 Apr 2005, 17:57, Reply)

And ANOTHER thing
Had some venison the other night. Saddle of venison to be exact.

Why do deer have a saddle? I just don't get THAT either. Even Jockeys are too big to ride the Bambi.
(Chickenwire social lubricator extraordinaire, Sat 2 Apr 2005, 17:54, Reply)