Why I was late"On the way to the station, I got hit by a bat, it almost took my head clean off. Then the machine would not accept my ticket and the guy at the gate didn't think I looked like the photo on my travel card. So I had to go home and get my passport.
Then the train was 45 minutes late to the station because of the dangerous badger threat at Carpenters Park.
When I was on the train it took and hour and a half to get past the biscuit factory because the driver was really fat.
Then there was a delay stopping at the station because the train in front had heard we were coming and decided to play a practical joke with a rubber shoe on the track.
That is why I couldn't get here on time today."
What's your best excuse?
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chthonic, Thu 28 Jun 2007, 10:36)
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I've been late because......i was having lousy sex in the back of an ice cream van with my neighbour from hell's pet dog (a jack russel by the way) we also had the chimes on full song too which made it all the more exciting. It had, sadly, ran out of ice-cream....not that it matters too much as the sex was blinding by then. Sadly someone overheard everything and came to have a closer look. It was, for lack of a better phrase, the most horrific thing they had ever seen. It was at the point that the onlooker thought it might be a good idea for us to talk it through.
Thats why i was late.
Length, girth? 99 with a big fuck off flake!
NOTE: Did i just suggest i had intercourse with a dog?
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The Pollitt chooses to listen to Enya on, Thu 5 Jul 2007, 10:55,
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