Dick.
An old girlfriend hailed from Canberra, as her father was a pube (public servant), and had gone home for holidays from uni. I live in Sydney.

One night while she was away, her cousin - my best mate, and I decided to leg it to Canberra for drinkies with her and to crash over at her olds' place and head back in the morning to open his vet surgery. Cue a few hours on crap roads ('twas the 80s) in a van with more rattly things than a rattle shop, one headlight and a shit stereo.

We all had an awesome night out, eating and drinking in Manuka, and then partaking of substances in the back of my mate's van - a veterinary ambulance that stunk to high heavens of the urine of terrified animals being transported - high on a small mountain overlooking the city [cough], watching the lights, as the temperature headed into the single digits in the wee hours.

Eventually, we went to her olds' place, high as a kite and half crocked. My mate and I crashed on the lounge-room floor, and she went to her room, to keep some semblance of propriety and morality in front of her parents.

My mate thought it would be a laugh to play Pink Floyd's "Young Lust" at full belt while I was waking up. I thought of going to her room and offering her a well needed refill - after all, it had been a couple of weeks. Didn't happen.

We blokes made ready to drive back home. My girly stopped us, as she thought I should meet her parents for the first time.

The mother was duly introduced and was a lovely lady. Cheerful, beautifully dressed and quite gracious. She had true dignity and class. There was an elegant, restrained prestige to her.

The father marched up to me, with broad slippery grin that only a well-practised politician with vaseline on his teeth could manage. He echoed none of the positive characteristics of his wife. "Hi! I'm Dick!" he greeted, thrusting his hand out, in a manner akin to a creepy used car salesman.

As I shook his hand, my mouth started before my foggy brain did. "Yes, you are."

My mate just about soiled himself from laughing because he had been waiting to say it for years. Girly looked faux-shocked and was forcing back her laughter. Her Mum smirked. Dick looked right pissed.

tl;dr insulted gfs father; various mirth ensues.
(EffinNitWit asks his tobacco where his whisky is, Fri 23 Aug 2013, 11:09, 1 reply)

You were dying to shag her mum, be honest.

( edjogs Collared doves are shit., Sat 24 Aug 2013, 22:32, closed)