The old hole
Next to the old office in London, there's a pub called "The Coal Hole". Affectionately known by a few of us as "The old coal".

After a long day in the office one summers evening, I texted a few colleagues to see if they would be stopping there. However, I was blissfully unaware that the word "COAL" shares a few other spellings in the T9 Predictive Text dictionary.

What I meant to text was "Anyone fancy a bit of the old coal later?"

What I actually ended up texting was "Anyone fancy a bit of the old cock later?"

Unfortunately, it got even worse. A (very female, very beautiful, very breast-endowed) colleage texted me back asking me whether I was serious. Realising my mistake, I replied.

What I meant to reply was "Oh, sorry! Predictive text! I meant COAL!"

What I actually ended up texting was "Oh, sorry! Predictive text! I meant ANAL!"


I'm surprised I still have that job, to be honest...
(Ant Marching And for my next trick... GWARGGHHGWWGGGH!, Tue 4 Aug 2009, 19:11, 5 replies)

it could be worse...
you could want to kick my puppy and dual my aunt.....
( Sallyrsm, Tue 4 Aug 2009, 20:13, closed)

or
He wanted to put his coal in my aunt....and lick my puppy. but he was strange..
(Beer Elf Thought this was like a campfire, anyhow, on, Tue 4 Aug 2009, 22:04, closed)

Fucking Class
!
(Kip, Wed 5 Aug 2009, 9:25, closed)

The real question is...
did the lovely female still say she was up for it?
( unsey a frizzy haired fruit since, Wed 5 Aug 2009, 13:29, closed)

One of my friends was dumped due to predictive text
She was out with a male friend that her current hated and was sure she was screwing behind her back.

Her current texted her saying you'd better be back early tonight and she thought she sent back "I'll try to be home as soon as I can."

Unfortuantly what she sent was "I'll try to be good as soon as I can."

Oh well, it all worked out in the end as the current was a sadistic peice of shit and now she's with someone who lovees her.

Also, my favourite predictive text is when you type in lips you get kiss, or the other way around, I can't remember.
(misskitty reeks of sex and turpentine; laudanum afternoons, Thu 6 Aug 2009, 6:51, closed)