Never believe the hype...
Well despite living in Sarf London my mates and I had heard that Shottingham was a good place for clubbing. My Mum lived in Lincoln. Bonus. Stay at hers, get ripped to the tits, only an hour's drive home. Well me and the lads (yeah all my mates are boys so what) ended up in a rubbish club in the centre of Nottingham but thanks to several tasty little pills I was feeling no pain and quite enjoying the night. Until Dani Behr got on the decks. She was pants. Think your Dad on the decks at a family wedding... missing the mix etc, and a couple of times there was total silence for a minute or two. Talk about a buzz killer. The lads said why didn't we go home as it was about 3am and things weren't improving so I said yes and, being the straightest (ie not drunk) of the four of us, I drove home from Nottingham to Lincoln. It's about 45 miles, and just outside Nottingham City Limits I started coming up on my last pill. Jesus I was driving home, monged as a fothermucker, and attempting to traverse roundabouts at 80mph. So I can honestly say that Dani Behr nearly killed me. I then had to sleep next to Mum in her bed as all the spares were full of blokes. Try not waking up your olds when you're gurning like Les Dawson. I dare you.
( Sallyrsm, Mon 13 Apr 2009, 9:56, 8 replies)

Yes yes
it was Dani Behr and not being a cunt that nearly killed you and anyone else who was unlucky enough to be on the roads.
(LickOutTheJamsMotherfuckers!, Mon 13 Apr 2009, 10:00, closed)

Yeah whatever.
I felt fine when I started driving, honest Officer..
and it was rural Lincolnshire at 3am. Believe me not even cattle are on the roads.
( Sallyrsm, Mon 13 Apr 2009, 10:34, closed)

Seriously. How thick are you?
DUI is suprisingly an offence for a reason you utter twat.
( Madam Marlboro wonders if you've found her yet, Mon 13 Apr 2009, 16:05, closed)

LOLIDIOT!
"No officer, I don't feel pissed/high/monged/whatever, therefore I am fine to be driving!"

Also, it being 3am has sod all to do with it. In fact, I hope you win this QOTW, to show that even with all the education, adverts, thousands of deaths and statistics that prove that DUI of any sort is dangerous, there are still arrogant fuckwits like yourself who seem to think that they are somehow capable of driving even when they're barely capable of operating their own limbs. And saying you felt fine when you started driving is rubbish too. You'd taken pills. You knew you were going to come up at some point. I hope that you don't have to learn the hard way what your actions can lead to. I really do.
( Devil_In_Tights the *real* DiT!, Tue 14 Apr 2009, 16:04, closed)

Why yes, actually
Didn't you know that listening to music makes you go faster?
Well it turns out that listening to badly mixed music and having to suffer pauses between tracks makes you decide- before you've even heard it- to get pilled off your face and drive for an hour.

Oh, no, wait- that's the other thing. Being an utter cunt. That's the one. Always getting those badly mixed up.
( uberdeity Wondered why Owen Lars knew of the term "hell" on, Mon 13 Apr 2009, 10:39, closed)

A good mate of mine was killed by someone
exactly like you. And that driver didn't show any remorse either.
( Grrrmachine the indifference engine, Mon 13 Apr 2009, 13:08, closed)

Oh dear

( Jessie © needs pirate name suggestions, Tue 14 Apr 2009, 17:39, closed)

Seriously
Drinking and driving is just unacceptable. It kills people, much of time people who were innocent.

It used to be frowned upon now it makes you a cunt of the highest order. My only fear is that you won't learn your lesson.
(vibrating tuna, Thu 16 Apr 2009, 0:42, closed)