Basically;
Applaud when a batsman goes out to the crease. Applaud when a four or six is scored (that's when the ball crosses the rope), even if it's not your team who've scored it, just polite. Applaud when a wicket is taken (ditto). Do NOT applaud a batsman who has just got out for a duck, you'll look sarcastic.

And lastly, don't chat up any cricketers, they're gentlemen who'll treat you with respect and won't spitroast you in a Travelodge, so are not really your type.
(Darth Foxtrot A one-man army dedicated to making fetch happen, Wed 4 Apr 2012, 14:32, 3 replies, latest was 12 years ago)

Mind you, Steve Davies is a little more Martha than Arthur.

( the mighty badger Aphrodite, on a bar stool, by your side, Wed 4 Apr 2012, 14:33, Reply)

I've often thought so
and we can smell our own
(Darth Foxtrot A one-man army dedicated to making fetch happen, Wed 4 Apr 2012, 14:36, Reply)

Well, that and he very openly came out last year
but stick to your smell sense if it's working for you.
( the mighty badger Aphrodite, on a bar stool, by your side, Wed 4 Apr 2012, 14:39, Reply)

I wasn't aware of that, embarrassingly
My gaydar is borderline flawless, it must be said
(Darth Foxtrot A one-man army dedicated to making fetch happen, Wed 4 Apr 2012, 14:40, Reply)

Freddie Flintoff is a gentleman, is he?
I know gentlemen, *I'm* a gentleman. Freddie Flintoff is not.
( Kroney, Wed 4 Apr 2012, 14:37, Reply)

Of course he is. He always lights a lady's farts for her.

( the mighty badger Aphrodite, on a bar stool, by your side, Wed 4 Apr 2012, 14:39, Reply)

It's what's called a generalisation, dear
A sweeping statement, if you will. Possibly a reverse sweeping statement, in this context
(Darth Foxtrot A one-man army dedicated to making fetch happen, Wed 4 Apr 2012, 14:41, Reply)

more of a Dilstatement
I'll wager.
( the mighty badger Aphrodite, on a bar stool, by your side, Wed 4 Apr 2012, 14:41, Reply)

That's a beautifully executed cover drive, Aggers

(Darth Foxtrot A one-man army dedicated to making fetch happen, Wed 4 Apr 2012, 14:43, Reply)

I was on thin ice with that one
I reckon there are maybe two people here that would have got it, so thanks for that..
( the mighty badger Aphrodite, on a bar stool, by your side, Wed 4 Apr 2012, 14:44, Reply)

In the mood I'm in today
I'm just grateful you're not calling me a bender or a cunt
(Darth Foxtrot A one-man army dedicated to making fetch happen, Wed 4 Apr 2012, 14:45, Reply)

I wish I did. I have a feeling that I'm missing out.

( Kroney, Wed 4 Apr 2012, 14:46, Reply)

you really aren't
but I can explain if you really want
( the mighty badger Aphrodite, on a bar stool, by your side, Wed 4 Apr 2012, 14:49, Reply)

I, for one, am thorougly enjoying all this cricket talk
thoroughly enjoying seriously considering deleting my account and killing myself, thanks to
( tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Wed 4 Apr 2012, 14:46, Reply)

I'm sure no-one here wants that, please don't
/mockers
(Darth Foxtrot A one-man army dedicated to making fetch happen, Wed 4 Apr 2012, 14:48, Reply)

More cricket talk required ASAP

( Fucking hell Jeff I am not a robot, Wed 4 Apr 2012, 14:49, Reply)

it's about a billion times more interesting than homebrew chat

( rachelswipe with a fork, Wed 4 Apr 2012, 14:54, Reply)

I at least drink beer and can therefore relate to something in that
Cricket offers me nothing.
*racks brain*
Er... I like Soul Limbo by Booker T and the MGs.
( tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Wed 4 Apr 2012, 14:56, Reply)

nor me
but i am willing to learn.
( rachelswipe with a fork, Wed 4 Apr 2012, 15:01, Reply)

it was a bit of a Gambhle

(Bonzodog29 is an unemployed sponge of the worst kind, Wed 4 Apr 2012, 16:02, Reply)

you?
hahahahaha

haaaaaaaaaaaaahahahahahhaa.

ha.
( rachelswipe with a fork, Wed 4 Apr 2012, 14:41, Reply)

How. Rude.
I am the perfect gentleman, I'll have you know.
( Kroney, Wed 4 Apr 2012, 14:41, Reply)

you forget i have MET YOU

( rachelswipe with a fork, Wed 4 Apr 2012, 14:43, Reply)

I get this a lot (every time)
and it never ceases to baffle me.
( Kroney, Wed 4 Apr 2012, 14:43, Reply)

so basically clap when everyone else claps
and get drunk?

i asked the lovely rakky why she likes cricket so much and she said: hot men and booze all day? what's not to like. good point.

eeeeeow, cheap-ass travelodge sex. worst of ALL teh sex.
( rachelswipe with a fork, Wed 4 Apr 2012, 14:39, Reply)

Yes, basically, that'll do it
If it's a one-dayer you'll probably be able to get away with the odd raucous yell as the day wears on too
(Darth Foxtrot A one-man army dedicated to making fetch happen, Wed 4 Apr 2012, 14:41, Reply)

are you on about the cricket
or the pikey travelodge?
( rachelswipe with a fork, Wed 4 Apr 2012, 14:42, Reply)

Hey swipe, you know I told you to fuck off commenting about me
because it made you look like a pathetic mental bitch?
You're doing it again
(PsychoChomp, Wed 4 Apr 2012, 14:44, Reply)

Darth started it
www.b3ta.com/questions/offtopic/post1579565
( Agnostic Antichrist Baltimora, Wed 4 Apr 2012, 14:45, Reply)

Yes, because Chompy is definitely the progenitor of Travelodge sex

(Darth Foxtrot A one-man army dedicated to making fetch happen, Wed 4 Apr 2012, 14:47, Reply)

I haven't had to specifically tell Darth to leave me alone like a child.

(PsychoChomp, Wed 4 Apr 2012, 15:19, Reply)

why should a reference to being shitty and cheap-ass
make you think it was a reference to you?
( rachelswipe with a fork, Wed 4 Apr 2012, 14:56, Reply)

oh yeah
because you're shit and cheapass.
( rachelswipe with a fork, Wed 4 Apr 2012, 14:57, Reply)

You're just making yourself look like a spastic
go away
(PsychoChomp, Wed 4 Apr 2012, 15:20, Reply)

too far
and you know it.
( rachelswipe with a fork, Wed 4 Apr 2012, 15:32, Reply)

12 months of ignoring you didn't work
grow up.
(PsychoChomp, Wed 4 Apr 2012, 15:33, Reply)

let's try another 12.
YEARS.
( rachelswipe with a fork, Wed 4 Apr 2012, 15:38, Reply)