*assembles*
Whatcha doin' tonight then, bobs?
( b3th Not shit. Not mod., Mon 4 Jun 2012, 22:44, 2 replies, latest was 12 years ago)

Hello B, this evening I have just ordered some new bits for my bike and made a jelly. Spent the day in Bristol at my mates dicking around in his garden and the woods. What about you?
(ThunderCuntThePendejo officially less shit than NakedApe, Mon 4 Jun 2012, 22:48, Reply)

barbecued pig, illustrator, tv.
Sums it up, really.
( b3th Not shit. Not mod., Mon 4 Jun 2012, 22:51, Reply)

You been drinkinininining?
(ThunderCuntThePendejo officially less shit than NakedApe, Mon 4 Jun 2012, 22:51, Reply)

Little bit.

( b3th Not shit. Not mod., Mon 4 Jun 2012, 22:52, Reply)

Today I heard that the queen has a dubonet and gin before lunch, wine with lunch, a dry martini and champagne in the evening. Totalling 6 units and classifying her as a binge drinker.
(ThunderCuntThePendejo officially less shit than NakedApe, Mon 4 Jun 2012, 22:54, Reply)

True story
A mate of mine worked for North Yorks education.

The ol' Princess Margaret came to open their new HQ, and they had to hide double G and T's behind EVERY potted plant for her to scoff as she waltzted through.
( The Disappointed Caravanner of the year, Mon 4 Jun 2012, 23:03, Reply)

Bollox
They had G&Ts behind every pot plant every day anyway. It wis that fucker from accounts. There's one (plus reserve) in every council.
(Phudbree oh man, the Doric Yorick, Mon 4 Jun 2012, 23:13, Reply)

God Bless em.
(ThunderCuntThePendejo officially less shit than NakedApe, Mon 4 Jun 2012, 23:13, Reply)

Unable
to assemble.

I'm in bits.

Also, sick of Betty Battenburg and all this crap.
(Phudbree oh man, the Doric Yorick, Mon 4 Jun 2012, 22:48, Reply)

I've been 'tweeting' about it
on account of how I am 'well' 'hip'
( b3th Not shit. Not mod., Mon 4 Jun 2012, 22:49, Reply)

oooo what's your twitter name?
(ThunderCuntThePendejo officially less shit than NakedApe, Mon 4 Jun 2012, 22:50, Reply)

haha
Yeah, like I'm going to hand it out on here.
( b3th Not shit. Not mod., Mon 4 Jun 2012, 22:51, Reply)

follow me, dr3wyork, and I'll follow you back.
(ThunderCuntThePendejo officially less shit than NakedApe, Mon 4 Jun 2012, 22:52, Reply)

so, your twitter bio?

( b3th Not shit. Not mod., Mon 4 Jun 2012, 22:57, Reply)

Dunno, let me readit.

read it, I stand by it.
(ThunderCuntThePendejo officially less shit than NakedApe, Mon 4 Jun 2012, 22:58, Reply)

You
shouldn't even mention "hip" at your age. Tempting fate an' that.

No offence, like.
(Phudbree oh man, the Doric Yorick, Mon 4 Jun 2012, 22:54, Reply)

I'm already arthritic.
My knees are fucking shot. They'll go long before my hips do.
( b3th Not shit. Not mod., Mon 4 Jun 2012, 22:55, Reply)

I have a wicked cut on my knee after yesterdays bike crashes.
(ThunderCuntThePendejo officially less shit than NakedApe, Mon 4 Jun 2012, 22:56, Reply)

Flid

( b3th Not shit. Not mod., Mon 4 Jun 2012, 22:56, Reply)

chicks dig scars
(ThunderCuntThePendejo officially less shit than NakedApe, Mon 4 Jun 2012, 22:58, Reply)

They don't dig flids.

( b3th Not shit. Not mod., Mon 4 Jun 2012, 22:59, Reply)

What about deacons?
(ThunderCuntThePendejo officially less shit than NakedApe, Mon 4 Jun 2012, 22:59, Reply)

Or
Bishops.
(Phudbree oh man, the Doric Yorick, Mon 4 Jun 2012, 23:02, Reply)

Au contraire.
We do alright.
( CQ Knows the truth, all of it., Mon 4 Jun 2012, 23:12, Reply)

S'allright
you can get plastic inserts, these days.
And not always from Ann Summers.
Unless they won the contract, of course, which is entireably possible. Imagine having dildos for knees.
(Phudbree oh man, the Doric Yorick, Mon 4 Jun 2012, 22:59, Reply)

"Granny, why is your knee buzzing?"

( b3th Not shit. Not mod., Mon 4 Jun 2012, 23:08, Reply)

"It's
made of beeeez, so don't get too close."
(Phudbree oh man, the Doric Yorick, Mon 4 Jun 2012, 23:10, Reply)

Dildos don't buzz. You're thinking of vibrators.

( crackhouseceilidhband Fuck off back to Mumsnet, Mon 4 Jun 2012, 23:33, Reply)

I bow to your superior knowledge

( b3th Not shit. Not mod., Mon 4 Jun 2012, 23:34, Reply)

They're pretty hard on the batteries, mind.
Or so I've heard.
( crackhouseceilidhband Fuck off back to Mumsnet, Mon 4 Jun 2012, 23:38, Reply)