Off TopicAre you a QOTWer? Do you want to start a thread that isn't a direct answer to the current QOTW? Then this place, gentle poster, is your friend.
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rob, Sun 1 Apr 2001, 1:00)
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Got woken up by a wanker delivering flowers for next door, then when I went for a shit got interrupted by next door wanting their flowers, and now I can't log on to the website I need to use as it's down for maintenance! Can't a man start his day off in peace?
alt: Lunch?
(, Tue 12 Jun 2012, 12:19, 137 replies, latest was 12 years ago)
Liquid, with baz and sporters.(
Davros' Granddad a voice of calm reason in a world of spastics., Tue 12 Jun 2012, 12:29,
Reply)
just eaten it.I will read Money for the rest of my lunch hour. Martin Amis is very very funny.
Apologies for lack of sci fi.
(, Tue 12 Jun 2012, 12:30, Reply)
Money is very boring,and besides it's mainly pictures and latin isn't it?
(, Tue 12 Jun 2012, 12:35, Reply)
Funny boy, Bobbo, funny boy.Martin Amis novel. No spaceships, aliens, didacticism or lasers.
Sorry bbz.
(, Tue 12 Jun 2012, 12:37, Reply)
Well I will counter act your selfish act and re-balance the universe by reading Red Dwarf on the crapper over the next few days.
(, Tue 12 Jun 2012, 12:39, Reply)
Red Dwarf on the chod bin?I once gave Alfred Bester a go. The Stars My Destination was alright, but The Demolished Man was clearly the work of a plodding sci fi hack who had happened to read about Freud.
It was only one step above Pratchettesque shitness.
And Bester is meant to be 'good' sci fi.
(, Tue 12 Jun 2012, 12:44, Reply)
There is no such thing as good science fiction.(
Fucking hell Jeff I am not a robot, Tue 12 Jun 2012, 12:45,
Reply)
No, must be this guy.en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Michael_Marshall_Smith
How's you Mr Plum?
(, Tue 12 Jun 2012, 12:52, Reply)
shut it mont...... waitaminute!(
mark morrisons prison shoes I love Willie, Tue 12 Jun 2012, 12:51,
Reply)
I think I have a flapjack somewhereif not then it's a trip into town.
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Amberl was stripey and dominated Europe, Tue 12 Jun 2012, 12:32,
Reply)
Come back to Englandand I'll buy you a flapjack. Fair trade I feel
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Amberl was stripey and dominated Europe, Tue 12 Jun 2012, 12:54,
Reply)
Even more shit than your starring role in Life's Too Short, eh Warwick?You were good in Willow though.
(, Tue 12 Jun 2012, 12:47, Reply)
haha! it's funny because he's a midget!(
mark morrisons prison shoes I love Willie, Tue 12 Jun 2012, 12:48,
Reply)
I NOE RITE?What do dwarves and Battered have in common? Very little.
(, Tue 12 Jun 2012, 12:53, Reply)
How often must I remind you that you are shorter than me?Stupid dwarf.
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Fucking hell Jeff I am not a robot, Tue 12 Jun 2012, 12:53,
Reply)
I too suffered with deliverymen curtailing my morning 'logout' session - I feel your pain.Alt: Chicken sandwich on brown bread. Yay.
(, Tue 12 Jun 2012, 12:37, Reply)
He's only doing his job.not his fault you have a weeping anus.
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mark morrisons prison shoes I love Willie, Tue 12 Jun 2012, 12:42,
Reply)
Leftover Chinese from last nightAnd once he's finished sucking me off I'll have a sandwich
(, Tue 12 Jun 2012, 12:43, Reply)
hahahaha!Cream of Sum Yung Man
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sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Tue 12 Jun 2012, 14:23,
Reply)
You can't beat a getting up dump.It really kicks the day off. Anyway, what are you doing getting up at this time? Lazy git.
Alt, cheeseburger and chips. And some fruit from the bottom of the fridge.
(, Tue 12 Jun 2012, 12:45, Reply)
Proper potato ones. Hand cut and fried.None of that American fries shit.
(, Tue 12 Jun 2012, 12:50, Reply)
Spicy chicken pasta thing my housemate made for meRather tasty
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Agnostic Antichrist Baltimora, Tue 12 Jun 2012, 12:51,
Reply)
God damn it man, what is this country coming to?*writes strongly-worded letter*
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b3th Not shit. Not mod., Tue 12 Jun 2012, 12:56,
Reply)
You should go round to the Klopek's next to complain about the noises they're making at nightAlt: Chicken soup and brown bread
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Reginald Donkeyfuck, Tue 12 Jun 2012, 13:01,
Reply)
Hey! I got a film reference!I must be really *into* film.
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b3th Not shit. Not mod., Tue 12 Jun 2012, 13:06,
Reply)
I think it'sthe only Tom Hank's movie I enjoyed.He really is a crap actor.
(, Tue 12 Jun 2012, 13:17, Reply)
i am ashamed of the wanton greed and extravagance of my lunchfab restaurant near my office does a deal where you get a thing - could be a falafel or dead animal wrap; could be quiche or greek pie; could be smoked salmon or falafel, you get the picture - and a choice of 3 salads. so i ordered feta and spinach quiche and 3 tasty salads (as it's so dead on here anyway, i'll tell you it was a pasta salad, a lentil salad and a green salad with dill and spring onions).
THEN i saw the hot dish of the day. goats cheese and butternut squash lasagne. so i got a slab of that too. total cost: £15. total food: enough for 3 people. total amount eaten by me? enough for about 1.5 people with the rest shamefully going in the bin.
i feel very very very bad. and exceptionally fat, despite running 3.5 miles before work today. and i know that this is just the place to come when you are feeling bad about something and need sympathy. and fat.
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rachelswipe with a fork, Tue 12 Jun 2012, 13:25,
Reply)
You know how some rappers only wear each pair of shoes once and then give them away?Swipey's the same. It's a little-known fact that London's booming hammock business is a direct result of her attitude towards bras.
(, Tue 12 Jun 2012, 13:30, Reply)
a box of half-eaten salads and a half-eaten quiche?when would i feel like eating that again?
no no no. in the bin with it. and back to the gym after work for me!
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rachelswipe with a fork, Tue 12 Jun 2012, 13:32,
Reply)
So you're so ashamed of what you did that you described at at length?By this logic I must assume you are also hugely ashamed of your breasts.
(, Tue 12 Jun 2012, 13:29, Reply)
Very well indeed mate.Hoping to start working from home in the near future, so it should knock an hour's traveling off my day.
How's it going at your end?
(, Tue 12 Jun 2012, 13:37, Reply)
Yeah not bad cheers mateWork is fecking mental, am quite jealous of your forthcoming status. Weather good enough up your way for some cricket?
(, Tue 12 Jun 2012, 13:41, Reply)
Yeah I'm quite looking forward to it now. They were going to rearrange the seating plan in the office which would involve me sitting with the most smug, self-satisfied, pain in the arse of a woman that you could ever meet. That really nailed it for me.
The weather has been somewhat mixed. Last weekend was a total washout, but the week before was glorious sunshine and we won both of our games. However, out of 6 league matches so far, we've only played 3. We've won 2 of them, so we're actually 3rd in the league having played less (fewer) games than anyone else, as the league is ranked on percentages.
Still looking forward to seeing FNM then you jammy bas?
(, Tue 12 Jun 2012, 13:50, Reply)
Alright taHad a big competition Saturday which went less well than I'd hoped it would, we keep getting passed over for younger couples who patently aren't as good as us. Nonetheless I've got two choices - get on with it and smile or get on with it and grumble
(, Tue 12 Jun 2012, 14:02, Reply)
She can deny it all she likes, but she can't hide the truth. Or chlamydia.(, Tue 12 Jun 2012, 14:12, Reply)
this is 2 references to my lovejugs in 2 minutesthat is smooth, even for you, stranger!
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rachelswipe with a fork, Tue 12 Jun 2012, 13:32,
Reply)
This is what happens when I don't pander over them for agesIt's the internet equivalent of premature spaff explosion
All this smooth talk combined with my affirmed status as an in-closet bender must make your knickers positively sodden.
(, Tue 12 Jun 2012, 13:36, Reply)
yesdripping like a dilapidated ceiling at the end of a 25 year lease term.
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rachelswipe with a fork, Tue 12 Jun 2012, 13:40,
Reply)
Surely you could have kept that until later?(
Agnostic Antichrist Baltimora, Tue 12 Jun 2012, 13:30,
Reply)
a box of half-eaten salads and a half-eaten quiche?when would i feel like eating that again?
no no no. in the bin with it. and back to the gym after work for me!
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rachelswipe with a fork, Tue 12 Jun 2012, 13:33,
Reply)
urgh nowho wants a half-eaten version of their lunch for their dinner?!
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rachelswipe with a fork, Tue 12 Jun 2012, 13:38,
Reply)
If it's a good lunch, I have no issue having it againI buy 12 inch subs from time to time, eat 6 inches at lunch, then have the rest for tea
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Agnostic Antichrist Baltimora, Tue 12 Jun 2012, 13:39,
Reply)
(, Tue 12 Jun 2012, 13:53, Reply)
i saw this porno once where this girl had this guys really small willy in her mouthand then she vomited a pint of milk onto him
true story
(, Tue 12 Jun 2012, 14:00, Reply)
even worse!now with added hard bits and cold bits
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rachelswipe with a fork, Tue 12 Jun 2012, 13:41,
Reply)
everyone stop picking on swipe!she ate like a gannet, this is nothing new
(, Tue 12 Jun 2012, 13:34, Reply)
NOW LOOKyou can call me ugly and fat and single and mental and anything else you like, there are ducks with less water rolling off their backs.
but lambrini? for the love of god man, stop fucking picking on me.
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rachelswipe with a fork, Tue 12 Jun 2012, 13:38,
Reply)
look out folks, swipe's fit to explodeshe's had a breezer at lunch by herself and she's gonna turn on the first man she sees
(, Tue 12 Jun 2012, 13:41, Reply)
I'm sure she turns on many men/panders
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The Light in Chains don't touch the Pope's boner, Tue 12 Jun 2012, 14:08,
Reply)
not enoughthere is NEVER enough pandering
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rachelswipe with a fork, Tue 12 Jun 2012, 14:15,
Reply)
if you hurry round herei'll smear the rest of it on your chest and get monty to lick it off
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rachelswipe with a fork, Tue 12 Jun 2012, 13:41,
Reply)
could you not have given it to a homeless or someone else in your office? not having a go Swipe but it is a bit wasteful.
(, Tue 12 Jun 2012, 13:44, Reply)
What would the homeless want with it?They can't buy *any* gold label or drugs with quiche, man.
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Kroney, Tue 12 Jun 2012, 14:09,
Reply)
I think I'm going to have to explain somethingto relieve the tedium.
Please note, this'll only relieve the tedium for me, everybody else is likely to find it deathly dull.
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Kroney, Tue 12 Jun 2012, 14:20,
Reply)
Mechanical hard drives utilise a form of quantum mechanicsin the form of giant magnetoresistance.
Nobody cares, but I'm just going to drop that in there as really, the idea that your laptop is using quantum physics to store your porn is fucking incredible.
(
Kroney, Tue 12 Jun 2012, 14:30,
Reply)
It'll take way too longbut have a link https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Giant_magnetoresistance
SSD drives are actually a damned sight simpler than the drive technology they're replacing.
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Kroney, Tue 12 Jun 2012, 14:37,
Reply)
I wish I understood more than the approximate third that I do.(
Kroney, Tue 12 Jun 2012, 14:45,
Reply)
I didn't say I understood!(
sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Tue 12 Jun 2012, 14:47,
Reply)
I have now had PeroniThat is all
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sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Tue 12 Jun 2012, 14:25,
Reply)
Lunchtime drinking is fucking brilliantI hate returning to work
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sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Tue 12 Jun 2012, 14:43,
Reply)
Mine looks fucking greyDG's is awesome (and high) and Baz's was cool
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sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Tue 12 Jun 2012, 14:27,
Reply)
Aye, good laughBaz is off to the Apple shop to complain about his iPhone not working after he "may" have pissed on it
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sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Tue 12 Jun 2012, 14:30,
Reply)
He really isn't married to Janine(
sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Tue 12 Jun 2012, 14:42,
Reply)
Baz is coolHe has excellent eyebrows
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sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Tue 12 Jun 2012, 14:47,
Reply)
Mine's grey as owt at the sides.Which is why I keep on a no. 1.
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Davros' Granddad a voice of calm reason in a world of spastics., Tue 12 Jun 2012, 14:45,
Reply)
Jesus, just fuck each other would youI might be reading too much into this as I've just had to explain to the office new girl, who otherwise seemed quite bright, that Top Gun has a gay subtext.
(, Tue 12 Jun 2012, 14:52, Reply)
just wipe like everyone else you sick freak.
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The Light in Chains don't touch the Pope's boner, Tue 12 Jun 2012, 15:05,
Reply)
That sounds fucking excellentI had a ham sarnie at 10:30 and then beer so I am fucking starving
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sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Tue 12 Jun 2012, 14:36,
Reply)
You had a steak made out of someone who's prepared to publically admit that they thought Temple of Doom was the best Indiana Jones film?(, Tue 12 Jun 2012, 14:43, Reply)
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