September Bash!
Hotels and trains all booked, just waiting on Monty to confirm the pre-bash food venue.

Evening, I'm waiting for a roast dinner to finish cooking whilst watching the remake of 'We Are The Champions - Special' on Channel 4. I'm a bit annoyed that the people in the pool haven't waiting for Ron Pickering to say 'away you go!' before they started.

Good weekend?
( JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Sun 2 Sep 2012, 18:19, 48 replies, latest was 12 years ago)

Not bad
curry yesterday, farting today. Still procrastinating about doing important work things. lame
( Citizen Cavy Admires your passion for conformity, Sun 2 Sep 2012, 18:33, Reply)

Bostin' thanks!
Just home from Twang Club. Beers were quaffed and songs were sung. Lamb dinner in 20 mins followed by wine and snoozing in a reclining chair.

I'm rock 'n' roll, me.
(Captain Placid 24/7 ball gags, brownie mix and clown porn, Sun 2 Sep 2012, 19:15, Reply)

Yeah. Apart from the cat situation.
Early pint with Monty on Fridat evening, out for tapas yesterday, then watched Misery (always makes me laugh). Today gardening, farmers market, snoozing, pub and now cooking.

Might not be able to make the bash btw...
( Fucking hell Jeff I am not a robot, Sun 2 Sep 2012, 19:17, Reply)

Are you still thinking of giving your daughter a name then?

( JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Sun 2 Sep 2012, 20:00, Reply)

Yes. Robina.
Until we decided that would be too cruel.
( Fucking hell Jeff I am not a robot, Sun 2 Sep 2012, 20:03, Reply)

All good thanks, caught up on a lot of work, did some cooking, bought a violin, cleaned up the flat, generally took it easy.
I'm looking forward to the september bash, I can't believe its been a year already.
( G/PP 💩💩💩💩💩&#128, Sun 2 Sep 2012, 19:18, Reply)

Pretty good thanks
Had a shit day Friday, went out with a friend, got hammered on the cheap.

Saturday, woke up early, forgot that I'd agreed to go to the gym the night before, spent an hour in the gym, ached afterwards, BBQ in the afternoon (amazing), friends leaving do in the night, got the last bus home.

Today, I've been to the gym again, watched 2 underwhelming (to say the least) games of football, and am now relaxing for the evening.
( Agnostic Antichrist Baltimora, Sun 2 Sep 2012, 19:57, Reply)

1. Turkey
2. Turkey
3. Turkey
4. Turkey
5. Turkey

NEVA B 4GOT MAX.
( tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Sun 2 Sep 2012, 19:58, Reply)

Ha ha ha

( JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Sun 2 Sep 2012, 20:00, Reply)

How are you, Jeffo?

( tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Sun 2 Sep 2012, 20:08, Reply)

Turkey

( JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Sun 2 Sep 2012, 20:46, Reply)

alright JeffTheDogFucker
Yeah, it was OK. All the more welcome after working on 11 consecutive days.

Spent most of it making a big list of stuff I need to know for some exams in a week's time.
( The Mock TurtIe ™ --- Thinks you are a cunt, on, Sun 2 Sep 2012, 20:16, Reply)

What level of times table are you going for?

( Fucking hell Jeff I am not a robot, Sun 2 Sep 2012, 20:31, Reply)

What do you mean.

( The Mock TurtIe ™ --- Thinks you are a cunt, on, Sun 2 Sep 2012, 20:32, Reply)

Erm. Your exam?

( Fucking hell Jeff I am not a robot, Sun 2 Sep 2012, 20:35, Reply)

First one's on Friday, the others are on the following Monday, Wednesday and Friday.

( The Mock TurtIe ™ --- Thinks you are a cunt, on, Sun 2 Sep 2012, 20:39, Reply)

You know very well what I am inferring. What's 13x p16?

( Fucking hell Jeff I am not a robot, Sun 2 Sep 2012, 20:41, Reply)

It's a prostate examination.

( tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Sun 2 Sep 2012, 20:40, Reply)

Oh shit, I misread. Thought you said "time table".
They're for an SCS Diploma in Cosmetic Science. It's mostly stuff I've been doing at work for the last three years, so I'm pretty confident I can make a decent fist of it.
( The Mock TurtIe ™ --- Thinks you are a cunt, on, Sun 2 Sep 2012, 20:41, Reply)

Cosmetic science? So you want to be a make up artist with a grand job title?

( Fucking hell Jeff I am not a robot, Sun 2 Sep 2012, 20:42, Reply)

More so I can help create products for use by make up artists with grand job titles.

( The Mock TurtIe ™ --- Thinks you are a cunt, on, Sun 2 Sep 2012, 20:44, Reply)

So you're 'in to' vivisection? Excellent. I have a cat going spare. Interested?

( Fucking hell Jeff I am not a robot, Sun 2 Sep 2012, 20:47, Reply)

Sorry, no garden here and I'm on the first/second floor.

( The Mock TurtIe ™ --- Thinks you are a cunt, on, Sun 2 Sep 2012, 20:50, Reply)

You inconsiderate bastard. I DEMAND you get a garden immediately and take this sodding cat.
Thx.
( Fucking hell Jeff I am not a robot, Sun 2 Sep 2012, 20:54, Reply)

alright?

(dozers, do fuck off ur a nob m8, Sun 2 Sep 2012, 20:51, Reply)

Fuck off. Wanker.

( Fucking hell Jeff I am not a robot, Sun 2 Sep 2012, 20:52, Reply)

I hope you die in a fire.

(dozers, do fuck off ur a nob m8, Sun 2 Sep 2012, 20:53, Reply)

Only once I have arranged for you to be raped up the ringpiece with some rusty razor wire.
Alright? Good weekend?
( Fucking hell Jeff I am not a robot, Sun 2 Sep 2012, 20:55, Reply)

Stop being civil you AIDS ridden arse monkey.
This and that. Been reading up on hydrogen fuel technology.
(dozers, do fuck off ur a nob m8, Sun 2 Sep 2012, 20:59, Reply)

I have been gardening and spending time with both may daughter and in my shed.

( Fucking hell Jeff I am not a robot, Sun 2 Sep 2012, 21:01, Reply)

Euphemism for noncing then.
An old friend has started a hydrogen fuel business. Has an ineffective marketing team. Needs a new director. Should I freelance it? I don't want to move and the company is only a few months old. What if they go tits up?
(dozers, do fuck off ur a nob m8, Sun 2 Sep 2012, 21:03, Reply)

Can you do it part time and keep your FT job for a while to see if it has long term potential?

( Fucking hell Jeff I am not a robot, Sun 2 Sep 2012, 21:07, Reply)

Possibly.
But it's stuff like their London guy is a twerp. Getting TfL to buy the equipment for their buses would be a massive coup. I'm suggesting a diversified client portfolio of public and private sector, aiming to get bought by GE in 2-3 years.

Loads of money all round if that happens.

EDIT: Twerp as in hasn't managed to speak to TfL yet.
(dozers, do fuck off ur a nob m8, Sun 2 Sep 2012, 21:12, Reply)

Feel
Da luv, man.
(Phudbree oh man, the Doric Yorick, Sun 2 Sep 2012, 20:53, Reply)

Alight you tecuchter prick?
Your alter ego has been absent for a while, thank fuck.
(dozers, do fuck off ur a nob m8, Sun 2 Sep 2012, 20:54, Reply)

I'm
fine, min. It's teuchter, by the way.

How's yersel'?

Who is my alter ego?
(Phudbree oh man, the Doric Yorick, Sun 2 Sep 2012, 20:56, Reply)

I ken the spelling fine well
Just typod it as I am thick as fuck.

Your alter ego is Hartley Hare. Obvs.
(dozers, do fuck off ur a nob m8, Sun 2 Sep 2012, 20:58, Reply)

Hartley
is about twelve and has gone to scout camp or something.

I have little doubt his woggle is getting some hellish abuse.

He'll grow out of it when he reaches puberty. It'll snap.
(Phudbree oh man, the Doric Yorick, Sun 2 Sep 2012, 21:03, Reply)

He's a prick.

(dozers, do fuck off ur a nob m8, Sun 2 Sep 2012, 21:04, Reply)

Nah
he's just trying too hard.

Though he might well be a prick as well. Not really bothered, TBH.
(Phudbree oh man, the Doric Yorick, Sun 2 Sep 2012, 21:08, Reply)

Trying way too hard.
All him do is go round quoting OT catchphrases and sucking up to people.
(dozers, do fuck off ur a nob m8, Sun 2 Sep 2012, 21:10, Reply)

Eh
totes, min.

I hate to say this but Battered is giving you good advice up there. ^^^^^^^^^^^

The cunt.
(Phudbree oh man, the Doric Yorick, Sun 2 Sep 2012, 21:15, Reply)

He's a dick as well, but not as bad as HH.

(dozers, do fuck off ur a nob m8, Sun 2 Sep 2012, 21:15, Reply)

It's
hard to be a cunt and a dick at the same time but somehow Battered manages it. He could fuck himself silly but never really gets round to it.

I'm sure he's a lovely chap, sometimes.
(Phudbree oh man, the Doric Yorick, Sun 2 Sep 2012, 21:19, Reply)

Steak Pie is ready. Bye.

(Phudbree oh man, the Doric Yorick, Sun 2 Sep 2012, 21:28, Reply)

I might bash.
Weekend was good, got a little heavy on Friday night, so work this morning was brutal. Still, home now, feet up, trousers off.
( Windy Pig I'm naturally quite suspicious about the moon., Sun 2 Sep 2012, 21:35, Reply)

I can't believe you've all gone to bed.

( JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Sun 2 Sep 2012, 22:46, Reply)

NOT ME
(ThunderCuntThePendejo officially less shit than NakedApe, Mon 3 Sep 2012, 1:59, Reply)