Another one with legs!
This story throws up many questions and that's always a good thing with a story as it provides something to keep the reader interested. I want to know why he started killing, what were those days of freedom like? At the moment he's a totally unsympathetic character - he's a murderer - but he could become sympathetic once we find out why he's killing. What is it that drives him on?

I do like the way the writing is very spare and direct and were you to write more for this particular piece I would suggest that you consider altering the tone once he's 'outside' or for when (if) we see his past. That way the impact of this section is kept up and it remains chilling.

Keep writing! And like all the others - if you don't feel it's got any potential for you right now, put it away and come back to it in a week or a month's time.
( chickenlady b3ta's very own Elizabeth Taylor, Sun 6 Jul 2008, 23:26, Reply)