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(, Sun 1 Apr 2001, 1:00)
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Just woken up!
That was about a 14 hour sleep.

What does Saturday hold in store for you, aside from not meeting Dozer for a pint.
(, Sat 8 Mar 2014, 12:57, 111 replies, latest was 10 years ago)
I'm not meeting myself for a pint.

(, Sat 8 Mar 2014, 14:05, Reply)
Meeting your mum

(, Sat 8 Mar 2014, 14:27, Reply)
I ate a Bounty.

(, Sat 8 Mar 2014, 16:38, Reply)
milk or dark chocolate?

(, Sat 8 Mar 2014, 16:44, Reply)
Milk. 4 for £1!

(, Sat 8 Mar 2014, 16:46, Reply)
Alright frog.

(, Sat 8 Mar 2014, 16:49, Reply)
Afternoon Doc

(, Sat 8 Mar 2014, 16:50, Reply)
dark is better

(, Sat 8 Mar 2014, 16:51, Reply)
I don't like dark chocolate, it's too bitter and doesn't do much for my childish palette.

(, Sat 8 Mar 2014, 16:52, Reply)
^ girl tongue

(, Sat 8 Mar 2014, 16:53, Reply)
It reallyis. I haven't met Dozer in York yet.

(, Sat 8 Mar 2014, 16:52, Reply)
Good work
Not meeting Dozer is a bit like buying an icon.
(, Sat 8 Mar 2014, 16:59, Reply)
Aye.
I don't want to go out in the evening, in case he tries to touch me.
(, Sat 8 Mar 2014, 17:15, Reply)
Plus the place is full of Lib Dems this weekend.

(, Sat 8 Mar 2014, 17:17, Reply)
Yep.

(, Sat 8 Mar 2014, 17:19, Reply)
It's your kid he'll be after.

(, Sat 8 Mar 2014, 17:18, Reply)
He uses big words innit as a grooming tool.

(, Sat 8 Mar 2014, 17:20, Reply)
His lexicon is attractive to children.
He calls himself a paedophile, I'd call him a nonce.
(, Sat 8 Mar 2014, 17:23, Reply)
I'd callhim a kid fiddler. You been supping from the tango goblet this weekend?

(, Sat 8 Mar 2014, 17:44, Reply)
No.

(, Sat 8 Mar 2014, 17:52, Reply)
She'sseeing tht guy with the big one.
So dumped, sorry.
(, Sat 8 Mar 2014, 18:05, Reply)
#LEDGEBANTS

(, Sat 8 Mar 2014, 18:06, Reply)
You're dead to me.

(, Sat 8 Mar 2014, 16:58, Reply)
Bit harsh.

(, Sat 8 Mar 2014, 17:01, Reply)
Nasty coconut shit.

(, Sat 8 Mar 2014, 17:01, Reply)
Will be at some point.

(, Sat 8 Mar 2014, 17:02, Reply)
Ha!

(, Sat 8 Mar 2014, 17:04, Reply)
evening chaps
i had a posh brekkie for lunch and now I'm contemplating a cheese sandwich for tea. Rock and roll.
(, Sat 8 Mar 2014, 17:49, Reply)
I'm going to cook lime & chili chicken with a jacket spud and steamed spinach. Need to work out what film I'm going to watch.
Edit: what defined your breakfast as being posh?
(, Sat 8 Mar 2014, 17:52, Reply)
pancetta instead of bacon,fried duck egg, fancy sausage, artisan bread for the fried slice

(, Sat 8 Mar 2014, 17:54, Reply)
also individual black pudding rather than a slice from a big one

(, Sat 8 Mar 2014, 17:55, Reply)
You fucking ponce.

(, Sat 8 Mar 2014, 17:58, Reply)
closer than the greasy spoon

(, Sat 8 Mar 2014, 18:03, Reply)
It wasn't permitted to watch ITV as a child

(, Sat 8 Mar 2014, 17:59, Reply)
Wire and kid tucked away, now for a wander 😁

(, Sat 8 Mar 2014, 18:54, Reply)
Going to explore the petrol station over the road from the travelodge?

(, Sat 8 Mar 2014, 20:08, Reply)
later, beers
perhaps zombies, perhaps dancing
(, Sat 8 Mar 2014, 19:00, Reply)
i'm watching a program about ballerinas
I think my obsession with documentaries has gone too far
(, Sat 8 Mar 2014, 19:02, Reply)
are they fit?

(, Sat 8 Mar 2014, 19:08, Reply)
you have to be fit to do ballet

(, Sat 8 Mar 2014, 19:09, Reply)
My sister was one. Passed her first exam (with honours) at the Royal School at the age 4 (pushy mother)
By 17 she was fully trained, all exams done, but grew one inch too tall to be a prima.

Her reaction? Become a fat lazy cunt; a size 18 the last time I saw her (when she was about 33). Queen of the pasta, pies & doughnuts.
(, Sat 8 Mar 2014, 20:02, Reply)
I have no interest in ballet but I'm intruiged.
How do you be too tall? Surely it's about movement, not presence.
(, Sat 8 Mar 2014, 20:07, Reply)
Yeah, I've never heard of that
No mention of height restrictions here either en.m.wikipedia.org/wiki/Prima_ballerina_assoluta
(, Sat 8 Mar 2014, 20:14, Reply)
I'm sure there's a reason but I can't think of one
Maybe a low bridge on the route to ballerina school.

Y'right, boss?
(, Sat 8 Mar 2014, 20:22, Reply)
Yer, not bad
You?
(, Sat 8 Mar 2014, 20:38, Reply)
Cracking on there lad, cracking on...

(, Sat 8 Mar 2014, 20:39, Reply)
Been to any good gigs lately?

(, Sat 8 Mar 2014, 20:42, Reply)
About to ask you the same question
No - looking forward to The Burning Hell (look 'em up) and Joan as Policewoman soon though.

You?
(, Sat 8 Mar 2014, 20:44, Reply)
Saw a decent jazz band last week called Let Spin, if you're into that sort of thing, but apart from that it's been relatively quiet round here of late
Some good stuff coming up in the next couple of months though
(, Sat 8 Mar 2014, 20:52, Reply)
Wish I'd known about the Prince thing in Manchester a couple of weeks ago
Three and a half hours of Prince with - apparently - a bassist who makes Bootsy Collins sound amateur.
(, Sat 8 Mar 2014, 21:05, Reply)
I don't get the Prince thing
Some people I respect rave about him, but I've never been bothered
(, Sat 8 Mar 2014, 21:09, Reply)
He's done a lot of shite
I wouldn't call myself a major fan but I've got some stuff - more than some stuff.

He's incredible live and he seriously is one of the best guitarists in the world. He will fuck any Bon Jovi type posturing wanker into a cocked hat.
(, Sat 8 Mar 2014, 21:15, Reply)

Saw him perform at the dome, sorry, now called the O2, about 7 years ago - was ok. Not sure I would bother to see him again though.
(, Sat 8 Mar 2014, 21:22, Reply)
It couldn't be a crock of shit.....
....could it?
(, Sat 8 Mar 2014, 20:22, Reply)
I don't know...
...but it sounds like it
(, Sat 8 Mar 2014, 20:41, Reply)
I'd like to hang around to find out for sure....
....but I'd rather go to the pub!
(, Sat 8 Mar 2014, 20:43, Reply)
italics are for pricks and cunts

(, Sat 8 Mar 2014, 20:44, Reply)
Yer, me and frog

(, Sat 8 Mar 2014, 20:47, Reply)
mebbe it was the height of her gunt

(, Sat 8 Mar 2014, 20:31, Reply)
Anything over 5'7'' & a size ten was apparently too much - selection critria may have changed since - she was born in 1979 so this is going back a while.

(, Sat 8 Mar 2014, 20:45, Reply)
You must have really looked up to your sister

(, Sat 8 Mar 2014, 20:48, Reply)
Did your parents like her more than you then?

(, Sat 8 Mar 2014, 20:54, Reply)
Who wouldn't?

(, Sat 8 Mar 2014, 20:55, Reply)
I'll be honest, I'd prefer if she posted here instead of you

(, Sat 8 Mar 2014, 20:58, Reply)
I'd like mrs ex battered to post
I feel like we need to hear her side of the story
(, Sat 8 Mar 2014, 21:00, Reply)
I wonder if she still lurks

(, Sat 8 Mar 2014, 21:00, Reply)
Probably collecting evidence for bye impending court case

(, Sat 8 Mar 2014, 21:04, Reply)
Court shit all done.

(, Sat 8 Mar 2014, 21:07, Reply)
Have you got basic agreements and understandings then?

(, Sat 8 Mar 2014, 21:10, Reply)
Mind your own business you nosy cunt.

(, Sat 8 Mar 2014, 21:16, Reply)
I've done a divorce
No kids involved, though.
(, Sat 8 Mar 2014, 21:18, Reply)
So what?

(, Sat 8 Mar 2014, 21:19, Reply)
Don't be angry, Mr Battered.
I was only enquiring politely.
(, Sat 8 Mar 2014, 21:21, Reply)
To think you would have killed for that extra inch

(, Sat 8 Mar 2014, 20:38, Reply)
clicken dis

(, Sat 8 Mar 2014, 20:38, Reply)
I'll never tire of taking the piss out of battered diminutive stature
If we we ever meet I'll pat him on the head
(, Sat 8 Mar 2014, 20:48, Reply)
In a Benny Hill style?

(, Sat 8 Mar 2014, 20:49, Reply)
No you fucking won't.

(, Sat 8 Mar 2014, 20:52, Reply)
lol

(, Sat 8 Mar 2014, 20:54, Reply)
Indeed

(, Sat 8 Mar 2014, 20:58, Reply)
Alright shit cunts?

(, Sat 8 Mar 2014, 20:36, Reply)
not bad ta
i haz food and beer, the world is good
(, Sat 8 Mar 2014, 20:41, Reply)
I have burnt the fuck out of my mouth on a pizza :(

(, Sat 8 Mar 2014, 20:48, Reply)
Hipster

(, Sat 8 Mar 2014, 20:53, Reply)
It's all swollen up :(

(, Sat 8 Mar 2014, 21:00, Reply)
Good.

(, Sat 8 Mar 2014, 21:08, Reply)
^ schadenfreudelols

(, Sat 8 Mar 2014, 21:10, Reply)
Schadenfreude is underrated.

(, Sat 8 Mar 2014, 21:15, Reply)
I always enjoy it

(, Sat 8 Mar 2014, 21:17, Reply)
Have you seen Ken Oath's recent post on QOTW? Top, top, top.

(, Sat 8 Mar 2014, 21:19, Reply)
What is it with weird Aussies on here

(, Sat 8 Mar 2014, 21:27, Reply)
Oathsy's alright

(, Sat 8 Mar 2014, 21:43, Reply)
yer he is an' all

(, Sat 8 Mar 2014, 21:43, Reply)
alright

(, Sat 8 Mar 2014, 21:48, Reply)
alright

(, Sat 8 Mar 2014, 21:49, Reply)
Yes, great stuff
I really thought he was setting himself up for a fall until that last line
(, Sat 8 Mar 2014, 21:42, Reply)
Read it now
Dun a lol
(, Sat 8 Mar 2014, 21:50, Reply)

lol piss in my own mouth
(, Sat 8 Mar 2014, 21:51, Reply)
*pats*

(, Sat 8 Mar 2014, 21:15, Reply)
* kick shins to death *

(, Sat 8 Mar 2014, 21:16, Reply)
alright quenders

(, Sat 8 Mar 2014, 21:26, Reply)
Sympathy rwply

(, Sat 8 Mar 2014, 21:32, Reply)
hwy babe

(, Sat 8 Mar 2014, 21:33, Reply)
It's mwy or the hwhy

(, Sat 8 Mar 2014, 21:34, Reply)
alright Fred Durst

(, Sat 8 Mar 2014, 21:43, Reply)
Fucking hell is this thread still going?
Someone be a darling and start a new one
(, Sat 8 Mar 2014, 21:48, Reply)
Shut up

(, Sat 8 Mar 2014, 21:52, Reply)
You got lock jaw by any chance?

(, Sat 8 Mar 2014, 21:55, Reply)

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