Yeah, whatevs.
I'm not at work tomorrow. Who else isn't at work tomorrow? Most of you it would seem judging by the regularity of which you all post despite having jobs. That sportscow for one. How he finds time to post when he's supposed to be making beef madras in the Rupali's kitchen I don't know. Probably wanks into the raita an' all.

Alt: I dunno, something about tomorrow's lunch; get in there early and whatnot.
( Davros' Granddad a voice of calm reason in a world of spastics., Tue 11 Mar 2014, 20:45, 125 replies, latest was 10 years ago)

I has no time to post during the day :(
Dunno about lunch yet

MOAR NEWS AS IT HAPPENS
( hartley hare Just some prick who thinks it doesn't apply to him, Tue 11 Mar 2014, 20:47, Reply)

Excellent internetting hh.
Keep it up!
( Davros' Granddad a voice of calm reason in a world of spastics., Tue 11 Mar 2014, 20:48, Reply)

\o/

( hartley hare Just some prick who thinks it doesn't apply to him, Tue 11 Mar 2014, 20:51, Reply)

Shut up HH.

( Fucking hell Jeff I am not a robot, Tue 11 Mar 2014, 20:49, Reply)

Darling! You came!!!

( Davros' Granddad a voice of calm reason in a world of spastics., Tue 11 Mar 2014, 20:51, Reply)

Hi honey!

( Fucking hell Jeff I am not a robot, Tue 11 Mar 2014, 20:52, Reply)

That's a smashing blouse you're wearing.
It sets of your eyes nicely.
( Davros' Granddad a voice of calm reason in a world of spastics., Tue 11 Mar 2014, 21:00, Reply)

* blushes *

( Fucking hell Jeff I am not a robot, Tue 11 Mar 2014, 21:06, Reply)

I love it when your cheeks turn red.

( Davros' Granddad a voice of calm reason in a world of spastics., Tue 11 Mar 2014, 21:12, Reply)

Sorry I made you sleep in the wet patch last time.
I'll make it up to you. xx
( Fucking hell Jeff I am not a robot, Tue 11 Mar 2014, 21:15, Reply)

Just swallow next time, yeah?
It's not too much to ask ffs, especially as I loaned you those stilts so you could reach. Jesus...
( Davros' Granddad a voice of calm reason in a world of spastics., Tue 11 Mar 2014, 21:17, Reply)

I love it when you call me that.

( Fucking hell Jeff I am not a robot, Tue 11 Mar 2014, 21:20, Reply)

I love fucking the holes in your hands...

( Davros' Granddad a voice of calm reason in a world of spastics., Tue 11 Mar 2014, 21:21, Reply)

There's no stigma(ta) in that.

( Fucking hell Jeff I am not a robot, Tue 11 Mar 2014, 21:23, Reply)

Bit of a thorny subject, though...

( Davros' Granddad a voice of calm reason in a world of spastics., Tue 11 Mar 2014, 21:24, Reply)

Seriously though...
I wouldn't want to be Jesus. Carpenter, prophet, teacher - any job I did, I'd end up being hammered with tacks!!!
( Davros' Granddad a voice of calm reason in a world of spastics., Tue 11 Mar 2014, 21:25, Reply)

+ Jew.

( Fucking hell Jeff I am not a robot, Tue 11 Mar 2014, 21:26, Reply)

I'll rise above it.
Might take me 3 days or so mind.
( Fucking hell Jeff I am not a robot, Tue 11 Mar 2014, 21:26, Reply)

Is this your thing now then eh?
Just lurk and wait for me to post so you can deliver this excellent witty and may I say knock-out punch line????
( hartley hare Just some prick who thinks it doesn't apply to him, Tue 11 Mar 2014, 20:51, Reply)

You're not worth the effort.
Also: shut up.
( Fucking hell Jeff I am not a robot, Tue 11 Mar 2014, 20:53, Reply)

Well you're certainly making one just for me
I feel deeply honoured
( hartley hare Just some prick who thinks it doesn't apply to him, Tue 11 Mar 2014, 20:56, Reply)

Where's my gin?

( Fucking hell Jeff I am not a robot, Tue 11 Mar 2014, 20:57, Reply)

Not down the cellar anymore, I've cleared it all out and have a dehumidifier down there now
My summer job is to tank the cellar and turn it into media room
( hartley hare Just some prick who thinks it doesn't apply to him, Tue 11 Mar 2014, 20:59, Reply)

So where is it then?

( Fucking hell Jeff I am not a robot, Tue 11 Mar 2014, 21:07, Reply)

I dont know in a storage box in one of the rooms I think, wifey did the cellar emptying last week

( hartley hare Just some prick who thinks it doesn't apply to him, Tue 11 Mar 2014, 21:09, Reply)

Get a grip HH.

( Fucking hell Jeff I am not a robot, Tue 11 Mar 2014, 21:13, Reply)

actally there was a box down there witha bout 6 pairs of bike grips, so thats that box ticked

( hartley hare Just some prick who thinks it doesn't apply to him, Tue 11 Mar 2014, 21:18, Reply)

You do know about Sportscow ethnicity
Rupali's kitchen is where he probably has his second job
( hartley hare Just some prick who thinks it doesn't apply to him, Tue 11 Mar 2014, 20:58, Reply)

I am well aware of this; I've met him three times
the dirty paki cunt.
( Davros' Granddad a voice of calm reason in a world of spastics., Tue 11 Mar 2014, 20:59, Reply)

Didn't you get him very drunk one time?

( hartley hare Just some prick who thinks it doesn't apply to him, Tue 11 Mar 2014, 21:01, Reply)

Not me, it was only at lunchtimes.
Actually, yeah, the muslim non-drinking lightweight.
( Davros' Granddad a voice of calm reason in a world of spastics., Tue 11 Mar 2014, 21:02, Reply)

He often brags about his lunch time Peroni sessions

( hartley hare Just some prick who thinks it doesn't apply to him, Tue 11 Mar 2014, 21:04, Reply)

He's such a bud-bud ding-ding.

( JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Tue 11 Mar 2014, 21:09, Reply)

WASSUP

( hartley hare Just some prick who thinks it doesn't apply to him, Tue 11 Mar 2014, 21:11, Reply)

Shattered and busy.
And I don't have tomorrow off like DG.
( JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Tue 11 Mar 2014, 21:13, Reply)

You still bashing on the 22nd?

( Fucking hell Jeff I am not a robot, Tue 11 Mar 2014, 21:14, Reply)

yeah.
Off to Edinburgh the week before for a couple of days, let me know if you'd like a botdog hand delivered to the in laws.
( JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Tue 11 Mar 2014, 21:15, Reply)

I can recommend a couple of good places to eat & booze if you'd like.
Are you going to meet up with The Mighty Badger when you're there. You should. Top chap.
( Fucking hell Jeff I am not a robot, Tue 11 Mar 2014, 21:18, Reply)

He didn't come top the Edinbash 5 years ago, despite saying he would.
Therefore he's a cunt. And he's sprogged up now so he's probably too busy sniffing nappies, the fucking baldy deviant.
( Davros' Granddad a voice of calm reason in a world of spastics., Tue 11 Mar 2014, 21:21, Reply)

I'm hoping there will be drinking opportunities
As at the moment I'll be there 2 days for one 3 hour meeting.
( JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Tue 11 Mar 2014, 21:24, Reply)

You MUST eat here. It's superb.
www.lescargotbleu.co.uk/
( Fucking hell Jeff I am not a robot, Tue 11 Mar 2014, 21:28, Reply)

*inserts picture of swipe's minge*

( Davros' Granddad a voice of calm reason in a world of spastics., Tue 11 Mar 2014, 21:41, Reply)

* decides not to cook supper after all *

( Fucking hell Jeff I am not a robot, Tue 11 Mar 2014, 21:46, Reply)

Surely that would be l'escargot rouge?

( hartley hare Just some prick who thinks it doesn't apply to him, Tue 11 Mar 2014, 21:47, Reply)

What, nothing at all for this?

( hartley hare Just some prick who thinks it doesn't apply to him, Tue 11 Mar 2014, 21:59, Reply)

To be fair my day off isn't through choice, but via a 2 day a week contract.

( Davros' Granddad a voice of calm reason in a world of spastics., Tue 11 Mar 2014, 21:14, Reply)

*Pours pint it was in reference to this advert*
www.youtube.com/watch?v=UDTZCgsZGeA
( hartley hare Just some prick who thinks it doesn't apply to him, Tue 11 Mar 2014, 21:15, Reply)

I've got tomorrow afternoon off
Gonna play a little gig in the afternoon.

Alt: alright davvo
( tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Tue 11 Mar 2014, 21:08, Reply)

Yeah.
Tomorrow shall be mostly spent filling in job applications, mainlining coffee and letting the dog out for a shit.
( Davros' Granddad a voice of calm reason in a world of spastics., Tue 11 Mar 2014, 21:11, Reply)

Tomorrow I will spend the day with Micro. Haven't had any contact for a week, which is the longest since she was born.

( Fucking hell Jeff I am not a robot, Tue 11 Mar 2014, 21:12, Reply)

Your day sounds slightly more fulfilling than mine.

( Davros' Granddad a voice of calm reason in a world of spastics., Tue 11 Mar 2014, 21:13, Reply)

I went two nights without any sleep last week from the stress & only about 4 hours a night on other days.
I don't know how Boyce went through similar stuff for so long without ending up in a loony bin.
( Fucking hell Jeff I am not a robot, Tue 11 Mar 2014, 21:17, Reply)

He's managed to stay about from them

( hartley hare Just some prick who thinks it doesn't apply to him, Tue 11 Mar 2014, 21:19, Reply)

Is he still getting to see little Riefenstahl?

( tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Tue 11 Mar 2014, 21:19, Reply)

Yep. In to quite a regular pattern of access as I understand it.

( Fucking hell Jeff I am not a robot, Tue 11 Mar 2014, 21:22, Reply)

That's got to give you some hope eh?
His ex was proper mental by all accounts
( tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Tue 11 Mar 2014, 21:24, Reply)

Yeah, but Battered's ex is ginger.
I'm afraid that there's no hope. All we can do is pray for him and hope that his ex suffers from a serious tea-dunking incident brought about by a somewhat myopic pensioner thinking she was a biscuit.
( Davros' Granddad a voice of calm reason in a world of spastics., Tue 11 Mar 2014, 21:28, Reply)

Kitchen lol.

( Fucking hell Jeff I am not a robot, Tue 11 Mar 2014, 21:30, Reply)

I really hope it doesn't get to that. I've seen the impact it had on him & his daughter, Not sure I'm as strong at coping as he was.

( Fucking hell Jeff I am not a robot, Tue 11 Mar 2014, 21:29, Reply)

Yeah, but he deleted his account and killed himself.
Despite the evidence on facebook the other day, I firmly believe that Stunned carries a lifesize cardboard cut-out of Monty around with him for deception purposes.
( Davros' Granddad a voice of calm reason in a world of spastics., Tue 11 Mar 2014, 21:36, Reply)

It's so he can order two pints and two doubles at the bar without looking like a complete piss head

( hartley hare Just some prick who thinks it doesn't apply to him, Tue 11 Mar 2014, 21:38, Reply)

Following previous encounters with Stunned I can confirm this is 100% true.

( Fucking hell Jeff I am not a robot, Tue 11 Mar 2014, 21:39, Reply)

I've only met him once
but he towered above me so much that my suntan instantly wore off :-(
( Davros' Granddad a voice of calm reason in a world of spastics., Tue 11 Mar 2014, 21:40, Reply)

He's a ridiculous 8 foot tall lumux.
With a cowlick.
( Fucking hell Jeff I am not a robot, Tue 11 Mar 2014, 21:43, Reply)

I've heard hes a gental giant, unless you're Barryfromeastenders that is

( hartley hare Just some prick who thinks it doesn't apply to him, Tue 11 Mar 2014, 21:44, Reply)

+i

(katie hopkins telling it where its at, Tue 11 Mar 2014, 21:45, Reply)

Fanks for that I wondered where I left it

( hartley hare Just some prick who thinks it doesn't apply to him, Tue 11 Mar 2014, 21:48, Reply)

Liam asked for everything he got. The thieving little shit.
( Fucking hell Jeff I am not a robot, Tue 11 Mar 2014, 21:45, Reply)

I met him once.

( Davros' Granddad a voice of calm reason in a world of spastics., Tue 11 Mar 2014, 21:50, Reply)

I met him as well. The little cunt.

( Fucking hell Jeff I am not a robot, Tue 11 Mar 2014, 21:50, Reply)

I met him before Stunnedgate.
He seemed OK apart from the whole being a student thing.
( Davros' Granddad a voice of calm reason in a world of spastics., Tue 11 Mar 2014, 21:52, Reply)

I met him a couple of times before Stunnedgate.
Even more vain than Dozer. Had a track record of behaving like a shit - including one incident where he stole his mother's credit card and went on a weekend binge which cost her thousands.
( Fucking hell Jeff I am not a robot, Tue 11 Mar 2014, 21:54, Reply)

I missed out on a lot
when work decided to ban access to a puerile comedy website on the basis that it probably had little bearing on the organisation's output. Despite the fact that I produced some of my best work at the time, in both senses.
( Davros' Granddad a voice of calm reason in a world of spastics., Tue 11 Mar 2014, 22:00, Reply)

Ever thought of setting up your own business?

( Fucking hell Jeff I am not a robot, Tue 11 Mar 2014, 22:01, Reply)

Occasionally.
The problem is you need money to do so and I ain't got no money.

I did run an art stall for a bit; did OK from commissions. Thinking about that again.
( Davros' Granddad a voice of calm reason in a world of spastics., Tue 11 Mar 2014, 22:06, Reply)

Sounds like it's worth thinking about. Plus you could do this outside of working hours.

( Fucking hell Jeff I am not a robot, Tue 11 Mar 2014, 22:09, Reply)

Now just a speed bump on the M25

( hartley hare Just some prick who thinks it doesn't apply to him, Tue 11 Mar 2014, 21:51, Reply)

Every time a car rolls over it a little puff of powder is squeased out.

( Davros' Granddad a voice of calm reason in a world of spastics., Tue 11 Mar 2014, 21:56, Reply)

I know, I know micros name but do you really want to let this lot know it and all?

( hartley hare Just some prick who thinks it doesn't apply to him, Tue 11 Mar 2014, 21:13, Reply)

Whoops! Edited. Ta for pointing that out.

( Fucking hell Jeff I am not a robot, Tue 11 Mar 2014, 21:15, Reply)

SHUT UP

( hartley hare Just some prick who thinks it doesn't apply to him, Tue 11 Mar 2014, 21:15, Reply)

Yeah, he nearly let Princess Stella's name out of the bag there!

( Davros' Granddad a voice of calm reason in a world of spastics., Tue 11 Mar 2014, 21:16, Reply)

About time you were offered something permanent with unlimited internet access

( tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Tue 11 Mar 2014, 21:14, Reply)

Try telling prospective employers that...

( Davros' Granddad a voice of calm reason in a world of spastics., Tue 11 Mar 2014, 21:15, Reply)

I'll let them know if I see them

( tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Tue 11 Mar 2014, 21:16, Reply)

You do that.
I could see myself in Rory's property empire calling his tenants no-good cunts. That's pretty much what I did when I worked for the Jobcentre. Right, kids?
( Davros' Granddad a voice of calm reason in a world of spastics., Tue 11 Mar 2014, 21:19, Reply)

^ This ^

( hartley hare Just some prick who thinks it doesn't apply to him, Tue 11 Mar 2014, 21:16, Reply)

Whoops ment to ask how is Tourettes?

( hartley hare Just some prick who thinks it doesn't apply to him, Tue 11 Mar 2014, 21:44, Reply)

She's fine.
In the kitchen where she belongs. Her small feet make her a natural at the oven.
( Davros' Granddad a voice of calm reason in a world of spastics., Tue 11 Mar 2014, 21:49, Reply)

Throw her a wave and blow her a kiss from me
have you two heard from Blousey at all?
( hartley hare Just some prick who thinks it doesn't apply to him, Tue 11 Mar 2014, 21:50, Reply)

She was up a couple of weeks ago for the missus' birthday.
I called her a cunt on behalf of this board.
( Davros' Granddad a voice of calm reason in a world of spastics., Tue 11 Mar 2014, 21:51, Reply)

I liked Blousey she was alright

( hartley hare Just some prick who thinks it doesn't apply to him, Tue 11 Mar 2014, 21:53, Reply)

I concur with this statement

( Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Tue 11 Mar 2014, 21:53, Reply)

She's a sweetheart.

( Davros' Granddad a voice of calm reason in a world of spastics., Tue 11 Mar 2014, 21:54, Reply)

Agreed

(Captain Placid 24/7 ball gags, brownie mix and clown porn, Tue 11 Mar 2014, 22:09, Reply)

Alright ballbags?

( Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Tue 11 Mar 2014, 21:48, Reply)

\o/
alright Nakypoo?
( hartley hare Just some prick who thinks it doesn't apply to him, Tue 11 Mar 2014, 21:49, Reply)

Yer, watching a F1 season preview
Wfh tomorrow, plus new cleaner is coming to sort out the house and iron my faackin shirts
( Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Tue 11 Mar 2014, 21:51, Reply)

I hope she doesn't forget the one that you will be wearing at the time

( hartley hare Just some prick who thinks it doesn't apply to him, Tue 11 Mar 2014, 21:52, Reply)

I'll be out, I don't like the small talk

( Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Tue 11 Mar 2014, 21:53, Reply)

No doubt getting into more Fowl related mischief

( hartley hare Just some prick who thinks it doesn't apply to him, Tue 11 Mar 2014, 21:55, Reply)

Not unless Costa have built a pond by the fridges

( Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Tue 11 Mar 2014, 21:56, Reply)

In a Costa there is bound to be a swallow or two

( hartley hare Just some prick who thinks it doesn't apply to him, Tue 11 Mar 2014, 21:57, Reply)

^ this ^
Conversation with those below stairs should be avoided whenever possible.

I find this is made easier by employing illegal immigrants who don't speak English.
( Fucking hell Jeff I am not a robot, Tue 11 Mar 2014, 21:55, Reply)

Well, I've never been called THAT before.

( Davros' Granddad a voice of calm reason in a world of spastics., Tue 11 Mar 2014, 21:49, Reply)

If you like it, I'll remember for next time.

( Fucking hell Jeff I am not a robot, Tue 11 Mar 2014, 21:51, Reply)

Never been called it, but love to cup it

( Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Tue 11 Mar 2014, 21:51, Reply)

+ touch kids on the cunt.

( Davros' Granddad a voice of calm reason in a world of spastics., Tue 11 Mar 2014, 21:53, Reply)

Undoubtably
I've sprayed otravine too far up my nose and now my brain is burning a little
( Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Tue 11 Mar 2014, 21:55, Reply)

Evenin' all
I will be 'working' tomorrow. Had a long day today - up to Barrow in Furness and back to demonstrate a machine.
Alt: Tomorrow's lunch is likely to be some form of fast food. Help me choose between KFC, McD's or Burger King?
(Captain Placid 24/7 ball gags, brownie mix and clown porn, Tue 11 Mar 2014, 21:58, Reply)

^ BOLLOCKHEAD ^

( Fucking hell Jeff I am not a robot, Tue 11 Mar 2014, 21:58, Reply)

That still makes me laugh.

( JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Tue 11 Mar 2014, 22:01, Reply)

Me too.

( Fucking hell Jeff I am not a robot, Tue 11 Mar 2014, 22:01, Reply)

me three

( hartley hare Just some prick who thinks it doesn't apply to him, Tue 11 Mar 2014, 22:02, Reply)

You should definitely go to KFC

( Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Tue 11 Mar 2014, 22:01, Reply)

Take sandwiches.

( JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Tue 11 Mar 2014, 22:01, Reply)

Dave Brubeck's less successful etc zzzzzzzzz

( Davros' Granddad a voice of calm reason in a world of spastics., Tue 11 Mar 2014, 22:04, Reply)

Find a Wimpy.
Order a 'Bender in a Bun'

Tell the Internet

Be judged.
( JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Tue 11 Mar 2014, 22:06, Reply)

Perfect time for Jayson to turn up

( hartley hare Just some prick who thinks it doesn't apply to him, Tue 11 Mar 2014, 22:07, Reply)

Does Wimpy still exist?
Haven't seen one in ages - the Wimpy that is, there's benders everywhere.
(Captain Placid 24/7 ball gags, brownie mix and clown porn, Tue 11 Mar 2014, 22:08, Reply)

Did they not get the name from the cartoon Popeye?

( hartley hare Just some prick who thinks it doesn't apply to him, Tue 11 Mar 2014, 22:11, Reply)

Shut up HH.

( Fucking hell Jeff I am not a robot, Tue 11 Mar 2014, 22:12, Reply)

Did that once, never again I tell you

( hartley hare Just some prick who thinks it doesn't apply to him, Tue 11 Mar 2014, 22:13, Reply)

Are you still in your interim job?

( Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Tue 11 Mar 2014, 22:14, Reply)

Yes, I'm getting far to settled at it Nakers.
I really should be getting back on the horse
( hartley hare Just some prick who thinks it doesn't apply to him, Tue 11 Mar 2014, 22:16, Reply)