alright
/lunch thread

Alt: it's likely that stamp duty is going to be set at 2% for the 250-300k band. What part of the Budget are you most looking forward to?

Alt alt: favourite limerick.
(dozers, do fuck off ur a nob m8, Wed 19 Mar 2014, 12:24, 142 replies, latest was 10 years ago)

When from?

(Bazongaloid, Wed 19 Mar 2014, 12:26, Reply)

don't know if it's from 2015 or from April
It's not even confirmed yet, just 'strongly indicated'. They could really do with making stamp duty progressive, but easing the 3% rate is a step in the right direction.
(dozers, do fuck off ur a nob m8, Wed 19 Mar 2014, 12:29, Reply)

They should bring in more rates
it should go:
0% up to £150K
1% up to £250K
1.5% up to £350K
2% up to 500K
3% up to 1mill
10% above that.
(Bazongaloid, Wed 19 Mar 2014, 12:31, Reply)

yeah I'd agree with that
And progressively applied like income tax.
(dozers, do fuck off ur a nob m8, Wed 19 Mar 2014, 12:33, Reply)

10% over £1million seems rather harsh.

( Fucking hell Jeff I am not a robot, Wed 19 Mar 2014, 12:36, Reply)

I'm proposing ten percent on the value over 1,000,000

(Bazongaloid, Wed 19 Mar 2014, 12:40, Reply)

oh come on, man
people who can afford that have surely paid enough into the system and shouldn't have to contribute another red cent...
( rachelswipe with a fork, Wed 19 Mar 2014, 12:43, Reply)

I really hope you get tit cancer, they have to chop one off and you get a serious back problem from being imbalanced.

(Bazongaloid, Wed 19 Mar 2014, 12:46, Reply)

:)

( rachelswipe with a fork, Wed 19 Mar 2014, 12:48, Reply)

and every time someone knocks into your shoulder when you're walking along
the weird distribution of weight causes you to pivot violently around so you drop your burrito.
(Bazongaloid, Wed 19 Mar 2014, 12:51, Reply)

that's just because you want to scrabble around behind me and lick my beans up from the floor

( rachelswipe with a fork, Wed 19 Mar 2014, 12:51, Reply)

cor!

(dozers, do fuck off ur a nob m8, Wed 19 Mar 2014, 12:52, Reply)

s
(localboy purveyor of pisspoor puns, Wed 19 Mar 2014, 12:57, Reply)

fuck off lokesy

(Bazongaloid, Wed 19 Mar 2014, 12:58, Reply)

where is the level of 'enough paid in'?
How is it calculated?
(dozers, do fuck off ur a nob m8, Wed 19 Mar 2014, 12:46, Reply)

i'm just trying to get al to bite, you muppet

( rachelswipe with a fork, Wed 19 Mar 2014, 12:49, Reply)

but you're such a typical Tory it sounded legit xx

(dozers, do fuck off ur a nob m8, Wed 19 Mar 2014, 12:50, Reply)

i do look at my pay slips and weep
but it's not the amount, it's how much of it gets wasted. fucking inept politicians.
( rachelswipe with a fork, Wed 19 Mar 2014, 12:51, Reply)

So does people other than me having a million to spunk on a gaudy Cheshire mansion
THEY SHOULD BE PUNISHED
( Kroney, Wed 19 Mar 2014, 12:41, Reply)

There was a young slag from Penzance.
Who boarded a bus in a trance.
Twenty four fucked her.
Plus the conductor.
And the driver came twice in his pants.
( Fucking hell Jeff I am not a robot, Wed 19 Mar 2014, 12:26, Reply)

Also, Stamp Duty is fucking stupid. It should graduate like tax, not apply to the entire cost of the house.

(Bazongaloid, Wed 19 Mar 2014, 12:26, Reply)

A tax that you're paying out of income you've already paid tax on.

( Fucking hell Jeff I am not a robot, Wed 19 Mar 2014, 12:28, Reply)

That applies to everything you buy that has VAT on it
that isn't what I have an issue with.
(Bazongaloid, Wed 19 Mar 2014, 12:29, Reply)

I'm not a fan of indirect taxation apart from on cigarettes & booze. It punishes the elderly & other groups with a limited income.

( Fucking hell Jeff I am not a robot, Wed 19 Mar 2014, 12:31, Reply)

And me. It punsihes me too. I buy a lot of petrol.
So I'm against it. I'm not against those things that don't direectly impact me though, because fuck old people.
( Kroney, Wed 19 Mar 2014, 12:33, Reply)

I certainly agree with that last sentiment.

( b3th Not shit. Not mod., Wed 19 Mar 2014, 12:36, Reply)

Ewwwww, that's fucking rank.

(Bazongaloid, Wed 19 Mar 2014, 12:37, Reply)

lol

( Kroney, Wed 19 Mar 2014, 12:37, Reply)

totally agree

(dozers, do fuck off ur a nob m8, Wed 19 Mar 2014, 12:29, Reply)

yeah, downwards
people buying nice 8 bedroom houses already contribute enough to the economy. let the proles buying their 1 bed flats and 2 bed houses do some of the work.
( rachelswipe with a fork, Wed 19 Mar 2014, 12:33, Reply)

no, those who can afford to pay more tax should be paying more tax.

(dozers, do fuck off ur a nob m8, Wed 19 Mar 2014, 12:38, Reply)

It's almost as though she's not a Socialist.

( Kroney, Wed 19 Mar 2014, 12:39, Reply)

Kerrazy!

(dozers, do fuck off ur a nob m8, Wed 19 Mar 2014, 12:39, Reply)

This is definitely true
but at the same time, everyone should contribute to the economy in whatever way they can, be that working, or community service, or whatever.
There's such a sense of entitlement in this country, without the slightest hint of the corresponding responsibility.
( b3th Not shit. Not mod., Wed 19 Mar 2014, 12:41, Reply)

I really hope this is sarcastic

(Bazongaloid, Wed 19 Mar 2014, 12:42, Reply)

and seemingly at all levels of society, judging by Swipe's post

(dozers, do fuck off ur a nob m8, Wed 19 Mar 2014, 12:42, Reply)

no, only the bottom levels
the top have done their bit, they should be given a break now
( rachelswipe with a fork, Wed 19 Mar 2014, 12:43, Reply)

no, we're all in this together
According to Gideon.
(dozers, do fuck off ur a nob m8, Wed 19 Mar 2014, 12:45, Reply)

A lot of the top levels of earners
don't seem to do very much to earn what they do.
I don't mean the ones who work 15 or 16 hours a day in shiny offices, so much as the ones who earn money by dint of 'having' money.
( b3th Not shit. Not mod., Wed 19 Mar 2014, 12:45, Reply)

i think the top 1% of earners pay 30% of the tax or something like that
they should be rewarded by a few years of not paying any tax or NI at all, for a nice holiday.
( rachelswipe with a fork, Wed 19 Mar 2014, 12:50, Reply)

Society works like this:
A) People are monumentally fucking selfish
B) People who have lots don't see why they should have to give any of it away because MINE
C) People who have nothing want some of everybody else's shit because I WANT STUFF
D) Everybody's a selfish fucking cunt and I hate them.
( Kroney, Wed 19 Mar 2014, 12:50, Reply)

I would like to subscribe to your newsletter.

( b3th Not shit. Not mod., Wed 19 Mar 2014, 12:52, Reply)

It's more of a burning rag through the letterbox than a letter

( tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Wed 19 Mar 2014, 12:54, Reply)

A burning rag wrapped around a dog egg.

( Kroney, Wed 19 Mar 2014, 12:55, Reply)

I was going to allow her to discover that little surprise by herself

( tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Wed 19 Mar 2014, 12:57, Reply)

There once was a lady from Ealing
Who had a peculiar feeling
Dozer's a prick.
( Je suis un vagabond is an unfunny, up your own arse middle class knob, Wed 19 Mar 2014, 12:26, Reply)

Clickin dis

( GeordieJay Bummers are deaf, Wed 19 Mar 2014, 12:46, Reply)

Seeing if Osborne has a drink and the ensuing WHISKY CHAT that might come about as a result of it.

( MEATSNAKE Richard Hammond, Wed 19 Mar 2014, 12:28, Reply)

The bit where Gideon goes
"oh no tax breaks, it's not the right time with the economy on a knife-edge, we've got to stick with being sensible"

and then giving everybody tax breaks and being all spendy spendy next year when it's more politically expedient.
( Kroney, Wed 19 Mar 2014, 12:29, Reply)

There was a young man named Keith
Who would circumcise boys with his teeth
He did it not for leisure,
Nor sexual pleasure
But to get to the cheese underneath
( Agnostic Antichrist Baltimora, Wed 19 Mar 2014, 12:30, Reply)

aren't there too many syllables in the third line?

(dozers, do fuck off ur a nob m8, Wed 19 Mar 2014, 12:31, Reply)

No

(Bazongaloid, Wed 19 Mar 2014, 12:32, Reply)

depends how you pronounce pleasure
"rape" in your case
( rachelswipe with a fork, Wed 19 Mar 2014, 12:35, Reply)

^ Can't count

( tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Wed 19 Mar 2014, 12:39, Reply)

it would also scan better as 'young man named Keith'

(dozers, do fuck off ur a nob m8, Wed 19 Mar 2014, 12:40, Reply)

i'm out for dinner
so had some skinny popcorn to push me through lunchtime.

alt: i don't think they'll do it this time, but raising interest rates back up will be interesting. quite a few people will be fuuuuucked.

altalt:

there was a "young" man named tom
who thought that he was the Bomb
but instead he bored everyone to-zzzzzzzzzzz
( rachelswipe with a fork, Wed 19 Mar 2014, 12:30, Reply)

terrible bullying of Richard McBeef

(dozers, do fuck off ur a nob m8, Wed 19 Mar 2014, 12:32, Reply)

interest rates aren't set by the government

(dozers, do fuck off ur a nob m8, Wed 19 Mar 2014, 12:32, Reply)

you know what i mean
the BofE have been making noises, but i don't think they'll do it quite yet. on the horizon though, imho.
( rachelswipe with a fork, Wed 19 Mar 2014, 12:33, Reply)

Carney is saying 3% by 2017
But you have to bear in mind that historically, mortgage rates were base rate plus 2 and base rates were inflation plus 2. It's unlikely to get back to those levels but when rates do rise it''ll be gradually and likely around 0.25% each time.

6% mortgage rates would fuck a lot of people.
(dozers, do fuck off ur a nob m8, Wed 19 Mar 2014, 12:37, Reply)

The moment they do, the economy will fucking tank.

(Bazongaloid, Wed 19 Mar 2014, 12:37, Reply)

i think they are frightened of this, but at some point it will have to happen
when i have to do complex interest calculations going back over a few years, it's amazing to think that it used to be up and down but up a LOT more than 0.5%. people on a budget with their mortgage will be in for a shock if it goes up to even 1%.
( rachelswipe with a fork, Wed 19 Mar 2014, 12:42, Reply)

forward guidance was sensible until the unemployment figures dropped too quickly

(dozers, do fuck off ur a nob m8, Wed 19 Mar 2014, 12:44, Reply)

Interest rates are set independently by the Bank of England.

( Fucking hell Jeff I am not a robot, Wed 19 Mar 2014, 12:33, Reply)

Err, interest rates aren't, erm, hang on, err...set by the government, they, err, are erm, set independently by the, errr, hold on a sec...er Bank of England.

( MEATSNAKE Richard Hammond, Wed 19 Mar 2014, 12:36, Reply)

sigh

( rachelswipe with a fork, Wed 19 Mar 2014, 12:39, Reply)

What's skinny popcorn?

(DBT became a fruitarian on, Wed 19 Mar 2014, 12:37, Reply)

metcalfesskinny.com/collections/frontpage?gclid=COX627DPnr0CFZDKtAodI18AWA
( rachelswipe with a fork, Wed 19 Mar 2014, 12:40, Reply)

I've had a cheese one before.

(DBT became a fruitarian on, Wed 19 Mar 2014, 12:45, Reply)

i've only had the chocolate crackle one
it's nice. crackly.
( rachelswipe with a fork, Wed 19 Mar 2014, 12:48, Reply)

Pork pies, cheddar cbeese, Branston pickle, pickled onions, pitta breads
Alt:
Beer and wine going up again

AltAlt:
County
( sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Wed 19 Mar 2014, 12:30, Reply)

Alt: the bit where he thought he saw a pussy cat

(Bonzodog29 is an unemployed sponge of the worst kind, Wed 19 Mar 2014, 12:32, Reply)

Alt: I hope they play Breadfan

( tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Wed 19 Mar 2014, 12:34, Reply)

I hope they play Raining Blood

(Bazongaloid, Wed 19 Mar 2014, 12:41, Reply)

Something about a song by some band called Budget.

( Kroney, Wed 19 Mar 2014, 12:47, Reply)

60p for first class!!
Mind you, who writes letters these days?

Altalt. Alison.
( GeordieJay Bummers are deaf, Wed 19 Mar 2014, 12:42, Reply)

Altlalt: There was a man named Hermoniges Phniggs
Who lived in Kilburn in terrible digs.
He changed his name to Eric Fruit
And now it won't rhyme
( tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Wed 19 Mar 2014, 12:43, Reply)

I can see why your band is so successful.

( Kroney, Wed 19 Mar 2014, 12:56, Reply)

Because I read a book of Spike Milligan poems when I was ten?

( tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Wed 19 Mar 2014, 12:59, Reply)

Oh right, yeah, I hadn't considered Spike Milligan's successful music career.

( Kroney, Wed 19 Mar 2014, 13:04, Reply)

He was an accomplished trumpeter and guitarist.

( tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Wed 19 Mar 2014, 13:12, Reply)

No he wasn't.

( Kroney, Wed 19 Mar 2014, 13:18, Reply)

What does Al think?

( tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Wed 19 Mar 2014, 13:24, Reply)

He thinks that you have jumped into the body of a 17 yr old downs sufferer
Oh Boy
(Bonzodog29 is an unemployed sponge of the worst kind, Wed 19 Mar 2014, 13:25, Reply)

Curse you, Ziggy!

( tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Wed 19 Mar 2014, 13:27, Reply)

Well, I'm not sure any of us expected a thread about stamp duty to get over 100 replies

( tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Wed 19 Mar 2014, 13:14, Reply)

Those of us who expected it to be 'fucking shit' were not surprised.

( MEATSNAKE Richard Hammond, Wed 19 Mar 2014, 13:15, Reply)

Firecracker Chicken toastie from that Eat place
it was "alright".
( The Light in Chains don't touch the Pope's boner, Wed 19 Mar 2014, 13:15, Reply)

rip rory
www.irishcentral.com/news/630-pound-Dublin-woman-dies-after-getting-stuck-in-bathroom.html?utm_source=outbrain&utm_medium=content&utm_campaign=paid
( rachelswipe with a fork, Wed 19 Mar 2014, 13:17, Reply)

I don't find it tragic when people die because they are so fat that they can't get up again after they fall down.
Once you're past the age of about 1-2 (and you don't have any other type of disability such as missing limbs, cerebal palsy, being dozer etc.) being unable to get up after you fall down is totally unacceptable.
(Bazongaloid, Wed 19 Mar 2014, 13:22, Reply)

I wonder if he will return a bit happier after some time away.
I doubt it though.
( GeordieJay Bummers are deaf, Wed 19 Mar 2014, 13:29, Reply)

What's the point in that, you'd hardly get a studio hovel in kilburn for that

( Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Wed 19 Mar 2014, 13:29, Reply)

The point is we need a new thread

( tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Wed 19 Mar 2014, 13:32, Reply)

i've had my eye on this place for ages
just as i think i might get fed up of london and move, they fucking well sell it :(

www.rightmove.co.uk/property-for-sale/property-28534561.html
( rachelswipe with a fork, Wed 19 Mar 2014, 13:40, Reply)

Osborne's gone crazy
30k triv comm, entire pension pot taken as cash, 15k ISA limit, 150 max gad, 12k flex drawdown.

Madness.
(dozers, do fuck off ur a nob m8, Wed 19 Mar 2014, 13:36, Reply)

brrrrrbrab 30k triv comm brrrrrbrab entire pension pot taken as cash brrrrrbrab 15k ISA limit brrrrrbrab 150 max gad brrrrrbrab 12k flex drawdown brrrrrbrab

( MEATSNAKE Richard Hammond, Wed 19 Mar 2014, 13:39, Reply)

inoerite
Huge changes in the pensions world.
(dozers, do fuck off ur a nob m8, Wed 19 Mar 2014, 13:40, Reply)