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(, Sun 1 Apr 2001, 1:00)
Pages: Latest, 836, 835, 834, 833, 832, ... 1

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So, right, Kurt Cobains 'so-called' suicide is to be re-examined nearly 20 years after his death, although everyone knows Dave Growl did it so he could start the Food Fighters and be a superstar front man in his own right.
What other made up conspiracy theories do you believe?
Alt: Dave Growl starting the Food Fighters was the best outcome, as the Food Fighters are the greatest band ever. What would you get rid of so something else can flourish?
Altalt: 'alright'
(, Fri 21 Mar 2014, 7:52, 155 replies, latest was 10 years ago)
the moon landings were faked

(, Fri 21 Mar 2014, 7:54, Reply)
that isnt a theory though that's been proven

(, Fri 21 Mar 2014, 7:57, Reply)
yeah because right the technology didn't exist
Even though you can see the landing site using nothing more than a commercially available telescope.
(, Fri 21 Mar 2014, 7:59, Reply)
I was marketing director for NASA in 2007/8
I would never have allowed a fake moon landing to take place
(, Fri 21 Mar 2014, 8:01, Reply)
I was Stanley Kubrick during the sixties and I filmed the fake moon landings

(, Fri 21 Mar 2014, 8:02, Reply)
oh yer ps Food Fighters were 'ok' in 1995.
That's it.
(, Fri 21 Mar 2014, 7:55, Reply)
the first album was 'okay'
Thats it
(, Fri 21 Mar 2014, 7:57, Reply)
yer, thats wot i said m8

(, Fri 21 Mar 2014, 7:58, Reply)
yeah me too m8

(, Fri 21 Mar 2014, 7:59, Reply)
you know who does some alright coats?
Jack Wolfskin.
(, Fri 21 Mar 2014, 8:00, Reply)
You prefer Jack Foreskin

(, Fri 21 Mar 2014, 8:00, Reply)
haha yeah im gay haha

(, Fri 21 Mar 2014, 8:04, Reply)
You are a bit though! hahaha!

(, Fri 21 Mar 2014, 8:04, Reply)
haha yeah i love cock in my bumbum haha

(, Fri 21 Mar 2014, 8:06, Reply)
woah there stready on this is a family forum

(, Fri 21 Mar 2014, 8:07, Reply)
woah sorry manuel I'll keep the profanity in check yeah

(, Fri 21 Mar 2014, 8:12, Reply)
Morning.

(, Fri 21 Mar 2014, 8:03, Reply)
Good Morning Jeff

(, Fri 21 Mar 2014, 8:04, Reply)
hello Jeffrey, how are you today?

(, Fri 21 Mar 2014, 8:04, Reply)
I think he killed himself because he realised he'd spent years writing incredibly shit music.
Either that, or he was just high as fuck, and thought the gun was a woodwind instrument.

Alt: I'd get rid of the fucker that keeps burning popcorn late at night, so that I can sleep without having the check the house isn't on fire.

AltAlt: Alright.
(, Fri 21 Mar 2014, 8:16, Reply)
Or.....DAVE GROWL, just sayin'

(, Fri 21 Mar 2014, 8:17, Reply)
alright AA
As a fan of 30 Seconds to Mars you're not in a very good position to be judging the output of Kurdt Kobain.
(, Fri 21 Mar 2014, 8:19, Reply)
soz, I meant 'You Me at Six'

(, Fri 21 Mar 2014, 8:21, Reply)
I see what you did there

(, Fri 21 Mar 2014, 8:56, Reply)
I'd get rid of Dozer in an attempt to improve B3ta.

(, Fri 21 Mar 2014, 8:28, Reply)
It wouldn't work. We'd be glad he's gone, but it wouldn't improve it.

(, Fri 21 Mar 2014, 8:29, Reply)
Let's get rid of him anyway.

(, Fri 21 Mar 2014, 8:31, Reply)
You make a good argument, i'm convinced. Okay then.

(, Fri 21 Mar 2014, 8:32, Reply)
but then there'd be no coat chat or drum n bass chat and then where would we be?

(, Fri 21 Mar 2014, 8:47, Reply)
I dunno, just go back to calling people fat and/or gay which is hilarious. Last week was quite fun I thought.

(, Fri 21 Mar 2014, 8:49, Reply)
jason is both fat and gay

(, Fri 21 Mar 2014, 8:51, Reply)
classic -__-

(, Fri 21 Mar 2014, 8:51, Reply)
now, what was different about last week? hmmmmmmm ....

(, Fri 21 Mar 2014, 9:20, Reply)
That clown 'Richard McBeef' wasn't here then.

(, Fri 21 Mar 2014, 9:21, Reply)
He's ruined this once thriving and happy community

(, Fri 21 Mar 2014, 9:24, Reply)
this place would die on its arse if i stopped posting

(, Fri 21 Mar 2014, 8:31, Reply)
It's worth taking the risk to find out.

(, Fri 21 Mar 2014, 8:35, Reply)

place hamster
on in
its my
(, Fri 21 Mar 2014, 8:45, Reply)
you do have a peculiar obsession

(, Fri 21 Mar 2014, 8:46, Reply)
I know, straws in drinks and separate glasses for booze, weird innit?

(, Fri 21 Mar 2014, 8:48, Reply)
she had psychochomp's cock in her mouth
This explains a lot.
(, Fri 21 Mar 2014, 8:52, Reply)

www.b3ta.com/questions/offtopic/post2243615
(, Fri 21 Mar 2014, 8:55, Reply)
I'm one of the UK's leading satirists.

(, Fri 21 Mar 2014, 8:57, Reply)
You're a machine that regurgetates shit 'jokes' ad nauseum, like Rory with punctuation

(, Fri 21 Mar 2014, 9:01, Reply)
he latches onto other people and goes on about them ad nauseam
in a desperate attempt to make them seem less hated than he is.

do not hate him, pity him.
(, Fri 21 Mar 2014, 9:02, Reply)
who cares? my head hurts
and I have to listen to a small hyperactive child read to me for an hour. and when I say read, I mean hide under the table, fight the other children over one crayon out of 200, draw a picture that looks like a cock but is apparently a giraffe, and show a most unhealthy interest in the contents of my bag/wallet/shoes
(, Fri 21 Mar 2014, 8:48, Reply)
so what?

(, Fri 21 Mar 2014, 8:49, Reply)
You're babysitting frog again?

(, Fri 21 Mar 2014, 8:52, Reply)
I have to, he says I owe him

(, Fri 21 Mar 2014, 9:05, Reply)
Ewwwww.

(, Fri 21 Mar 2014, 9:17, Reply)
???????????

(, Fri 21 Mar 2014, 9:18, Reply)
Sorry, misread that as own...

(, Fri 21 Mar 2014, 9:21, Reply)
AH! Well it's the other way round because she owes me £14.97 and she thinks she'll get away with it.
Not this time, especially after the 'Have you got any cash? Lincoln 2013 scandal'. I learnt the hard way there old son, true story.
(, Fri 21 Mar 2014, 9:23, Reply)
I feel for you man.

(, Fri 21 Mar 2014, 9:25, Reply)
money. he says i owe him money.

(, Fri 21 Mar 2014, 9:19, Reply)
Peter Grant knocked off Jim Morrison.

(, Fri 21 Mar 2014, 8:55, Reply)
I've had to do a full reinstall in my tablet. Bastard, someone's behind it.

(, Fri 21 Mar 2014, 8:57, Reply)
Wait, what's happened to Kurt Cobain?
I love The Nirvanas
(, Fri 21 Mar 2014, 8:57, Reply)
He heard you were recording a new album and shot his head off to avoid the minuscule/miniscule chance he'd ever hear it

(, Fri 21 Mar 2014, 8:59, Reply)
'drone folk'

(, Fri 21 Mar 2014, 9:00, Reply)
A band inspired entirely by 'Gloomy Sunday'

(, Fri 21 Mar 2014, 9:02, Reply)
KC would've loved the yurtsmiths

(, Fri 21 Mar 2014, 9:03, Reply)
of course he would have dear

(, Fri 21 Mar 2014, 9:05, Reply)
There are at least two bands in this list who couldn't play an instrument:
www.gigwise.com/news/87824/hand-written-list-of-kurt-cobains-favourite-albums-is-revealed-online
(, Fri 21 Mar 2014, 9:08, Reply)
Also, I like how this list is 'revealed online' some 20 years after it was revealed in print media

(, Fri 21 Mar 2014, 9:08, Reply)
Good to see 'Frogs' on there though

(, Fri 21 Mar 2014, 9:09, Reply)
I'd prefer to see them in a French kitchen

(, Fri 21 Mar 2014, 9:14, Reply)
He got an ice pick
That made his ears burn.
(, Fri 21 Mar 2014, 8:59, Reply)
I wish someone would strangle you

(, Fri 21 Mar 2014, 9:03, Reply)
I have a bacon bagette \o/

(, Fri 21 Mar 2014, 9:04, Reply)
no u

(, Fri 21 Mar 2014, 9:04, Reply)
^

(, Fri 21 Mar 2014, 9:05, Reply)
Meh.

(, Fri 21 Mar 2014, 9:06, Reply)
Good for you man.

(, Fri 21 Mar 2014, 9:06, Reply)
Totes got a sausage baguette here.

(, Fri 21 Mar 2014, 9:09, Reply)
Not really much to check was there?
Crazy man blows own face off - done. Shame really, I thought they would get better after the Unplugged album.

All the 9/11 stuff is well lol. The only odd bit is Building 7

Alt:
Pat Smear is fucking weird. I dont like him

AltAlt:
Yer. I just saw someone so engrossed in their phone that they walked into a lamppost, ended up starfished on the ground and broke his phone screen. LOL
(, Fri 21 Mar 2014, 9:05, Reply)
I saw an old man fall over, and spill a big jug of milk all over himself. That was lol.

(, Fri 21 Mar 2014, 9:08, Reply)
*falling fives*

(, Fri 21 Mar 2014, 9:12, Reply)
Good, or awful?
www.bbc.co.uk/news/entertainment-arts-26679515
(, Fri 21 Mar 2014, 9:06, Reply)
AWFUL
I cannot stand her voice.
(, Fri 21 Mar 2014, 9:07, Reply)
dont know dont care

(, Fri 21 Mar 2014, 9:07, Reply)
Alt: I'd get rid of Caps Lock
This would allow written communication to improve twenty-fold.
(, Fri 21 Mar 2014, 9:07, Reply)
^UPSET^

(, Fri 21 Mar 2014, 9:08, Reply)
BUT I@M TYPING THIS WITHOUT USING CAPS LOCK

(, Fri 21 Mar 2014, 9:10, Reply)
txtspk death would also help somewhat

(, Fri 21 Mar 2014, 9:10, Reply)
^ this.

(, Fri 21 Mar 2014, 9:11, Reply)
I fucking hate it and there is absolutely no need for it these days with predicted text

(, Fri 21 Mar 2014, 9:12, Reply)
I hate these cunts who can't spall properly.

(, Fri 21 Mar 2014, 9:13, Reply)
h8az gunnuh h8 lol

(, Fri 21 Mar 2014, 9:13, Reply)
lol mi computer dosnt hav predictive txt

(, Fri 21 Mar 2014, 9:13, Reply)
@gree wiv u m8

(, Fri 21 Mar 2014, 9:13, Reply)
^This^
I have a twelve year old nephew who puts a great deal of effort into making all of his written communication look as retarded as possible.
(, Fri 21 Mar 2014, 9:41, Reply)
My NePhEw WeNt ThRoUgH a PhAsE oF tHiS bOlLoCkS

(, Fri 21 Mar 2014, 9:42, Reply)
KidZ R Cuntz

(, Fri 21 Mar 2014, 10:04, Reply)
The success of Badly Drawn Boy in the early 2000s
was entirely down to every single Radio 1 DJ being afraid to stand up and say "Hang on... this is SHIT" in case everyone else (who also secretly thought exactly the same) mocked them for not being sufficiently down with the kids.

I believe this because there is literally no other possible explanation for why anyone would ever willingly listen to that shit.
(, Fri 21 Mar 2014, 9:22, Reply)
I think you're 'pissing in the wind' with that argument.

(, Fri 21 Mar 2014, 9:24, Reply)
DAMN YOU!
Steal my joke, will you?

*shakes fist at screen*
(, Fri 21 Mar 2014, 9:25, Reply)
The amount of times I've got in first, I'd say about....
...ONE PUN IN TEN DID
(, Fri 21 Mar 2014, 9:28, Reply)
You would be Once around the Block
before Sporters got his act together
(, Fri 21 Mar 2014, 9:37, Reply)
Haha! I like this.

(, Fri 21 Mar 2014, 9:40, Reply)
All sorts of dreary shite was being tolerated around that time
That's why everyone latched onto The Strokes when they first appeared - by comparison, they were fucking amazing.
(, Fri 21 Mar 2014, 9:25, Reply)
Two good songs
Rest complete toss
(, Fri 21 Mar 2014, 9:26, Reply)
Oh yeah, you heard everything you needed to hear from them on that first EP
To be fair to them though, I think there were three songs on it.
(, Fri 21 Mar 2014, 9:28, Reply)
But they were so DULL
Style chloroforming substance then defacating on it from a great height.

Although your point is valid
(, Fri 21 Mar 2014, 9:27, Reply)
Kids today - no respect.
Pop charts are full of rubbish.
Policemen getting younger.
NEw coins are fiddly.
(, Fri 21 Mar 2014, 9:28, Reply)
I'll go with this...
www.independent.co.uk/news/world/americas/susanne-atanus-who-believes-gay-rights-cause-tornadoes-and-autism-is-a-punishment-from-god-wins-illinois-republican-primary-9204598.html
(, Fri 21 Mar 2014, 9:30, Reply)
Alt: Women with big arses and small boobs
What's the point eh
(, Fri 21 Mar 2014, 9:31, Reply)
I like big arses.

(, Fri 21 Mar 2014, 9:32, Reply)
^cannot lie

(, Fri 21 Mar 2014, 9:33, Reply)
So do I
but I insist on norks to match
(, Fri 21 Mar 2014, 9:35, Reply)
i'm the other way around
and i'd prefer to swap. i look like a fucking trumpet, skinny legs and bum, rising up to far too wide at the chest.

there isn't any surgery to swap arse and chebs around, but there fucking should be. the man who invents that will be a millionaire.
(, Fri 21 Mar 2014, 9:54, Reply)
You could shit on your own chest then.

(, Fri 21 Mar 2014, 9:55, Reply)
man, how has this not been invented yet?

(, Fri 21 Mar 2014, 9:55, Reply)
*patents 'chanus'*

(, Fri 21 Mar 2014, 9:56, Reply)
My trousers exploded last night so now I'm at work in jeans :(

(, Fri 21 Mar 2014, 9:38, Reply)
You need to milk the balls more often

(, Fri 21 Mar 2014, 9:41, Reply)
It probably was my massive, swinging, bright blue gonads, yer.

(, Fri 21 Mar 2014, 9:45, Reply)
lolfatty

(, Fri 21 Mar 2014, 9:42, Reply)
They just fucking exploded, Tangles.
I've never seen anything like it. I was sat in my car last night looking like the Hulk.
(, Fri 21 Mar 2014, 9:44, Reply)
DEFCON BONGLE FAIL

(, Fri 21 Mar 2014, 9:46, Reply)
Gangrenous?
Bulgy?
Trying to convince people that you're really clever when you're not pissed off?
(, Fri 21 Mar 2014, 9:47, Reply)
Actually that analogy doesn't quite work
A longtime running joke about the Hulk is that when he changes all his other clothes tear but somehow his trousers stay intact
(, Fri 21 Mar 2014, 9:48, Reply)
Does that mean you get stronger the angrier you become?
If we all poke you for a bit are you going to snap and deliver the mother of all witty comebacks?
(, Fri 21 Mar 2014, 9:48, Reply)
I meant as in I looked as though my trousers exploded
there was no wider analogy intended.
(, Fri 21 Mar 2014, 9:51, Reply)
hoho

(, Fri 21 Mar 2014, 9:43, Reply)
A few questions arise.
1) You only own one pair of trousers?
2) How in shitting fuck does a pair explode? Diagrams where appropriate please.
(, Fri 21 Mar 2014, 9:45, Reply)
One pair of work trousers. Because that's all you need. In the wash at weekends.
Except when they explode, of course. Then you'd be best off with two pairs, as it turns out.
(, Fri 21 Mar 2014, 9:45, Reply)
You wear the same trousers for a week?
Do they not walk off on Fridays?
(, Fri 21 Mar 2014, 9:46, Reply)
Because I sit at a desk all day.
I don't know about you, but that isn't exactly strenuous work.
(, Fri 21 Mar 2014, 9:47, Reply)
I think they probably disintegrated rather than exploding.

(, Fri 21 Mar 2014, 9:48, Reply)
I'm getting mildly concerned at how sweaty you two seem to get from sitting down all day.
That ain't normal, lads. You might have heart conditions.
(, Fri 21 Mar 2014, 9:53, Reply)
I just like clean pants, truth be told

(, Fri 21 Mar 2014, 10:08, Reply)
By the sounds of it, I think it was trouser suicide

(, Fri 21 Mar 2014, 10:00, Reply)
I suspect the sheer effort of containing my heroically sized testicles simply overcame them.
I shall have to invest in a pair with a reinforced crotch.
(, Fri 21 Mar 2014, 10:02, Reply)
IT innit.
oh, wait...
(, Fri 21 Mar 2014, 9:51, Reply)
:o(

(, Fri 21 Mar 2014, 10:08, Reply)
Let's have a new thread eh?

(, Fri 21 Mar 2014, 9:59, Reply)
Post one quick before that faggot call centre pleb does.

(, Fri 21 Mar 2014, 10:04, Reply)
Homeless chap beat us to it :(

(, Fri 21 Mar 2014, 10:07, Reply)

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