Holiday
Best/worst holiday experiences?

Alt:
Garden woes
( sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Tue 25 Mar 2014, 14:05, 87 replies, latest was 10 years ago)

Have I ever told you about my trip to Tibet?

( Fucking hell Jeff I am not a robot, Tue 25 Mar 2014, 14:08, Reply)

Actually, no you've not

( sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Tue 25 Mar 2014, 14:09, Reply)

Didn't Brad Pitt so a film about it?

( GeordieJay Bummers are deaf, Tue 25 Mar 2014, 14:20, Reply)

Yeah
World War Z
( sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Tue 25 Mar 2014, 14:22, Reply)

I watched that the other night. Decent idea converted into a shit film. Shame.

(Reverend Fister "a disciplined fuckwit", Tue 25 Mar 2014, 14:25, Reply)

Wasn't too bad.
Again, the novel is better.
( GeordieJay Bummers are deaf, Tue 25 Mar 2014, 14:26, Reply)

It's fucking ridiculous.
humans, not matter how dead, do not act like a liquid. It is not possible for a pile of humans to swarm up a vertical wall.
(Bazongaloid, Tue 25 Mar 2014, 15:32, Reply)

best - too many to count. i'd have to include standing at the top of the grand canyon, the first night out on our 18 year old girls' holiday in greece, and snorkelling with turtles in the grenadines
worst - well, this hen do at the weekend is shaping up to be a disaster. the bride is an utter control freak. either sort it yourself or leave it to the bridesmaids, but not 6 of one, half a dozen of the other.

alt: my twin balconies are immaculate, ta.
( rachelswipe with a fork, Tue 25 Mar 2014, 14:13, Reply)

I know
Your FB photos confirm this
( sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Tue 25 Mar 2014, 14:24, Reply)

How comes you lot are all facebook mates too?
It's fine, Im not bothered...
( GeordieJay Bummers are deaf, Tue 25 Mar 2014, 14:29, Reply)

haha!
You've not turned up on a friends list thingy
( sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Tue 25 Mar 2014, 14:31, Reply)

That's possibly because outside this site, we don't connect, or even live in the nearby.
Ooer
( GeordieJay Bummers are deaf, Tue 25 Mar 2014, 14:34, Reply)

We do on twitter

( sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Tue 25 Mar 2014, 14:35, Reply)

Pretty sure there's a link to his facebook page on his twitter, so you must not want to be his friend or summat
/stalker
( tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Tue 25 Mar 2014, 14:36, Reply)

I genuinely didn't know that

( sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Tue 25 Mar 2014, 14:36, Reply)

course not......

( MEATSNAKE Richard Hammond, Tue 25 Mar 2014, 14:37, Reply)

Im probably worse on Facebook so folk may want to avoid my popular culture references and links.
And, erm... Stalk much?
( GeordieJay Bummers are deaf, Tue 25 Mar 2014, 14:38, Reply)

also you have public posts like a shit spastic who has no idea how to use the internet

( The Light in Chains don't touch the Pope's boner, Tue 25 Mar 2014, 15:21, Reply)

+ totach

( tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Tue 25 Mar 2014, 15:23, Reply)

I ent got nuffink to hide!

( GeordieJay Bummers are deaf, Tue 25 Mar 2014, 15:32, Reply)

So there is!
He looks less gay than I expected.
( Agnostic Antichrist Baltimora, Tue 25 Mar 2014, 14:46, Reply)

I think it's just a phase he's going through, he just needs to meet the right girl.

( tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Tue 25 Mar 2014, 14:49, Reply)

I joined a b3ta facebook group once
but I still didn't know who was who (apart from gonz) so I left it cos it was shit
( Bill Clay a.k.a. Claudio, Tue 25 Mar 2014, 14:44, Reply)

People keep "hilariously" renaming it

( sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Tue 25 Mar 2014, 14:45, Reply)

the bush near your gates could do with some pruning

( MEATSNAKE Richard Hammond, Tue 25 Mar 2014, 14:26, Reply)

He likes the velcro feel

( sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Tue 25 Mar 2014, 14:33, Reply)

We took a holiday with all our friends
It was a time to relax and let your worries behind. Exactly seven weeks or something crossed my mind. It was the shine of the time we never forget.
One morning our parents kicked us out of our beds. We told them it was stupid, don't play the fool. But the answer was short: "You gotta go to school!"
( tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Tue 25 Mar 2014, 14:14, Reply)

OK "Busted"

( sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Tue 25 Mar 2014, 14:34, Reply)

Never really had a bad holiday experience.
Have you noticed how all those horror stories about hotel building sites are by people who've booked cheapish package holidays, or those people that get stranded by airlines going bust are using companies that have been reporting serious financial difficulties ala Thomas Cook?

It's almost as though they're povvo retards who can't be fucked doing the slightest bit of research before handing over hundreds or thousands of pounds.

My worst holiday experience was that it got a bit cold in December in Berlin, which was hardly surprising since I'd checked the weather before going and packed appropriately.
( Kroney, Tue 25 Mar 2014, 14:15, Reply)

Carry On Abroad

( GeordieJay Bummers are deaf, Tue 25 Mar 2014, 14:39, Reply)

when I was a child we used to go and stay with my dad and sometimes go on shit camping holidays after he had taken his better kids somewhere nice.
One year I spent a lot of time pretending to be homesick and made him take me home, in reality it was because I had a fucking huge boil by my anus and was too embarrassed to tell him, the 'homesick' tears were remarkably easy to produce as a result of this.
( MEATSNAKE Richard Hammond, Tue 25 Mar 2014, 14:16, Reply)

ouch

( sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Tue 25 Mar 2014, 14:24, Reply)

ANAL BOILS???

( rachelswipe with a fork, Tue 25 Mar 2014, 15:12, Reply)

No thanks, I've just eaten

( sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Tue 25 Mar 2014, 15:15, Reply)

yeah you mentioned that already

( MEATSNAKE Richard Hammond, Tue 25 Mar 2014, 15:18, Reply)

hahahah!

( sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Tue 25 Mar 2014, 15:21, Reply)

A small insight into what my life is like now.

( MEATSNAKE Richard Hammond, Tue 25 Mar 2014, 15:22, Reply)

i hope it's crystal fucking clear who's blue and who's white...

( rachelswipe with a fork, Tue 25 Mar 2014, 15:24, Reply)

You're white and I'm the one with anal boils.

( MEATSNAKE Richard Hammond, Tue 25 Mar 2014, 15:25, Reply)

just checking

( rachelswipe with a fork, Tue 25 Mar 2014, 15:25, Reply)

NO YOU FUCKING AREN'T

( MEATSNAKE Richard Hammond, Tue 25 Mar 2014, 15:25, Reply)

*glove snap*

( rachelswipe with a fork, Tue 25 Mar 2014, 15:26, Reply)

*MEGACLENCH*

( MEATSNAKE Richard Hammond, Tue 25 Mar 2014, 15:26, Reply)

It's easy to see why she fell for you

( tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Tue 25 Mar 2014, 15:23, Reply)

he told me it was a penis :(

( rachelswipe with a fork, Tue 25 Mar 2014, 15:25, Reply)

Actually no really bad holiday experiences, apart from the odd flight delay.
Best holidays - Croatia, Turkey, Florida. Loved all of them.

Florida with 2 teenagers was brilliant, but hard graft getting up early most days to get to the parks to beat the crowds.

Croatia and Turkey - very relaxing, fantastic climate, great food and drink, did fuck all for 2 weeks apart from the odd day trip.

When we were in Croatia we took a day trip to Lake Bled in Slovenia, which was outstanding. Definitely recommend it, if you ever get the chance.
(Reverend Fister "a disciplined fuckwit", Tue 25 Mar 2014, 14:16, Reply)

Your teenagers or were you viewing from a distance?

( GeordieJay Bummers are deaf, Tue 25 Mar 2014, 14:20, Reply)

Through the binoculars they appeared to be having a great time, but obviously I couldn't make out their conversation..
As was I. In my hotel room. Behind the curtains.
(Reverend Fister "a disciplined fuckwit", Tue 25 Mar 2014, 14:21, Reply)

Holding them one handed makes it hard to focus

( sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Tue 25 Mar 2014, 14:23, Reply)

I need to learn how to wank tantrically.

(Reverend Fister "a disciplined fuckwit", Tue 25 Mar 2014, 14:26, Reply)

wanktric

( sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Tue 25 Mar 2014, 14:34, Reply)

Alt: No garden woes at all.
Quite enjoy gardening and recently taken on a smallish allotment. In the next week or two I hope to have my garden tidied up properly, and my allotment all planted up.
(Reverend Fister "a disciplined fuckwit", Tue 25 Mar 2014, 14:20, Reply)

I've never really had any bad holiday experiences.
Maybe when I was younger and I overindulged on alcohol on the last night when I was about 15. I sprayed my hotel room and the corridor with black sick.
Morning after I had to get up and finish packing. It was still along the corridor (and in the lift). My parents were mortified.
Think that was my last family one.

Alt. Ive cut my buddleia's back to roots level. Just finding a way to kill them. Have got some roundup XL for weeds. Nice.
Just need it to stop raining now.
( GeordieJay Bummers are deaf, Tue 25 Mar 2014, 14:19, Reply)

I'm sure most guest houses in Blackpool are well used to that sort of thing

( tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Tue 25 Mar 2014, 14:30, Reply)

Urgh. I hate Blackpool.
This was Majorca I think... NOT Magaluf.
( GeordieJay Bummers are deaf, Tue 25 Mar 2014, 14:35, Reply)

I once got prickly heat as a kid in Menorca
That really isnt fun.
( sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Tue 25 Mar 2014, 14:36, Reply)

Every fucking year I have to drive up the M6 to that cunting hole at Xmas
just because I married someone whose mum squeezed out another someone that decided to run a B&B in that shithole because 'oh, there's loads of room for all the families to come together out of season'. Why her lot can't be like my lot and just be vaguely aware that they might still live in the same country and keep the fucking family socialising to funerals is beyond me.
( Bill Clay a.k.a. Claudio, Tue 25 Mar 2014, 14:49, Reply)

Last time I was there a smack head got clipped by a car when he was wandering in the road.
He blamed the car and started to then harrass all subsequent cars that drove past.
( GeordieJay Bummers are deaf, Tue 25 Mar 2014, 14:55, Reply)

Corfu
My first hangover. Caused by a Greek 'cultural evening', key points being a Kumquat liquor tasting, copious red wine, food, retsina and vigorous dancing.
I had to be helped off the coach. The icing on the cake being that we were staying in a hotel with the delightful feature of the balcony overlooking the runway. My first hangover included real jumbos flying past my head from 5.30am.
(BeatsWork, Tue 25 Mar 2014, 14:19, Reply)

ouch
One of my first MAJOR hangovers had a fucking car alarm blaring out all bastard day. Were it not for the fact I couldn't get out of bed I'd have smashed the cunt to fuck
( sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Tue 25 Mar 2014, 14:32, Reply)

There should be an exemption
For car and house alarms that don't get fixed.
Let them know, and then it's either a bat or expanding foam..
(BeatsWork, Tue 25 Mar 2014, 14:40, Reply)

I can still feel the pain now
That was many, many Double Maxims followed by whisky
( sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Tue 25 Mar 2014, 14:42, Reply)

Freaky!
I too have repeatedly caused myself great suffering by the thought process "I am too full for more beer. If I drink more I will feel unwell - Better move on to whisky".
(BeatsWork, Tue 25 Mar 2014, 14:50, Reply)

I dont like whisky at all
This tells you how much Double Maxim was consumed prior to this decision
( sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Tue 25 Mar 2014, 14:57, Reply)

i just bought 20 books on amazon
this has made me very happy
( rachelswipe with a fork, Tue 25 Mar 2014, 15:00, Reply)

My first holiday without the folks was probably the worst
Camping with a mate in Wells-Next-The-Sea. Spunked the spending budget within the first two days on a Monopoly fruit machine after the thrills of crab fishing off the docks lost their allure. Sharing a tent meant I coudln't even console myself with an anger wank.

Taking the kids to Disneyland Paris was probably the best. They were at the right age and I had planned well to avoid too much queuing and smelly Frenchies.

Alt: Gardening can fuck right off. It's almost time to begin battle with the Frankenhedge again. It's about three different hedge types in one and impossible to get level.
( Bill Clay a.k.a. Claudio, Tue 25 Mar 2014, 15:01, Reply)

Almost a garden woe

(BeatsWork, Tue 25 Mar 2014, 15:02, Reply)

You have a FUCKING BIG garden

( sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Tue 25 Mar 2014, 15:06, Reply)

Very nearly had a flat, crispy bush block.
A wooden house was suddenly a bit of a concern as well.
The fire took out 350 acres just to the north. We had embers floating past..
(BeatsWork, Tue 25 Mar 2014, 15:09, Reply)

Sounds to me like a couple of local pubs set some shrubs on fire after a barbecue.

( Kroney, Tue 25 Mar 2014, 15:21, Reply)

shrimps on barbie, not shrubs

( sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Tue 25 Mar 2014, 15:22, Reply)

Start a new thread someone

( sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Tue 25 Mar 2014, 15:21, Reply)

Shan't

( tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Tue 25 Mar 2014, 15:33, Reply)

threadwoe

( sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Tue 25 Mar 2014, 15:33, Reply)