Gambling
With it being the National tomorrow, a day when non gamblers gamble. Do you enjoy a flutter or like me have you never put a bet on (bets with friends expected)

Alt: do you have a tip for the race... ACROSS THE BAY is mine.

Altalt: I am quite a prick are you?
(Bonzodog29 is an unemployed sponge of the worst kind, Fri 4 Apr 2014, 13:29, 121 replies, latest was 10 years ago)

i can't bear it when the horses get injured and die
so i refuse to watch it or bet on it.

alt: make the fences smaller so the horses don't get injured and die.

altalt: no, i'm LOVELY.
( rachelswipe with a fork, Fri 4 Apr 2014, 13:32, Reply)

Horses are shit cunts and deserve to die

( Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Fri 4 Apr 2014, 13:34, Reply)

no
you're thinking of people
( rachelswipe with a fork, Fri 4 Apr 2014, 13:42, Reply)

They already did make teh fences smaller
but the horses are shit...

I like it when they get their own special tent on the course though they must feel really cool chilling out with a beer while the other idiots are still running round.
(Bonzodog29 is an unemployed sponge of the worst kind, Fri 4 Apr 2014, 13:36, Reply)

officelol

( sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Fri 4 Apr 2014, 13:37, Reply)

>:(
this is like nakers lol-ing at the dead budgie thread :(
( rachelswipe with a fork, Fri 4 Apr 2014, 13:42, Reply)

yeah, but he thought he was just ending a tweet

(localboy purveyor of pisspoor puns, Fri 4 Apr 2014, 13:48, Reply)

I like betting on how many horses die.
Alt: make the fences BIGGAH for MOAR danger
Altalt: yes, I'm a spiteful cunt.
( MEATSNAKE Richard Hammond, Fri 4 Apr 2014, 13:33, Reply)

Alt
what about adding flamethrowers to the fences that go off at random times, make it like robot wars
(Bonzodog29 is an unemployed sponge of the worst kind, Fri 4 Apr 2014, 13:38, Reply)

I'd like to see a jousting element too.

( MEATSNAKE Richard Hammond, Fri 4 Apr 2014, 13:39, Reply)

YEAH!!!
they could get a quad bike going round the otherway on the inside of the fence thingy
(Bonzodog29 is an unemployed sponge of the worst kind, Fri 4 Apr 2014, 13:41, Reply)

THE GRAND SMASHNAL

( MEATSNAKE Richard Hammond, Fri 4 Apr 2014, 13:44, Reply)

hahaha

(Bonzodog29 is an unemployed sponge of the worst kind, Fri 4 Apr 2014, 13:45, Reply)

NO CRAIG CHARLES!!!

( GeordieJay Bummers are deaf, Fri 4 Apr 2014, 13:39, Reply)

Very occasional bets, yes
I have a good record of winning on the National though, for some reason

Alt:
Not even looked yet.

AltAlt:
I really am, yes
( sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Fri 4 Apr 2014, 13:34, Reply)

Monbeg Dude to win
Our Father e/w
( sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Fri 4 Apr 2014, 13:36, Reply)

I would go with Burton Port over Monbeg
and yes I had your father each way etc etc.
(Bonzodog29 is an unemployed sponge of the worst kind, Fri 4 Apr 2014, 13:37, Reply)

Lords prayer wank innit

( sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Fri 4 Apr 2014, 13:38, Reply)

I'm a very nice person irl

(dozers, do fuck off ur a nob m8, Fri 4 Apr 2014, 13:34, Reply)

Thought you were Scots, not Irish?

(localboy purveyor of pisspoor puns, Fri 4 Apr 2014, 13:37, Reply)

same thing innit

(dozers, do fuck off ur a nob m8, Fri 4 Apr 2014, 13:38, Reply)

woah, way to offend several million people, man
"hating the English" doesn't make them the same. Or they'd all be French.
(localboy purveyor of pisspoor puns, Fri 4 Apr 2014, 13:40, Reply)

alt: Avoid Liverpool at all costs
I had the misfortune to be transiting through the railway station there when a race meeting was on, a bigger load of slappers and weekend pretend Hooray Henrys in tweed and stupid long socks I have never before had the misfortune to encounter. Wankers of the first order the lot of em, Guv. What it was like later when they'd been on the piss all day I cannot imagine.
(localboy purveyor of pisspoor puns, Fri 4 Apr 2014, 13:36, Reply)

it's like that in York m8
Fackin race wankers.
(dozers, do fuck off ur a nob m8, Fri 4 Apr 2014, 13:37, Reply)

Hooray Henrys isn't used nearly enough

( GeordieJay Bummers are deaf, Fri 4 Apr 2014, 13:40, Reply)

"Other types of vacuum cleaner are avalible"

(Bonzodog29 is an unemployed sponge of the worst kind, Fri 4 Apr 2014, 13:42, Reply)

its a pretty racist tyerm

( Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Fri 4 Apr 2014, 13:46, Reply)

According to the internet
It was originally used in Britain to describe fans of Humph...
(Bonzodog29 is an unemployed sponge of the worst kind, Fri 4 Apr 2014, 13:50, Reply)

The Grand National is a load of old shit.
Those commoners from Liverpool have spoiled it by ambling about pissed, in stupid hats, before a horse even trots up.
That, and it's a bit cruel and not needed.

alt. no.

altalt. No you're not. Im not either.

WHY DON'T PEOPLE LIKE MY FREDS :( ??!!? :( #PrayForJason
( GeordieJay Bummers are deaf, Fri 4 Apr 2014, 13:36, Reply)

I bet on big races like the national, but I very seldom win
Alt: no

Altalt: massive
( Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Fri 4 Apr 2014, 13:36, Reply)

I have never placed a bet on anything
While I agree with TAFKAM up there ^ that its for mugs I do feel like I have missed out on a man element in my life
(Bonzodog29 is an unemployed sponge of the worst kind, Fri 4 Apr 2014, 13:43, Reply)

one of my ex's only had to look at a fruit machine and it started spitting out coins
misspent youth
( rachelswipe with a fork, Fri 4 Apr 2014, 13:45, Reply)

I played the Irish lottery, once, in a bookies and won.
I Never played again.

Alt: Yeah, don't fucking bother.

Alt Alt: Thin and pointy? nope.
( Muns, Fri 4 Apr 2014, 13:39, Reply)

what's the irish lottery?
a pound a year for the next million years?

or waiting to see how many of your 137 kids pop out retarded?
( rachelswipe with a fork, Fri 4 Apr 2014, 13:43, Reply)

totm?

( Muns, Fri 4 Apr 2014, 13:45, Reply)

nah
my family are irish, so
( rachelswipe with a fork, Fri 4 Apr 2014, 13:45, Reply)

Pick three numbers, 1-45 - they draw six, if all of your numbers are there, win £600 for your £1 stake.
The odds are about 1/1000 though, so it's a bit of a shit bet.
( Muns, Fri 4 Apr 2014, 13:49, Reply)

so it's basically like the national lottery, but more numbers and a smaller prize?
although i think you only get a tenner for three numbers here, so yeah ok i see what they did there
( rachelswipe with a fork, Fri 4 Apr 2014, 13:49, Reply)

Given that the chances of getting £10 on the UK lottery are about 1 in 1200
it sounds considerably better.

If you bet £1 in the bookies on a 1200-1 shit and it cane in, then they paid you £10 winnings, how annoyed would you be?
(localboy purveyor of pisspoor puns, Fri 4 Apr 2014, 13:52, Reply)

1/54 on the UK lottery I believe.
Although, £10 return is definitely still bollocks.
( Muns, Fri 4 Apr 2014, 13:56, Reply)

oh yeah - fuck knows where I got 1200 from....

(localboy purveyor of pisspoor puns, Fri 4 Apr 2014, 13:59, Reply)

The bookies can't take bets on the English lottery
So they take them on the Irish (and numerous other countries) versions instead.

To maximise revenue, they've set this pick three, match three from six numbers thing, although the difference between the payout and the odds is fucking massive. I do expect someone to come along soon with a proper calculation to correct my quick bit of mental arithmetic though.
( Muns, Fri 4 Apr 2014, 13:54, Reply)

given that most people here are spastics, i wouldn't take that bet

( rachelswipe with a fork, Fri 4 Apr 2014, 13:55, Reply)

Autistics are good with numbers though.

( Muns, Fri 4 Apr 2014, 13:56, Reply)

no one on here is proper autist though
we are just fucking useless
(Bonzodog29 is an unemployed sponge of the worst kind, Fri 4 Apr 2014, 14:06, Reply)

i couldn't be less aut
i have virtually no OCD and i love meeting new people. i'd love to catch tidying OCD, or to have a partner with it, that would be really useful
( rachelswipe with a fork, Fri 4 Apr 2014, 14:10, Reply)

*speechless*

( MEATSNAKE Richard Hammond, Fri 4 Apr 2014, 14:11, Reply)

what??

( rachelswipe with a fork, Fri 4 Apr 2014, 14:14, Reply)

"virtually no OCD" ?!?!?!?!?!?!??.........

( MEATSNAKE Richard Hammond, Fri 4 Apr 2014, 14:15, Reply)

I think she meant COD

(Bonzodog29 is an unemployed sponge of the worst kind, Fri 4 Apr 2014, 14:16, Reply)

i don't like other people's saliva in my food
but that's not OCD, that's because other people's mouths are gross!
( rachelswipe with a fork, Fri 4 Apr 2014, 14:16, Reply)

Yes that's the *only* weird thing you do...

( MEATSNAKE Richard Hammond, Fri 4 Apr 2014, 14:17, Reply)

it so is!

( rachelswipe with a fork, Fri 4 Apr 2014, 14:17, Reply)

I don't even know you personally and I know this is a lie based solely on internet witterings

( GeordieJay Bummers are deaf, Fri 4 Apr 2014, 14:19, Reply)

it really isn't
really really
( rachelswipe with a fork, Fri 4 Apr 2014, 14:21, Reply)

OF COURSE....
( MEATSNAKE Richard Hammond, Fri 4 Apr 2014, 14:20, Reply)

and yet
yhpcciym
(Bonzodog29 is an unemployed sponge of the worst kind, Fri 4 Apr 2014, 14:26, Reply)

just a bad rumour
never been proven
( rachelswipe with a fork, Fri 4 Apr 2014, 14:29, Reply)

Phew eh lucky escape

(Bonzodog29 is an unemployed sponge of the worst kind, Fri 4 Apr 2014, 14:43, Reply)

So you are saying you agree with my statement
and you are fucking useless.
(Bonzodog29 is an unemployed sponge of the worst kind, Fri 4 Apr 2014, 14:16, Reply)

and you didn't know that already, because...

( rachelswipe with a fork, Fri 4 Apr 2014, 14:16, Reply)

Fair point well made

(Bonzodog29 is an unemployed sponge of the worst kind, Fri 4 Apr 2014, 14:28, Reply)

Standing around in a field hoping the spuds grow this year

(Bonzodog29 is an unemployed sponge of the worst kind, Fri 4 Apr 2014, 13:46, Reply)

doing dodgy property deals

( rachelswipe with a fork, Fri 4 Apr 2014, 13:48, Reply)

Begorra
If the tatties don't grow dis yeior I will have to brick up some windows to avoid the taxes
(Bonzodog29 is an unemployed sponge of the worst kind, Fri 4 Apr 2014, 13:51, Reply)

i'm after buying meself a shack and paying your man shifty joe cash in hand to give it a lick of paint
and calling it a luxury bespoke property
( rachelswipe with a fork, Fri 4 Apr 2014, 13:55, Reply)

Putting the poke into bespoke

( sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Fri 4 Apr 2014, 13:55, Reply)

*hides lucky charms*

(Bonzodog29 is an unemployed sponge of the worst kind, Fri 4 Apr 2014, 13:59, Reply)

I buy a lottery ticket for people I don't know very well/don't like's birthdays, and put it in their card.
I like the irony.
( Je suis un vagabond is an unfunny, up your own arse middle class knob, Fri 4 Apr 2014, 13:55, Reply)

Top Tip: Save money, don't get them anything.

( Muns, Fri 4 Apr 2014, 13:57, Reply)

^ MASSIVE racist.

( Je suis un vagabond is an unfunny, up your own arse middle class knob, Fri 4 Apr 2014, 14:04, Reply)

5 inches when flaccid, honky!

( Muns, Fri 4 Apr 2014, 14:08, Reply)

Best Coldplay album ever.

( Je suis un vagabond is an unfunny, up your own arse middle class knob, Fri 4 Apr 2014, 14:10, Reply)

nah that was MTV Consciously Unplugged

(localboy purveyor of pisspoor puns, Fri 4 Apr 2014, 14:15, Reply)

What would you do if they won?

(Bonzodog29 is an unemployed sponge of the worst kind, Fri 4 Apr 2014, 14:06, Reply)

Befriend them, embezzle their cash, and then have them shot.

( Je suis un vagabond is an unfunny, up your own arse middle class knob, Fri 4 Apr 2014, 14:07, Reply)

Good thinking

(Bonzodog29 is an unemployed sponge of the worst kind, Fri 4 Apr 2014, 14:08, Reply)

It's normally the only punt I have a year, but if a lawl really, normally spread £20 over 10 or so horses with the funniest names. If I walk out with what I walked in with, i'm happy enough.
alt: Always go for the horses with the best names.

alt alt: I'm well safe mostly.
( G/PP 💩💩💩💩💩&#128, Fri 4 Apr 2014, 13:55, Reply)

I don't know how to play fruit machines

( Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Fri 4 Apr 2014, 13:57, Reply)

You just like the flashing lights doncha?

( MEATSNAKE Richard Hammond, Fri 4 Apr 2014, 13:58, Reply)

Which would explain why he was dancing around the cop car

(Bonzodog29 is an unemployed sponge of the worst kind, Fri 4 Apr 2014, 14:00, Reply)

they're so pretty

( Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Fri 4 Apr 2014, 14:00, Reply)

Just like you x

( MEATSNAKE Richard Hammond, Fri 4 Apr 2014, 14:01, Reply)

thx snakeypoosxx

( Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Fri 4 Apr 2014, 14:27, Reply)

that's what YM calls him in bed

( rachelswipe with a fork, Fri 4 Apr 2014, 14:30, Reply)

You ent old enough to be his mum

( MEATSNAKE Richard Hammond, Fri 4 Apr 2014, 14:31, Reply)

I dunno some of those photos....

(Bonzodog29 is an unemployed sponge of the worst kind, Fri 4 Apr 2014, 14:43, Reply)

pretty va - cant

(Bonzodog29 is an unemployed sponge of the worst kind, Fri 4 Apr 2014, 14:09, Reply)

The ZTE KIS?
Ask jaysum
(Captain Give-A-Fuck #internetpals4eva, Fri 4 Apr 2014, 14:01, Reply)

Gambling's for fools.

( Je suis un vagabond is an unfunny, up your own arse middle class knob, Fri 4 Apr 2014, 14:04, Reply)

jelly.b3ta.com/questions/offtopic/post2254904
(Bonzodog29 is an unemployed sponge of the worst kind, Fri 4 Apr 2014, 14:05, Reply)

I was listening to Motorhead the other day, and his voice, combined with the story about Hawkwind abandoning him in the desert because he was shit
made me conclude that he's actually a bit weasley.
( Je suis un vagabond is an unfunny, up your own arse middle class knob, Fri 4 Apr 2014, 14:09, Reply)

Lemmy is a lovely bloke.
You really can't help stare at that wart, though.
( Muns, Fri 4 Apr 2014, 14:18, Reply)

Horses are food
Nommy, Nommy food.
Alt: don't bet, it's all fixed.
Altalt: yep, sure am!
(Captain Placid 24/7 ball gags, brownie mix and clown porn, Fri 4 Apr 2014, 14:35, Reply)

I've had more good luck than bad when it comes to the National, I'm about £110 up
Alt: Monbeg Dude

AltAlt: Depends who you ask
( Agnostic Antichrist Baltimora, Fri 4 Apr 2014, 14:44, Reply)

altalt I am asking you.

(Bonzodog29 is an unemployed sponge of the worst kind, Fri 4 Apr 2014, 14:47, Reply)

Not anymore, I'd say

( Agnostic Antichrist Baltimora, Fri 4 Apr 2014, 14:49, Reply)