'Alright yer'
Yesterday I was shocked to discover that squirrels don't eat turkish delight, even if you have purchased it from a small woman in a headscarf that looks like a puppet. What have you learnt recently?
Alt: Lunch
Altalt: #chivealive2014 #hashtagsummink
( MEATSNAKE Richard Hammond, Tue 22 Apr 2014, 13:12, 159 replies, latest was 10 years ago)

I learnt spanish in one lunch break
Alt. Nah, not today
( Peej, Tue 22 Apr 2014, 13:12, Reply)

Spanish isn't a real language.

( MEATSNAKE Richard Hammond, Tue 22 Apr 2014, 13:16, Reply)

Thats why it was so easy I guess

( Peej, Tue 22 Apr 2014, 13:19, Reply)

Alt: lime & chilli chicken. Obviously.

( Fucking hell Jeff I am not a robot, Tue 22 Apr 2014, 13:14, Reply)

www.b3ta.com/questions/offtopic/post2264648
( MEATSNAKE Richard Hammond, Tue 22 Apr 2014, 13:16, Reply)

alright 'Tim'

(dozers, do fuck off ur a nob m8, Tue 22 Apr 2014, 13:14, Reply)

OH NO.....QUICK........DELETE

( MEATSNAKE Richard Hammond, Tue 22 Apr 2014, 13:15, Reply)

you're like sherlock, with people's names flashing up around you as you try to work out the mystery of the smelly sock
you have all his social inadequacies and weirdness, but sadly lack his flashing blue eyes and razor cheekbones
( rachelswipe with a fork, Tue 22 Apr 2014, 13:15, Reply)

yer

(Captain Give-A-Fuck #internetpals4eva, Tue 22 Apr 2014, 13:16, Reply)

you're a bit obssessed bbz, maybz you shud get out moar yer

(dozers, do fuck off ur a nob m8, Tue 22 Apr 2014, 13:17, Reply)

i need to get out less

( rachelswipe with a fork, Tue 22 Apr 2014, 13:19, Reply)

fewer

(dozers, do fuck off ur a nob m8, Tue 22 Apr 2014, 13:21, Reply)

pigeons don't like it either
i thought pigeons ate everything :(
( rachelswipe with a fork, Tue 22 Apr 2014, 13:16, Reply)

There were 8 bits left

( MEATSNAKE Richard Hammond, Tue 22 Apr 2014, 13:17, Reply)

Turkish Delight is fucking rank, thats why

( sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Tue 22 Apr 2014, 13:17, Reply)

^

( tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Tue 22 Apr 2014, 13:17, Reply)

^ this

( Fucking hell Jeff I am not a robot, Tue 22 Apr 2014, 13:17, Reply)

it's bloody lovely
waitrose do a really nice wooden box with rose, lemon, hazelnut and pistacchio flavours. my colleague was so obsessed with my box of it that there was a trail of icing sugar from my office to his.
( rachelswipe with a fork, Tue 22 Apr 2014, 13:19, Reply)

*insert "obsessed with my box" strikethrough here*
( Peej, Tue 22 Apr 2014, 13:21, Reply)

I think I'd rather just eat proper soap.
Again.
( tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Tue 22 Apr 2014, 13:22, Reply)

No, it really isn't
It tastes of old ladies perfume
( sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Tue 22 Apr 2014, 13:22, Reply)

Swipes box?

( Peej, Tue 22 Apr 2014, 13:23, Reply)

yep

( sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Tue 22 Apr 2014, 13:25, Reply)

ANGRY FACE

( rachelswipe with a fork, Tue 22 Apr 2014, 13:28, Reply)

50% of it is, yes

( sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Tue 22 Apr 2014, 13:31, Reply)

This.
What the fuck is 'Eastern Promise' anyway?
( JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Tue 22 Apr 2014, 13:22, Reply)

I winnit spunk in ya, pet

( sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Tue 22 Apr 2014, 13:23, Reply)

I have learned that I have slightly more in common with squirrels than I previously thought.
Alt: Yer
Altalt: #timstilton
( tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Tue 22 Apr 2014, 13:17, Reply)

you both look like rats with big bushy hairy arses?

( rachelswipe with a fork, Tue 22 Apr 2014, 13:21, Reply)

Pretty rats

( tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Tue 22 Apr 2014, 13:21, Reply)

Pretty noncey rats

( MEATSNAKE Richard Hammond, Tue 22 Apr 2014, 13:22, Reply)

this has made me laugh

( rachelswipe with a fork, Tue 22 Apr 2014, 13:28, Reply)

I've never learned anything, and I don't intend to start now

( Two Hats I saw someone eating M&M's with a spoon, Tue 22 Apr 2014, 13:18, Reply)

Good lad, don't waste your life

( MEATSNAKE Richard Hammond, Tue 22 Apr 2014, 13:20, Reply)

A lesson for us all there

( tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Tue 22 Apr 2014, 13:21, Reply)

Yer - it annoys me that seagulls can tell the difference between cigarette butts and chips.

( Je suis un vagabond is an unfunny, up your own arse middle class knob, Tue 22 Apr 2014, 13:22, Reply)

You'll get the hang of it too, eventually

( tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Tue 22 Apr 2014, 13:25, Reply)

#CraigColclough

( MEATSNAKE Richard Hammond, Tue 22 Apr 2014, 13:26, Reply)

On the other hand....

( sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Tue 22 Apr 2014, 13:32, Reply)

Want some mega lolz
A menu for this new awesome takeaway dropped through my door this weekend www.europetakeaway.com/menu.html

I'll have the beaked chicken

Hahahaha forrins are shit at english lolz.
( Peej, Tue 22 Apr 2014, 13:35, Reply)

They have a noncing section with their post-school deals.

( JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Tue 22 Apr 2014, 13:43, Reply)

I'll have the 'bread with lard' please

( MEATSNAKE Richard Hammond, Tue 22 Apr 2014, 13:48, Reply)

( tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Tue 22 Apr 2014, 13:49, Reply)

Cor!

( MEATSNAKE Richard Hammond, Tue 22 Apr 2014, 13:51, Reply)

I might have some selery, with mayonnaice.

( Fucking hell Jeff I am not a robot, Tue 22 Apr 2014, 13:52, Reply)

Not worth its salt, that

( sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Tue 22 Apr 2014, 13:54, Reply)

ALLA

( Peej, Tue 22 Apr 2014, 13:54, Reply)

Have some 'glass container' to wash it down with

( MEATSNAKE Richard Hammond, Tue 22 Apr 2014, 13:54, Reply)

BEETROSSTS

( sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Tue 22 Apr 2014, 13:56, Reply)

Good product that. I was marketing director of 'glass container' in 2007/8.

( Fucking hell Jeff I am not a robot, Tue 22 Apr 2014, 13:57, Reply)

I can see through this argument

( sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Tue 22 Apr 2014, 13:58, Reply)

I was marketing director for Europe Takeaway in 2014
I didn't last long
( MEATSNAKE Richard Hammond, Tue 22 Apr 2014, 13:58, Reply)

I like how they specify that the chicken is cooked. I was about to order the raw chicken

( Peej, Tue 22 Apr 2014, 13:58, Reply)

SPAGHETTI ALLA RAGU

( Peej, Tue 22 Apr 2014, 13:57, Reply)

I learned that people have about as much inkling about politics as I do ie; not much
looking at the comments for the UKIP posters. Which are also a load of shit. Still looks like they may get in next time.

Alt. Gorge slow cooked beef curry I made yesterday. It's a spice mis mash and no mistake.

altalt. #AintNoFollowbackGurl
( GeordieJay Bummers are deaf, Tue 22 Apr 2014, 13:45, Reply)

In what way does it look like they may get in next time?
Or are you trying to prove that you don't know much?
( tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Tue 22 Apr 2014, 13:50, Reply)

Give it a few more minutes, he's thinking up a witty retort

( MEATSNAKE Richard Hammond, Tue 22 Apr 2014, 13:57, Reply)

I can wait
It should be something good like "yeah well at least I'm not in a shit band lol!"
( tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Tue 22 Apr 2014, 13:58, Reply)

#yogurtknitting #yurtprick

( MEATSNAKE Richard Hammond, Tue 22 Apr 2014, 13:59, Reply)

I've never besmirched your shit band!!

( GeordieJay Bummers are deaf, Tue 22 Apr 2014, 14:08, Reply)

In the way that there are more racist and thick people about.

( G/PP 💩💩💩💩💩&#128, Tue 22 Apr 2014, 14:04, Reply)

Just from "the word on the street"
When given the choice of Labour, Tory or UKIP.

Well, we're fucked either way, yah.
( GeordieJay Bummers are deaf, Tue 22 Apr 2014, 14:07, Reply)

#voterapathy

( tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Tue 22 Apr 2014, 14:11, Reply)

what do Rapathy stand for?

( GeordieJay Bummers are deaf, Tue 22 Apr 2014, 14:19, Reply)

They stand up for those who suffer as a result of black people's music

( tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Tue 22 Apr 2014, 14:22, Reply)

For those disenfranchised from urban beats.

( Kroney, Tue 22 Apr 2014, 14:24, Reply)

Thanks to the Daily Heil, we may finally get some answers on here
www.dailymail.co.uk/health/article-2610201/Do-YOU-signs-autism-Take-test-youre-one-rising-number-condition.html
( GeordieJay Bummers are deaf, Tue 22 Apr 2014, 14:10, Reply)

I'm not taking part in a test that doesn't acknowledge where I live

( tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Tue 22 Apr 2014, 14:15, Reply)

norf or saaaf mate. Pick a team!

( GeordieJay Bummers are deaf, Tue 22 Apr 2014, 14:18, Reply)

I live in North London. Which do I pick?

( Kroney, Tue 22 Apr 2014, 14:21, Reply)

What were the options? South?

( GeordieJay Bummers are deaf, Tue 22 Apr 2014, 14:31, Reply)

You're useful to neither man nor beast.

( Kroney, Tue 22 Apr 2014, 14:33, Reply)

I know a few beasts who will disagree

( GeordieJay Bummers are deaf, Tue 22 Apr 2014, 14:41, Reply)

Did your test, turns out I'm heterosexual

( MEATSNAKE Richard Hammond, Tue 22 Apr 2014, 14:18, Reply)

I demand a recount

( tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Tue 22 Apr 2014, 14:21, Reply)

Sounds a bit autistic

( MEATSNAKE Richard Hammond, Tue 22 Apr 2014, 14:22, Reply)

Never mind that - I just got dubs up there!
#dubs
( tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Tue 22 Apr 2014, 14:23, Reply)

#tekkers

( MEATSNAKE Richard Hammond, Tue 22 Apr 2014, 14:24, Reply)

Hangover. Working until midnight. Kill me.
Vote UKIP.
( Kroney, Tue 22 Apr 2014, 14:12, Reply)

Vote Tim Stilton

( Peej, Tue 22 Apr 2014, 14:16, Reply)

#TS

( MEATSNAKE Richard Hammond, Tue 22 Apr 2014, 14:19, Reply)

#mightgetinnexttime

( Kroney, Tue 22 Apr 2014, 14:22, Reply)

#wordonthestreet

( MEATSNAKE Richard Hammond, Tue 22 Apr 2014, 14:23, Reply)

#informedpoliticalcommentary

( Kroney, Tue 22 Apr 2014, 14:25, Reply)

Sardonic mockery is the best of all mockery.
Is there any other type?
( Je suis un vagabond is an unfunny, up your own arse middle class knob, Tue 22 Apr 2014, 14:24, Reply)

Hah! Yeah, because you'd know.

( Kroney, Tue 22 Apr 2014, 14:25, Reply)

Yeah loads

( MEATSNAKE Richard Hammond, Tue 22 Apr 2014, 14:28, Reply)

Like what m8?

( Je suis un vagabond is an unfunny, up your own arse middle class knob, Tue 22 Apr 2014, 14:52, Reply)

You've been on the receiving end of quite a few.
*cough*
( GeordieJay Bummers are deaf, Tue 22 Apr 2014, 14:32, Reply)

In Ruislip. Kill me.

( Kroney, Tue 22 Apr 2014, 14:31, Reply)

Salman?

( GeordieJay Bummers are deaf, Tue 22 Apr 2014, 14:32, Reply)

No thanks, don't like fish.

( Kroney, Tue 22 Apr 2014, 14:33, Reply)

Sooo much worse than uxbridge

( Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Tue 22 Apr 2014, 14:34, Reply)

^ grew up in Slough

( Kroney, Tue 22 Apr 2014, 14:35, Reply)

Different county bruv

( Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Tue 22 Apr 2014, 14:37, Reply)

What do you lot call yourselves, anyway?
Sloughites?
( Kroney, Tue 22 Apr 2014, 14:38, Reply)

I grew up in Iver mate in Buckinghamshire, Slough is in berks, hth xx

( Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Tue 22 Apr 2014, 14:41, Reply)

i had dinner with my friend in iver the other night
he's escaping uxbridge for bath, i guess that's an upgrade
( rachelswipe with a fork, Tue 22 Apr 2014, 14:44, Reply)

Bon

( tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Tue 22 Apr 2014, 14:46, Reply)

Suburb of Slough, innit.

( Kroney, Tue 22 Apr 2014, 14:53, Reply)

It is a bit close for comfort these days, less so when I grew up

( Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Tue 22 Apr 2014, 14:58, Reply)

The only boundary between Slough and Windsor now is the M4.
Her Maj don't give a fuck about the SL postcode, though. Not like the rest of those social climbers.

#gawdbless'er
( Kroney, Tue 22 Apr 2014, 15:01, Reply)

You know in sandwich shops where they have their pre-mixed sandwich filling.
As in, they do it every morning or whatever, stuff like Corronation chicken and all that.

Is that stuff EVER nice?
( G/PP 💩💩💩💩💩&#128, Tue 22 Apr 2014, 14:33, Reply)

It looks like baby food to me, I would never eat that muck.

( MEATSNAKE Richard Hammond, Tue 22 Apr 2014, 14:34, Reply)

#pillowtalkneedswork

(Captain Give-A-Fuck #internetpals4eva, Tue 22 Apr 2014, 14:35, Reply)

#lol

( MEATSNAKE Richard Hammond, Tue 22 Apr 2014, 14:36, Reply)

#ShouldaGoneMaccyDs

( G/PP 💩💩💩💩💩&#128, Tue 22 Apr 2014, 14:37, Reply)

#BKFTW

( MEATSNAKE Richard Hammond, Tue 22 Apr 2014, 14:43, Reply)

No

( tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Tue 22 Apr 2014, 14:34, Reply)

it's just assorted mayonnaise based options really.

( GeordieJay Bummers are deaf, Tue 22 Apr 2014, 14:41, Reply)

there's a couple near me that are ok
but i would only have coleslaw or egg mayo or cheese and onion, and it's pretty hard to fuck those up
( rachelswipe with a fork, Tue 22 Apr 2014, 14:42, Reply)

Lunch was salt cod fritters, pork belly and bean cassoulet, iberico meat platter, ham croquettes, asparagus, figs with manchgo honey and Parma ham, pork skewers and some other bits
Plus Pinot noir

I win
( Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Tue 22 Apr 2014, 14:33, Reply)

What was the vegetarian option?

( tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Tue 22 Apr 2014, 14:34, Reply)

Bread or octopus

( Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Tue 22 Apr 2014, 14:35, Reply)

Usually it's
"ribs you can play xylophone on and a permanent smell of stale cabbage"
( Kroney, Tue 22 Apr 2014, 14:39, Reply)

It's true, I'm both skinny and smelly

( tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Tue 22 Apr 2014, 14:41, Reply)

Recognising you have a problem is the first step to a cure.
Now get some bacon down you.
( Kroney, Tue 22 Apr 2014, 14:54, Reply)

Wait, who said there was a problem here?

( tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Tue 22 Apr 2014, 14:55, Reply)

Society.
At least, every society outside the apologistic UK and US.
( Kroney, Tue 22 Apr 2014, 14:56, Reply)

India?

( tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Tue 22 Apr 2014, 15:17, Reply)

I wanted eel and pork belly yesterday but had to eat Iranian smelly food instead :(((((

( MEATSNAKE Richard Hammond, Tue 22 Apr 2014, 14:35, Reply)

A smoked eel sandwich at the blue print cafe was one of the best things I've ever eaten

( Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Tue 22 Apr 2014, 14:36, Reply)

Jellied eels can fuck right off though

( MEATSNAKE Richard Hammond, Tue 22 Apr 2014, 14:36, Reply)

what about crispy pork belly and eel?

( rachelswipe with a fork, Tue 22 Apr 2014, 14:41, Reply)

Do you even read? It's like two posts up mrs 'almost photographic memory'

( MEATSNAKE Richard Hammond, Tue 22 Apr 2014, 14:42, Reply)

what i read was
I AM NEVER TAKING YOU OUT FOR A NICE LUNCH AGAIN
( rachelswipe with a fork, Tue 22 Apr 2014, 14:42, Reply)

Even with the gayz?

( MEATSNAKE Richard Hammond, Tue 22 Apr 2014, 14:43, Reply)

that's dinner
you're dessert



for them
( rachelswipe with a fork, Tue 22 Apr 2014, 14:43, Reply)

Sausage for dessert? I'm living the dream!

( MEATSNAKE Richard Hammond, Tue 22 Apr 2014, 14:45, Reply)

Bannna split
Frog is the banana a
( Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Tue 22 Apr 2014, 14:45, Reply)

gaaaaaaaaaaaaaah

( rachelswipe with a fork, Tue 22 Apr 2014, 14:50, Reply)

#seriouslylotsofwork

(Captain Give-A-Fuck #internetpals4eva, Tue 22 Apr 2014, 14:36, Reply)

#leopard

( MEATSNAKE Richard Hammond, Tue 22 Apr 2014, 14:38, Reply)

_ __ _
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/_,: | |./,|
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/:.,:.|,|"| |:|
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snd |',:| \_ \ |_|;\_
/;\_ /\_)) \_))\_))
(;(________
'''''`'''~`
( GeordieJay Bummers are deaf, Tue 22 Apr 2014, 14:40, Reply)

i think it's given up now
lost the will to live
( rachelswipe with a fork, Tue 22 Apr 2014, 14:40, Reply)

:'( RIP LEOPARD

( MEATSNAKE Richard Hammond, Tue 22 Apr 2014, 14:42, Reply)

If you'd donated three quid a month you could have saved it.

( JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Tue 22 Apr 2014, 14:43, Reply)

I'm busy saving the pandas, tigers, blacks and olds. I can't do everything.

( MEATSNAKE Richard Hammond, Tue 22 Apr 2014, 14:44, Reply)

You've let everyone down.

( JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Tue 22 Apr 2014, 14:46, Reply)

Again.
Looks like Jason killed the last one :(
( MEATSNAKE Richard Hammond, Tue 22 Apr 2014, 14:49, Reply)

If cancer joy had owened a leopard, this is what it would now look like

( Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Tue 22 Apr 2014, 14:44, Reply)

oh lol

( rachelswipe with a fork, Tue 22 Apr 2014, 14:44, Reply)

We would like to congratulate our latest winner, SP !
www.bbc.co.uk/news/world-asia-india-27114395
( G/PP 💩💩💩💩💩&#128, Tue 22 Apr 2014, 15:04, Reply)

Shit, I hope that wasn't my fault

( MEATSNAKE Richard Hammond, Tue 22 Apr 2014, 15:05, Reply)

Did you add your friends?
www.facebook.com/pages/ADD-YOUR-FRIENDS-TO-WIN-A-LEOPARD/225894697091?fref=nf
( G/PP 💩💩💩💩💩&#128, Tue 22 Apr 2014, 15:07, Reply)

I haven't got any friends :(

( MEATSNAKE Richard Hammond, Tue 22 Apr 2014, 15:08, Reply)

Dude, after all we've been through, that hurts.

( G/PP 💩💩💩💩💩&#128, Tue 22 Apr 2014, 15:09, Reply)

I MEANT APART FROM YOU

( MEATSNAKE Richard Hammond, Tue 22 Apr 2014, 15:09, Reply)

I hope it rains soon.

( MEATSNAKE Richard Hammond, Tue 22 Apr 2014, 14:54, Reply)

It's raining here!

( JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Tue 22 Apr 2014, 14:58, Reply)

I hope it heads this way, I have a new coat to try out.

( MEATSNAKE Richard Hammond, Tue 22 Apr 2014, 14:59, Reply)

We could spit on you instead?

( GeordieJay Bummers are deaf, Tue 22 Apr 2014, 15:02, Reply)

instead again
( Je suis un vagabond is an unfunny, up your own arse middle class knob, Tue 22 Apr 2014, 15:03, Reply)

No thank you Jason, If I want remnants of spunk on my new jacket I'll ask Swipe to wipe her face on it.

( MEATSNAKE Richard Hammond, Tue 22 Apr 2014, 15:04, Reply)