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(, Sun 1 Apr 2001, 1:00)
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Good Afternoon!
Following with the drink theme.
What's the worst/ weirdest thing you've woke up with after a night on the sauce?
alt. LUNCH! I Called it! MINE!
altalt. Which bands do you wish would break up or lose a member?

I'm SO unoriginal!
(, Thu 25 Sep 2014, 12:08, 152 replies, latest was 10 years ago)
YM of course
alt: vegetable cup-a-soup

alt alt: we could all benefit from losing this member www.huffingtonpost.co.uk/2014/09/25/anjem-choudary-arrested-london-anti-terrorism-raid_n_5880094.html?utm_hp_ref=uk&ir=UK
(, Thu 25 Sep 2014, 12:12, Reply)
What a proper member.
These terrorists are a crazy bunch. I don;t get why they are so against the west.
They would have much happier, better dressed lives if they just conformed.
Mind I can't see one running the Mac counter in Selfridges.
(, Thu 25 Sep 2014, 12:14, Reply)
It's probably all down to election pledges or something.

(, Thu 25 Sep 2014, 12:17, Reply)
Should we even be celebrating election pledges
its like 4 years ago
(, Thu 25 Sep 2014, 12:31, Reply)
rachelswipe

(, Thu 25 Sep 2014, 12:15, Reply)
that is so untrue
you had to stay in an hotel! you woke up with scabies!
(, Thu 25 Sep 2014, 12:19, Reply)
Nice hotel.

(, Thu 25 Sep 2014, 12:20, Reply)
Yeah but since then I have woken up next to you after a night on the sauce

(, Thu 25 Sep 2014, 12:21, Reply)
One of my peak nights out I woke up with a shopping trolley, a men at work sign, some council flowers and a bag of plastic hip forks.
I also once woke up to a strange alarm in a hotel room somewhere on the Quayside. I had apparently pulled an air steward who had to be ready by 5am.
Immaculately dressed he was, as I staggered round the room getting my stuff together. I emerged from a weird vertigo suffering lift to the rest of his immaculately dressed team in the lobby.
I've never felt as cheap.
(, Thu 25 Sep 2014, 12:18, Reply)
a gay air steward? surely not!

(, Thu 25 Sep 2014, 12:20, Reply)
I know! They're everywhere these days.

(, Thu 25 Sep 2014, 12:30, Reply)
I once almost decapitated a serving Israeli soldier in a shopping trolley

(, Thu 25 Sep 2014, 12:38, Reply)
Weirdest was a hoover.
I expect there were some wacky shenanigans, or something. I hate wacky shenanigans.

Worst was a good pint of dried, congealed blood sticking me to my sheets. Turned out I'd fallen over onto some barbed wire. Ripped three half-inch deep gashes in my thigh. I had no memory of falling over, getting home or noticing the injury in any way.
(, Thu 25 Sep 2014, 12:20, Reply)
Beer is a great anaesthetic.

(, Thu 25 Sep 2014, 12:20, Reply)
Luckily I had a tetanus booster a couple of years previous after accidentally shutting my penknife on my knuckle.

(, Thu 25 Sep 2014, 12:22, Reply)
I was once shot in the knee with an air rifle when rather sozzled
Didn't feel a thing
(, Thu 25 Sep 2014, 12:36, Reply)
I once woke up to find a no smoking rule had been instigated in the student house in which I was living.
Apparently it was all my idea, in spite of me being a 40 a day smoker at the time and having no memory of the last couple of hours of the night or how I got to bed.
It was soon revoked.
(, Thu 25 Sep 2014, 12:23, Reply)
CRAZY!

(, Thu 25 Sep 2014, 12:31, Reply)
Sorry for the lack of wakkiness in my story, but I have never been a wakki student prick

(, Thu 25 Sep 2014, 12:34, Reply)
Just your regular common or garden prick

(, Thu 25 Sep 2014, 12:34, Reply)
I was
I recall waking up and having no recollection of what it later transpired was the last five days.
(, Thu 25 Sep 2014, 12:39, Reply)
Excellent work

(, Thu 25 Sep 2014, 12:39, Reply)
The last thing I remember is ordering another round of absinthe
then i had a total star trek moment.
(, Thu 25 Sep 2014, 12:48, Reply)
I burned a hole in my living room carpet with absinthe
I also found out that if you neck about 10 shots of Aftershock you seem to get drunk from the top of your head down
(, Thu 25 Sep 2014, 12:49, Reply)
I burned my carpet too through vomit. Vile, dark days

(, Thu 25 Sep 2014, 12:52, Reply)
I once missed my bin and vommed into the back of a Park guitar amp
My reverb stopped working :o(
(, Thu 25 Sep 2014, 12:53, Reply)
I once woke up clothed only in newspapers stuck to my body with vomit

(, Thu 25 Sep 2014, 13:06, Reply)
My friend Graham now revels in the nickname "Sleeps With Toast" for a similar reason

(, Thu 25 Sep 2014, 13:08, Reply)
there was an incident invloving gin and mild racism.
by which I mean my mate showed up with a liter of Gordons and a def comedy jam DVD. upon his insistence we played spot the white person. If you spot the white person in the audience before the comedian you are safe, otherwise you have to take a drink.
(, Thu 25 Sep 2014, 13:12, Reply)
Probably the entire signage from the road works in the next street
flashing yellow lights, barriers and all. Bloody students.....

alt:lasagna

altalt: any from any "reality TV" show
(, Thu 25 Sep 2014, 12:25, Reply)
Yellow lights too?! Brilliant!
How were they powered?
(, Thu 25 Sep 2014, 12:31, Reply)
Batteries innit
they fitted on top of the cones, so the idiots I was sharing a house with brought the whole lot.

Cue mad hungover panic all round trying to get them all back before anyone noticed.......
(, Thu 25 Sep 2014, 12:34, Reply)
We used to nick the paraffin ones for fires down the dene

(, Thu 25 Sep 2014, 12:35, Reply)
a 4 and a half ft fibreglass squiral
alt coffee and yummy nicotine,
altx2 HAWKWIND and all the other 70's parasites stopping cool new music from being out there... Oh and the Yurtsmiths obvs
(, Thu 25 Sep 2014, 12:30, Reply)
Get bent

(, Thu 25 Sep 2014, 12:35, Reply)
get fucked, you tosswanks

(, Thu 25 Sep 2014, 12:32, Reply)
That was the ideal conclusion to the night, yes

(, Thu 25 Sep 2014, 12:40, Reply)
Some dodgy bird with purple hair
I did the walk of shame home looking like I'd been wine-making. I was covered in hair dye. Cracking tits though...

Alt:
Chicken, leek and butterbean pie. Rather nice

AltAlt:
David Bowie
(, Thu 25 Sep 2014, 12:33, Reply)

purple hair mastitis
(, Thu 25 Sep 2014, 12:36, Reply)
They were rather large, yes

(, Thu 25 Sep 2014, 12:37, Reply)
Thats excema for you

(, Thu 25 Sep 2014, 13:18, Reply)
Altalt: I think most of them should consider breaking up sooner.

(, Thu 25 Sep 2014, 12:36, Reply)
I've got 2,
One was after a big night with a beautiful girl. She had recently got kittens, and one of them had shit in the bed. We didn't notice till we woke up.

The other was waking to the sound of children's voices, and the smell of breakfast. Stumble to a bathroom in a house I didn't recognise, and there was a kid at the top of the stairs who just stared at me. Then some middle aged woman asked if I wanted breakfast. At first I assumed I'd pulled one of her daughters or something and she was extremely friendly. Well after a bit of breakfast and the young kids going to school, it dawned on me that i may have slept with the middle aged woman. She was insistent I stayed for a long day on our own, wanted to take me for lunch. I ran away.
(, Thu 25 Sep 2014, 12:36, Reply)
a lack of dignity
alt: sauagage rolls from Morrisons
(, Thu 25 Sep 2014, 12:37, Reply)
I once woke up in a sleeping bag with someone elses shit in the bottom of it.

(, Thu 25 Sep 2014, 12:37, Reply)
I'm surprised you still talk to monty after that.

(, Thu 25 Sep 2014, 12:38, Reply)
haha!
ewwww
(, Thu 25 Sep 2014, 12:39, Reply)
By sheer luck alone, I somehow managed not to get any on me, it was just there rolling about. Good job I am 'average height'

(, Thu 25 Sep 2014, 12:40, Reply)
Good job it wasnt in your hat then

(, Thu 25 Sep 2014, 12:40, Reply)
:o(

(, Thu 25 Sep 2014, 12:42, Reply)
hello again breakfast

(, Thu 25 Sep 2014, 12:43, Reply)
Although it's nice that you and swipe have something else in common

(, Thu 25 Sep 2014, 12:44, Reply)
Can you faecal the love tonight??

(, Thu 25 Sep 2014, 12:46, Reply)
Oh wow, look at all the washing up to be done!

(, Thu 25 Sep 2014, 13:18, Reply)
Mr Pot, A Mr Kettle is on the line for you

(, Thu 25 Sep 2014, 13:24, Reply)
I was never that colourful

(, Thu 25 Sep 2014, 13:28, Reply)
IDGI
Who is that?

EDIT:m lols seen the original post
(, Thu 25 Sep 2014, 13:34, Reply)
A pair of crutches
Still have no idea who we stole them from.

Alt: A chicken, chorizo & rice 'burrito'.

AltAlt: U2
(, Thu 25 Sep 2014, 13:22, Reply)
Edgy alt alt mate.

(, Thu 25 Sep 2014, 13:24, Reply)
They were just on the radio, came to mind because of that

(, Thu 25 Sep 2014, 13:25, Reply)
and invading your itunes.

(, Thu 25 Sep 2014, 13:28, Reply)
Don't use any Apple products, so thankfully not!

(, Thu 25 Sep 2014, 13:31, Reply)

don't use can't afford
(, Thu 25 Sep 2014, 13:31, Reply)
Don't use because they're poorly built, rushed out in a hurry, try to force you to use shit software, etc
I was offered an iPhone when I was renewing my contract, I went with an S4 mini, and it's better.
(, Thu 25 Sep 2014, 13:47, Reply)
You'll sharp change your mind when they make a move into medical appliances!

(, Thu 25 Sep 2014, 13:32, Reply)
i have bought a beautiful Nicole Fahri Jacket and some bargain Levi's
I care not for your questions
(, Thu 25 Sep 2014, 13:26, Reply)
I hope your wife likes them.

(, Thu 25 Sep 2014, 13:27, Reply)
She'll not like the jeans

(, Thu 25 Sep 2014, 13:28, Reply)
Don't you know her size?

(, Thu 25 Sep 2014, 13:29, Reply)
they for me, silly

(, Thu 25 Sep 2014, 13:30, Reply)
Oh, I thought they might be to go with the ladies jacket.

(, Thu 25 Sep 2014, 13:39, Reply)
why is it a ladies jacket?

(, Thu 25 Sep 2014, 13:41, Reply)
Size, style, cut, space for boobs, all those things and more I imagine.

(, Thu 25 Sep 2014, 13:44, Reply)
well you just keep on imagining me with boobs you perv

(, Thu 25 Sep 2014, 13:46, Reply)
You keep buying women's clothes

(, Thu 25 Sep 2014, 13:47, Reply)
just for you sweetheart

(, Thu 25 Sep 2014, 14:00, Reply)
Based on yesterday, he doesnt even know his own size

(, Thu 25 Sep 2014, 13:30, Reply)
I find it's not an exact science
also it depends where they sit on your hips innit
(, Thu 25 Sep 2014, 13:32, Reply)
or round your arse, like some of the young uns these days.

(, Thu 25 Sep 2014, 13:37, Reply)
you wish gay boy

(, Thu 25 Sep 2014, 13:39, Reply)
A plough
alt: ploughmans

altalt: Plow United
(, Thu 25 Sep 2014, 13:28, Reply)
Plough YM

(, Thu 25 Sep 2014, 13:33, Reply)


(, Thu 25 Sep 2014, 13:33, Reply)
Thats my name!

(, Thu 25 Sep 2014, 13:44, Reply)
Oh na naaa

(, Thu 25 Sep 2014, 13:48, Reply)
This cunt looks like the lovechild of David Cameron and The Penguin.
www.bbc.co.uk/news/uk-england-kent-29359098
(, Thu 25 Sep 2014, 13:37, Reply)
He does, yes!

(, Thu 25 Sep 2014, 13:44, Reply)
it's things like this that make me homophobic.
www.buzzfeed.com/alanwhite/it-must-be-stopped-it-must-be-stopped#334b259

NSF anything. (Vile Essex cunt wears a "ball bag")
(, Thu 25 Sep 2014, 13:58, Reply)
Not clickin that might be buzzfeed and therefore shit

(, Thu 25 Sep 2014, 13:59, Reply)
^

(, Thu 25 Sep 2014, 14:00, Reply)
Google "Bobby bag" from todays news then.

(, Thu 25 Sep 2014, 14:11, Reply)
No.

(, Thu 25 Sep 2014, 14:12, Reply)
Drown it in the sea, burn it and salt the earth beneath it.

(, Thu 25 Sep 2014, 14:00, Reply)
All the washing up and a filthy sandwich toaster
My friends had decided to punish me for not doing the washing up by filling my bed with it all. Thing is, it was my flat. My one bedroomed flat, in which I lived alone. Why they thought they had the right to make a statement about me not doing my own washing up I've never understood.
(, Thu 25 Sep 2014, 13:59, Reply)
My mate used to use paper plates and plastic cutlery.
Probably not good for the environment but still.
(, Thu 25 Sep 2014, 14:12, Reply)
shall i do another take that thread?

(, Thu 25 Sep 2014, 14:13, Reply)
no

(, Thu 25 Sep 2014, 14:15, Reply)
Someone start a new thread please

(, Thu 25 Sep 2014, 14:20, Reply)
about take that?

(, Thu 25 Sep 2014, 14:20, Reply)
YES

(, Thu 25 Sep 2014, 14:21, Reply)
you got it big man!

(, Thu 25 Sep 2014, 14:22, Reply)
Can we have an alt about the spice girls?

(, Thu 25 Sep 2014, 14:22, Reply)
sure thing WBP

(, Thu 25 Sep 2014, 14:23, Reply)

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