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This is a question Off Topic

Are you a QOTWer? Do you want to start a thread that isn't a direct answer to the current QOTW? Then this place, gentle poster, is your friend.

(I helped save b3ta! rob, Sun 1 Apr 2001, 1:00)
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To be frank OT, I could do with 'a good seeing to'
Volunteers? I need references and case studies if poss, okay?

alt q - Give yourself a superhero name based on your greatest skill

altyalt = What's the funniest joke you know?
(I helped save b3ta! Ms Shenanigans put something interesting here later, Mon 6 Oct 2014, 12:40, 142 replies, latest was 10 years ago)
Sure
I don't do uglies or fatties so will require proof you are neither, but I have references and video evidence of my sexual prowess. I can also tie a cherry stalk in a knot with my tongue.

Alt. Sea Man
AltAlt The potatoes to kill an Irishman one.
(I helped save b3ta! Peej, Mon 6 Oct 2014, 12:43, Reply)
Go on then, I'll chuck one up you
But I don't guarantee you'll enjoy it.
(I helped save b3ta! tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Mon 6 Oct 2014, 12:43, Reply)
You're in the wrong place for lots of creepy gazzes.
Chompy isn't even here anymore.
(I helped save b3ta! Kroney, Mon 6 Oct 2014, 12:44, Reply)
Yeah', g'wan 'en, I got fuck all on 'till 'oaks comes on.

(I helped save b3ta! G/PP 💩💩💩💩💩&#128, Mon 6 Oct 2014, 12:44, Reply)
Are you a fat ginger cunt?

(I helped save b3ta! MEATSNAKE Richard Hammond, Mon 6 Oct 2014, 12:45, Reply)
Well McBeef has been sniffing round, he seems like a good chap.
Plumdozer likes shoving things up his arse if you're into that.
He's also been renovating a Victorian property since... well, the Victorian times it seems. He also thinks he's fit.

alt. Captain Bitchface

altalt. YM!!!!!!!!!!
(I helped save b3ta! GeordieJay Bummers are deaf, Mon 6 Oct 2014, 12:46, Reply)
dude, jealousy is an ugly thing

(dozers, do fuck off ur a nob m8, Mon 6 Oct 2014, 12:47, Reply)
well, you could just try being more accepting of others.

(I helped save b3ta! GeordieJay Bummers are deaf, Mon 6 Oct 2014, 12:49, Reply)
you mean 'accepting a cock in the arse'?
No thanks m8.
(dozers, do fuck off ur a nob m8, Mon 6 Oct 2014, 12:50, Reply)
You shove everything else up there.

(I helped save b3ta! GeordieJay Bummers are deaf, Mon 6 Oct 2014, 12:55, Reply)
alright
The Incredible Whisky Bore

What do you call an Italian man with a rubber toe? Roberto!
(dozers, do fuck off ur a nob m8, Mon 6 Oct 2014, 12:46, Reply)
What do you call cheese that isn't yours
Nacho cheese
(I helped save b3ta! Peej, Mon 6 Oct 2014, 12:47, Reply)
what do you call an arrogant Roman clown?
Supercilious.
(dozers, do fuck off ur a nob m8, Mon 6 Oct 2014, 12:49, Reply)
Did you hear about the dyslexic pimp?
He bought a warehouse!!!
(I helped save b3ta! MEATSNAKE Richard Hammond, Mon 6 Oct 2014, 12:48, Reply)
What did Thatcher and Saville have in common?
They both liked fucking miners
(I helped save b3ta! GeordieJay Bummers are deaf, Mon 6 Oct 2014, 12:50, Reply)
Why did Dozer cross the road?
BECAUSE HE HAD HIS COCK STUCK UP THE CHICKEN BECAUSE HE'S A CHICKEN FUCKER!!!
(I helped save b3ta! MEATSNAKE Richard Hammond, Mon 6 Oct 2014, 12:52, Reply)
aren't we all?

(dozers, do fuck off ur a nob m8, Mon 6 Oct 2014, 12:55, Reply)
No

(I helped save b3ta! MEATSNAKE Richard Hammond, Mon 6 Oct 2014, 12:56, Reply)
Eh?

(I helped save b3ta! Ms Shenanigans put something interesting here later, Mon 6 Oct 2014, 12:55, Reply)
oh god i don't know i give up

(I helped save b3ta! MEATSNAKE Richard Hammond, Mon 6 Oct 2014, 12:57, Reply)
You need to get a better handle on the back stories of all the crazy characters here
I for example am the best one here
(I helped save b3ta! Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Mon 6 Oct 2014, 12:57, Reply)

the best one here a bent spastic
(I helped save b3ta! b3th Not shit. Not mod., Mon 6 Oct 2014, 13:00, Reply)
+ and a charmless cunt who will end up alone and friendless The sad fact is that he will probably not see that he only has himself to blame, and will continue to be offensive and repugnant wherever he goes.

(I helped save b3ta! MEATSNAKE Richard Hammond, Mon 6 Oct 2014, 13:01, Reply)
:(

(I helped save b3ta! Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Mon 6 Oct 2014, 13:01, Reply)
Oh no my bad that's the *other* pompous twit

(I helped save b3ta! MEATSNAKE Richard Hammond, Mon 6 Oct 2014, 13:02, Reply)
Whoa WHOA!
Pompous?

This is news to me
(I helped save b3ta! Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Mon 6 Oct 2014, 13:03, Reply)
Even I wouldn't compare you to cranley

(I helped save b3ta! b3th Not shit. Not mod., Mon 6 Oct 2014, 13:04, Reply)
I'm twice the man he is

(I helped save b3ta! Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Mon 6 Oct 2014, 13:05, Reply)
I thought you and Gayham were bessie mates, anyway.

(I helped save b3ta! Kroney, Mon 6 Oct 2014, 13:06, Reply)
Whatever gave you that impression?

(I helped save b3ta! b3th Not shit. Not mod., Mon 6 Oct 2014, 13:07, Reply)
All that flirting you did.

(I helped save b3ta! Kroney, Mon 6 Oct 2014, 13:08, Reply)
*boaks*

(I helped save b3ta! b3th Not shit. Not mod., Mon 6 Oct 2014, 13:09, Reply)
He hasn't even text me to try and get me onside
and for this reason, I'm #TEAMCRANLEY
(I helped save b3ta! Peej, Mon 6 Oct 2014, 13:09, Reply)
I'm #teamohmygodidon'tknowigiveup

(I helped save b3ta! Kroney, Mon 6 Oct 2014, 13:12, Reply)
Typical frenchie^

(I helped save b3ta! Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Mon 6 Oct 2014, 13:13, Reply)
Obviously I meant our resident chicken fucker Dozer

(I helped save b3ta! MEATSNAKE Richard Hammond, Mon 6 Oct 2014, 13:11, Reply)
but not news to anybody else

(dozers, do fuck off ur a nob m8, Mon 6 Oct 2014, 13:07, Reply)
Ironry check aisle dozer

(I helped save b3ta! Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Mon 6 Oct 2014, 13:08, Reply)
AWOOOGA AWOOOOGA SUSPECTED BREACH OF SELF-AWARENESS PROTOCOL

(I helped save b3ta! Kroney, Mon 6 Oct 2014, 13:08, Reply)
Everyone knows that me and frog are the best ones here based on our flawless new thread record.

(I helped save b3ta! Peej, Mon 6 Oct 2014, 13:06, Reply)
Trudat peejay

(I helped save b3ta! MEATSNAKE Richard Hammond, Mon 6 Oct 2014, 13:10, Reply)
I have clicked 'I like this!'.

(DefinitelyNOTAmorousBadgerOhNo, Mon 6 Oct 2014, 12:56, Reply)
^ morbidly obese wife

(dozers, do fuck off ur a nob m8, Mon 6 Oct 2014, 13:03, Reply)
^chicken fucker^

(I helped save b3ta! MEATSNAKE Richard Hammond, Mon 6 Oct 2014, 13:05, Reply)
^fucks chickens

(DefinitelyNOTAmorousBadgerOhNo, Mon 6 Oct 2014, 13:11, Reply)
I won't, if you don't mind.
Alt: Shitmod
AltAlt: what do you call a three-legged donkey?
(I helped save b3ta! b3th Not shit. Not mod., Mon 6 Oct 2014, 12:56, Reply)
I'm good thanks, needy sweaty Internet chicks ent my thing, also just celebrated 12 years with the misses
Alt: necrononce

Altalt: there are 2 monkeys in a bath.

The first says, "ooh ooh aha hahahaha"

To which tbe second replies, " if it's too hot Colin put some cold water in"
(I helped save b3ta! Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Mon 6 Oct 2014, 12:56, Reply)
How many misses do you have?

(I helped save b3ta! b3th Not shit. Not mod., Mon 6 Oct 2014, 12:57, Reply)
One in every area code

(I helped save b3ta! Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Mon 6 Oct 2014, 12:58, Reply)
30m

(I helped save b3ta! sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Mon 6 Oct 2014, 13:01, Reply)
Two fish in a tank
One says "I'LL DRIVE! YOU MAN THE GUN!"
(I helped save b3ta! Peej, Mon 6 Oct 2014, 13:01, Reply)
Two parrots on a perch
One says to the other "Can you smell fish?"


The second one says "Yeah, I was round your mum's earlier."
(I helped save b3ta! b3th Not shit. Not mod., Mon 6 Oct 2014, 13:02, Reply)
Here is a picture of me


Seriously though, is there anyone, regardless of their political leanings, including his own mother, who doesn't want to smack that cunt right in the face?
(I helped save b3ta! Peej, Mon 6 Oct 2014, 13:00, Reply)
Poor "swipes twin brother"

(I helped save b3ta! Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Mon 6 Oct 2014, 13:02, Reply)
I would.
But only because he's Scottish.
(Baggenfrock get fucked, Mon 6 Oct 2014, 13:03, Reply)
I don't even know what that is.

(I helped save b3ta! Kroney, Mon 6 Oct 2014, 13:03, Reply)
Neither does he

(I helped save b3ta! sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Mon 6 Oct 2014, 13:04, Reply)
Leave politics to the men eh?

(I helped save b3ta! Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Mon 6 Oct 2014, 13:04, Reply)
Christ, you've come to a pretty pass when Nakers is claiming intellectual superiority over you.
I'd best just kill myself now and get it over with.
(I helped save b3ta! Kroney, Mon 6 Oct 2014, 13:05, Reply)
I am pretty thank you

(I helped save b3ta! Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Mon 6 Oct 2014, 13:13, Reply)
Yeah well, I have better legs.

(I helped save b3ta! Kroney, Mon 6 Oct 2014, 13:13, Reply)
Yeah but they end in blotchy cankles these days

(I helped save b3ta! Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Mon 6 Oct 2014, 13:14, Reply)
They do not
They are shapely and muscular. They're about the only thing left that is these days, but still. VERY SEXY.
(I helped save b3ta! Kroney, Mon 6 Oct 2014, 13:15, Reply)
Remember back when you used to be the model of physical perfection?
Man, those were the days.
(I helped save b3ta! b3th Not shit. Not mod., Mon 6 Oct 2014, 13:20, Reply)
He's ginger so is therefore 50% relevant to my interests.

(I helped save b3ta! MEATSNAKE Richard Hammond, Mon 6 Oct 2014, 13:05, Reply)
I make that 25% at best on the Chompy Index.

(I helped save b3ta! Kroney, Mon 6 Oct 2014, 13:05, Reply)
i don't get it

(I helped save b3ta! MEATSNAKE Richard Hammond, Mon 6 Oct 2014, 13:06, Reply)
Oh God I don't know, I give up.

(I helped save b3ta! Kroney, Mon 6 Oct 2014, 13:07, Reply)
tough crowd today

(I helped save b3ta! MEATSNAKE Richard Hammond, Mon 6 Oct 2014, 13:07, Reply)
I'm a pacifist. I abhor violence and believe it solves nothing.
But yeah, I'd punch him.
(I helped save b3ta! tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Mon 6 Oct 2014, 13:05, Reply)
Bit gay^

(I helped save b3ta! Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Mon 6 Oct 2014, 13:09, Reply)
I want the world to know, gotta let it show....
I'm so close to discovery, erm....HIC...fuckitHIC...cuntHIC
(Xav loves PhillieJoe, Mon 6 Oct 2014, 13:00, Reply)
When I was a single cow, I'd have been up there like a rat up a drainpipe
Alt:
I dont have any SKILLZ
(I helped save b3ta! sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Mon 6 Oct 2014, 13:02, Reply)
Surely you would be
Howay Man,
(Bonzodog29 is an unemployed sponge of the worst kind, Mon 6 Oct 2014, 13:09, Reply)
Mint man pet man

(I helped save b3ta! Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Mon 6 Oct 2014, 13:10, Reply)
Haway not Howay
Sunderland v Newcastle
(I helped save b3ta! sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Mon 6 Oct 2014, 13:12, Reply)
Same difference

(I helped save b3ta! Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Mon 6 Oct 2014, 13:12, Reply)
Oh Christ who cares.

(I helped save b3ta! Kroney, Mon 6 Oct 2014, 13:13, Reply)
^resident of Portsmouth

(I helped save b3ta! sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Mon 6 Oct 2014, 13:32, Reply)
That should be a euphamism

(Bonzodog29 is an unemployed sponge of the worst kind, Mon 6 Oct 2014, 13:59, Reply)
Don't tell me the score I'm watching it later.

(I helped save b3ta! MEATSNAKE Richard Hammond, Mon 6 Oct 2014, 13:13, Reply)
everyone loses

(Bonzodog29 is an unemployed sponge of the worst kind, Mon 6 Oct 2014, 14:10, Reply)
How come that shit thread got deleted?
I'd call myself Doctor Love.
(DBT became a fruitarian on, Mon 6 Oct 2014, 13:09, Reply)
beefy proving himself to the new girl

(I helped save b3ta! GeordieJay Bummers are deaf, Mon 6 Oct 2014, 13:14, Reply)
Dunno why, even if she falls for it, he's just going to end up blooing.

(I helped save b3ta! Kroney, Mon 6 Oct 2014, 13:14, Reply)
Hokay.

(DBT became a fruitarian on, Mon 6 Oct 2014, 13:15, Reply)
btw, you are a real splitarse? I'm about to have a midlife crisis, and could do with something young and fit for a fling.
I am disease free
(DBT became a fruitarian on, Mon 6 Oct 2014, 13:14, Reply)
Another Bear Pookie word

(I helped save b3ta! tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Mon 6 Oct 2014, 13:20, Reply)
I thought that.

(I helped save b3ta! MEATSNAKE Richard Hammond, Mon 6 Oct 2014, 13:22, Reply)
Have we been trolled all along?

(I helped save b3ta! GeordieJay Bummers are deaf, Mon 6 Oct 2014, 14:03, Reply)
jumped up dictionary bashing mid life sk8r chicken fucker
#justsayin
(I helped save b3ta! MEATSNAKE Richard Hammond, Mon 6 Oct 2014, 13:19, Reply)
chickens dig me

(dozers, do fuck off ur a nob m8, Mon 6 Oct 2014, 13:22, Reply)
haha

(I helped save b3ta! MEATSNAKE Richard Hammond, Mon 6 Oct 2014, 13:23, Reply)
^ feels like chicken tonight

(I helped save b3ta! b3th Not shit. Not mod., Mon 6 Oct 2014, 13:24, Reply)
Bit disappointed that Shenso hasn't got involved in this thread at all
Or did she gaz the lucky winner?
(I helped save b3ta! tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Mon 6 Oct 2014, 13:21, Reply)
Yep.

(I helped save b3ta! MEATSNAKE Richard Hammond, Mon 6 Oct 2014, 13:21, Reply)
Hahahhaha

(I helped save b3ta! b3th Not shit. Not mod., Mon 6 Oct 2014, 13:22, Reply)

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