The mouldy old cunts in charge of the country have clearly got too much time on their hands again.
A long list of sex acts just got banned in UK porn.
( .Yeti. El amor en los tiempos del cólera, Tue 2 Dec 2014, 14:37, 145 replies, latest was 9 years ago)

who cares

( MEATSNAKE Richard Hammond, Tue 2 Dec 2014, 14:42, Reply)

oh this is one of the ones that has me on two point oh :(

( MEATSNAKE Richard Hammond, Tue 2 Dec 2014, 14:51, Reply)

you're a notorious online bully

(dozers, do fuck off ur a nob m8, Tue 2 Dec 2014, 14:54, Reply)

am not

( MEATSNAKE Richard Hammond, Tue 2 Dec 2014, 14:56, Reply)

STOP BULLYING DOZO.

( Je suis un vagabond is an unfunny, up your own arse middle class knob, Tue 2 Dec 2014, 14:57, Reply)

stop shouting at me :'(

( MEATSNAKE Richard Hammond, Tue 2 Dec 2014, 14:58, Reply)

as long as foot fetish is still allowed I couldn't give a shit.
Lol.
(dozers, do fuck off ur a nob m8, Tue 2 Dec 2014, 14:44, Reply)

this is not relevant to my interests

(old man river possible lesbian, Tue 2 Dec 2014, 14:45, Reply)

It doesn't appear to affect my wanking habits either

( tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Tue 2 Dec 2014, 14:46, Reply)

I know you can still get all that as long as it was filmed outside of the UK
so I am fine
(Bonzodog29 is an unemployed sponge of the worst kind, Tue 2 Dec 2014, 14:47, Reply)

As long as they ban mouldy old cunts I am happy

(Bonzodog29 is an unemployed sponge of the worst kind, Tue 2 Dec 2014, 14:47, Reply)

YM will just have to accept lower paid acting jobs then

(localboy purveyor of pisspoor puns, Tue 2 Dec 2014, 14:49, Reply)

She IS the mouldy old cunt
all is revealed
(Bonzodog29 is an unemployed sponge of the worst kind, Tue 2 Dec 2014, 14:52, Reply)

lol wut?

( Je suis un vagabond is an unfunny, up your own arse middle class knob, Tue 2 Dec 2014, 14:49, Reply)

something about John Major being pegged by Edwina Currie

(old man river possible lesbian, Tue 2 Dec 2014, 14:55, Reply)

Oh I thought it was about that pedophile ring story that's clouding the entire upper echelon of the ruling elite and is now threatening to include Buckingham Palace.

( Je suis un vagabond is an unfunny, up your own arse middle class knob, Tue 2 Dec 2014, 14:56, Reply)

Technically
it's not too late to make "A Right Royal Rodgering".
( .Yeti. El amor en los tiempos del cólera, Tue 2 Dec 2014, 14:58, Reply)

still ... at least house prices are increasing wildly ahead of the rest of inflation

(old man river possible lesbian, Tue 2 Dec 2014, 14:58, Reply)

Yes. Good.
I'm sitting on a gold mine. I'm going to invest in bargepoles with which to push away povvos swimming to shelter come the floods.
( Je suis un vagabond is an unfunny, up your own arse middle class knob, Tue 2 Dec 2014, 15:10, Reply)

to push away povvos swimming to shelter come the floods nobody will touch mine
(old man river possible lesbian, Tue 2 Dec 2014, 15:37, Reply)

Bummer

(Xav loves PhillieJoe, Tue 2 Dec 2014, 15:07, Reply)

Pardon?

( GeordieJay Bummers are deaf, Tue 2 Dec 2014, 15:21, Reply)

Hey, fuck you you fucking pointless cunt.
I don't even know who you are.

FUCK YOU!
(Baggenfrock get fucked, Tue 2 Dec 2014, 15:13, Reply)

^ Upset con BONGLE

( GeordieJay Bummers are deaf, Tue 2 Dec 2014, 15:20, Reply)

Its not very nice being 2.0d is it jay?

(Baggenfrock get fucked, Tue 2 Dec 2014, 15:28, Reply)

Penetration by any object "associated with violence"
Damn. Bottles of Stella up the mimsy are now a no-no.
( Muns, Tue 2 Dec 2014, 15:16, Reply)

No chance of getting 'bible-bashed' either

(Xav loves PhillieJoe, Tue 2 Dec 2014, 15:17, Reply)

You'll have to use the imported stuff...

( JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Tue 2 Dec 2014, 15:18, Reply)

Wonder if Emvee knows about this?
Star Wars figures must come under that definition also?
(localboy purveyor of pisspoor puns, Tue 2 Dec 2014, 15:18, Reply)

I suppose it depends on the figures role in the file.
Darth and Luke are out of the question. The robots role is fairly peaceful though, so C3P0 in the twat is acceptable.
( Muns, Tue 2 Dec 2014, 15:19, Reply)

don't be ridiculous
R2D2 goes in the twat. C3P0 goes up the arse.
(old man river possible lesbian, Tue 2 Dec 2014, 15:28, Reply)

"they'll be back, and in greater numbers"

( Slippery Mick ‏, Tue 2 Dec 2014, 15:45, Reply)

Didn't someone do that on Big Brother

( G/PP 💩💩💩💩💩&#128, Tue 2 Dec 2014, 15:30, Reply)

Who buys porn?
All the best filth comes from overseas anyway
( GeordieJay Bummers are deaf, Tue 2 Dec 2014, 15:20, Reply)

I can't watch British porn.
Not since someone showed me a video with a yorkshire woman taking it up the shitter and saying in the most deadpan way possible "Ooh, that's 'reet good!"
( Muns, Tue 2 Dec 2014, 15:21, Reply)

reet petite

( GeordieJay Bummers are deaf, Tue 2 Dec 2014, 15:23, Reply)

She really wasn't.
Yorkshire, remember?
( Muns, Tue 2 Dec 2014, 15:24, Reply)

I can't stand it either, to be honest.
In as much as it's possible for porn to be classy, porn from literally anywhere else in the world seems to be classier than what's made in Britain. They seem to have rounded up the cheapest, most plasticky heifers in the land and told them to moan like they're eating the world's most deliciously lardy cheeseburger for minutes on end.
( .Yeti. El amor en los tiempos del cólera, Tue 2 Dec 2014, 15:32, Reply)

now we're getting SEXY

(old man river possible lesbian, Tue 2 Dec 2014, 15:35, Reply)

I saw a Geordie version, but the actress had a spark plug shoved up her arse.
'Oooh, Champion!'

(Might make a car parts geek smile).
( JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Tue 2 Dec 2014, 15:29, Reply)

Ha! I hope this is true.

(old man river possible lesbian, Tue 2 Dec 2014, 15:31, Reply)

Clearly not. I just made it up.

( JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Tue 2 Dec 2014, 15:32, Reply)

this has ruined my entire day

(old man river possible lesbian, Tue 2 Dec 2014, 15:36, Reply)

Good.

( JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Tue 2 Dec 2014, 15:37, Reply)

horrid meanie

(old man river possible lesbian, Tue 2 Dec 2014, 15:56, Reply)

'Wigan fatty fuck' is sordid and hilarious.

( Slippery Mick ‏, Tue 2 Dec 2014, 15:40, Reply)

and ridiculous
like anyone from wigan ever gets laid
( rachelswipe with a fork, Tue 2 Dec 2014, 15:42, Reply)

my mum's greatest oeuvre

(old man river possible lesbian, Tue 2 Dec 2014, 15:56, Reply)

Simply take any noun and add 'ing' to the end of it
Hey Presto! You've just invented a sex act!
( Two Hats I saw someone eating M&M's with a spoon, Tue 2 Dec 2014, 16:14, Reply)

nouning.

( Je suis un vagabond is an unfunny, up your own arse middle class knob, Tue 2 Dec 2014, 16:15, Reply)

disgusting

( Two Hats I saw someone eating M&M's with a spoon, Tue 2 Dec 2014, 16:16, Reply)

tobogganing!

( Kroney, Tue 2 Dec 2014, 16:15, Reply)

filthy pig

( Two Hats I saw someone eating M&M's with a spoon, Tue 2 Dec 2014, 16:16, Reply)

What about
FUCKing?
( Two Hats I saw someone eating M&M's with a spoon, Tue 2 Dec 2014, 16:19, Reply)

is a fuck even a thing?

(localboy purveyor of pisspoor puns, Tue 2 Dec 2014, 16:22, Reply)

not when you work in IT

( rachelswipe with a fork, Tue 2 Dec 2014, 16:23, Reply)

I am famously frigid.

( Kroney, Tue 2 Dec 2014, 16:33, Reply)

dry stone walling

( rachelswipe with a fork, Tue 2 Dec 2014, 16:20, Reply)

^pervert

( Two Hats I saw someone eating M&M's with a spoon, Tue 2 Dec 2014, 16:21, Reply)

hey, YD taught me all i know

( rachelswipe with a fork, Tue 2 Dec 2014, 16:23, Reply)

And he's dead now
Really makes you think
( Two Hats I saw someone eating M&M's with a spoon, Tue 2 Dec 2014, 16:26, Reply)

I was dry stone walling this weekend

(Bonzodog29 is an unemployed sponge of the worst kind, Tue 2 Dec 2014, 16:27, Reply)

^falling down soggy house

(Mr Udagawa, Tue 2 Dec 2014, 16:29, Reply)

Wall around the garden that I am putting a new gate into but dismantled first
But thanks for asking
(Bonzodog29 is an unemployed sponge of the worst kind, Tue 2 Dec 2014, 16:36, Reply)

is there anything right about that fucking house ?

(Mr Udagawa, Tue 2 Dec 2014, 16:39, Reply)

Yep
It is miles away from you.
(Bonzodog29 is an unemployed sponge of the worst kind, Tue 2 Dec 2014, 16:43, Reply)

I don't like whiffy mildewy persons in any event, STAY AWAY FROM ME

(Mr Udagawa, Tue 2 Dec 2014, 16:45, Reply)

fisting
nah, can't see that meaning anything
(localboy purveyor of pisspoor puns, Tue 2 Dec 2014, 16:20, Reply)

Well if we're just going to make things up....

( Two Hats I saw someone eating M&M's with a spoon, Tue 2 Dec 2014, 16:21, Reply)

Of course; the best formula is
gerund + noun = euphemism
( Je suis un vagabond is an unfunny, up your own arse middle class knob, Tue 2 Dec 2014, 16:22, Reply)

Gerunding

( Two Hats I saw someone eating M&M's with a spoon, Tue 2 Dec 2014, 16:33, Reply)

phoning

(Bonzodog29 is an unemployed sponge of the worst kind, Tue 2 Dec 2014, 16:26, Reply)

On a Siemens

( JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Tue 2 Dec 2014, 16:28, Reply)

WOAH WHATS WITH THE POTTY MOUTH

(Bonzodog29 is an unemployed sponge of the worst kind, Tue 2 Dec 2014, 16:28, Reply)

i kind of want to live here
it has a wig room. a WIG ROOM.

www.rightmove.co.uk/property-for-sale/property-42183655.html
( rachelswipe with a fork, Tue 2 Dec 2014, 16:33, Reply)

Doesn't seem like a lot toupee

( JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Tue 2 Dec 2014, 16:36, Reply)

i am not sure if i want to clap you or get someone to give you the clap for that

( rachelswipe with a fork, Tue 2 Dec 2014, 16:36, Reply)

Sporty would just LTI me.
Where is he this week?
( JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Tue 2 Dec 2014, 16:38, Reply)

doing YM with a strap-on whilst YD watches and takes notes

( rachelswipe with a fork, Tue 2 Dec 2014, 16:46, Reply)

+ and waits for his turn

(Bonzodog29 is an unemployed sponge of the worst kind, Tue 2 Dec 2014, 16:48, Reply)

*syrupathy reply*

(localboy purveyor of pisspoor puns, Tue 2 Dec 2014, 16:37, Reply)

It's got some tacky extensions.

( Kroney, Tue 2 Dec 2014, 16:38, Reply)

I'd say they were highlights.

( JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Tue 2 Dec 2014, 16:39, Reply)

It's only likely to appeal to a fringe audience.

( Kroney, Tue 2 Dec 2014, 16:40, Reply)

Jay would like the Butlers Passageway though

(Bonzodog29 is an unemployed sponge of the worst kind, Tue 2 Dec 2014, 16:40, Reply)

Depends on how fit the Butler is really.

( GeordieJay Bummers are deaf, Tue 2 Dec 2014, 17:03, Reply)

Any excuse to weave a pun in.

( Slippery Mick ‏, Tue 2 Dec 2014, 16:46, Reply)

Hair today, gone tomorrow

( GeordieJay Bummers are deaf, Tue 2 Dec 2014, 17:04, Reply)

More like a Whig room for you
eh eh eh

no oh ok
(Bonzodog29 is an unemployed sponge of the worst kind, Tue 2 Dec 2014, 16:38, Reply)

On a Saturday, hair pieces would be kept in the garden.
#Whigfield
( JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Tue 2 Dec 2014, 16:39, Reply)

LTI

(Bonzodog29 is an unemployed sponge of the worst kind, Tue 2 Dec 2014, 16:44, Reply)

everyone would like you too as well :)
plz don't bother getting internet there
(Mr Udagawa, Tue 2 Dec 2014, 16:41, Reply)

stick your head dobber up your arse
kthxbai
( rachelswipe with a fork, Tue 2 Dec 2014, 16:45, Reply)

I sang this as a football chant

(Bonzodog29 is an unemployed sponge of the worst kind, Tue 2 Dec 2014, 16:48, Reply)

Does he have to take it off first?

( G/PP 💩💩💩💩💩&#128, Tue 2 Dec 2014, 16:53, Reply)

Can I go home yet?

( Kroney, Tue 2 Dec 2014, 16:50, Reply)